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Expat wanderer

Grammar Gripes from BBC

Found this morning on BBC News Magazine:

Grammar just ain’t what it used to be, it seems. When we explained the difference between “fewer” and “less than”, following Tesco’s policy shift on this matter, readers told us what grammar rules they see being flouted or find confusing. The list was a long one. Here are the best.

1. The one that really annoys me is how people suddenly seem to confuse “have” and “of”, as in: “I could of learnt how to write properly.” There’s no excuse for it!
Pete, Sheffield

2. The phrase “for free” is becoming commonplace and is used often on television and it’s wrong. It should be “for nothing”.
Mary, Basingstoke

3. That guardian of our language, the BBC, is full of solecisms these days; just one example: 12 pm. There is no such time; “meridiem” as in am (“ante meridiem” means “before noon”) and pm (“post meridiem” means “after noon”) means midday. The 12th hour is neither before nor after midday. So please, BBC use either midday or noon with midnight the correct term for the other end of the day. This is not being pedantic; in these days of 24-hour days, it is often not readily apparent what time 12 pm might be.
Mervyn, Usk, Monmouthshire

4. If you do something to change a situation, then you “effect” a change. If your circumstances are changed by an action, then the change has caused an “effect”. You cannot “affect” a change in something, nor can you be “effected” by one.
Rob, Lyme Regis

5. I get annoyed at the reckless use of apostrophes, for example, the plural of CD can’t be CD’s.
Shahed Alam, London

6. Many people, including public speakers, incorrectly use “I” instead of “me”. For instance, they would say “She said some very kind things about George and I”, thinking that they are being polite or grammatically correct. An easy way to remember which to use is: if you would say him or her on its own, use me; if you would say he or she on its own, use I. For example, “She said some very kind things about him”.
Lorraine, Aylesbury

7. Incorrect use of reflexives make my blood boil. I think that for someone to say “yourself” and “myself” when they just mean “you” or “me” is possibly out of a false sense of politeness, or maybe the insidious effect of TV soaps, or both. Those who use it correctly can give “themselves” a pat on the back.
John Self, Wisset, Suffolk

8. How about “none of them is” and “none of them are”? Most people would use the latter whereas the former is correct. “None” is short for “not one” therefore “not one (none) of them is” would be used. Most newsreaders still get it right though – on the BBC anyway!
Emily, Bristol

NOTE: Fowler’s Modern English Usage says that “none” is not short for “not one” and although using a singular verb is more common, using a plural verb has also been an acceptable option since the reign of King Alfred.

9. Similar TO, different FROM, compared WITH. Not “to” used for all of them!
Susan, Brisbane, Australia

NOTE: Fowler’s Modern English Usage says: “The commonly expressed view that ‘different’ should only be followed by ‘from’ and never by ‘to’ or ‘than’ is not supportable in the face of past and present evidence or of logic.” It adds that “compare to” is to liken and “compare with” or “compare to” is used to point out similarities and differences. The BBC News website style guide differs with Fowler’s on this last point. It says that when pointing out differences, “compare with” should always be used.

10. Here’s one they often get wrong on BBC news! BBC reporter: “Then they opened fire on us”. This is incorrect. In military terms there are two methods of shooting at an enemy, controlled-fire and open-fire. I.E. you are not opening anything so using the past tense of open is incorrect. The correct expression should be “Then they open-fired on us”
JWTH, Belfast

11. I find the increasing, incorrect use of “literally” annoying…. “I literally went blue with anger!!” “Really?” I ask.
Ned, Wallingford

12. The proper use of “its” and “it’s” seems to confound many people, with “its” being a possessive and “it’s” being a contraction of “it is”. I’ve seen this mistake made even in some rather lofty publications…
Eric, Berlin

13. It annoys me when people use “due to” when they mean “owing to”. But then I’m a pedant.
Guy, London

NOTE: The BBC News website style guide says “due to” means “caused by” and needs a noun, but “owing to” means “because of” and relates to a verb. Hence, “the visit was cancelled [cancelled is the verb] owing to flooding” is correct. So too is “the flooding [flooding is the noun] was due to weeks of heavy rain”.

14. As a secondary teacher, I’m beginning to despair when it comes to “they’re”, “there” and “their”; not to mention “to”, “two” and “too”. Why are we so afraid to correct these simple mistakes which make all the difference at a later stage?
Alexandra, London

15. There is also confusion over lend and borrow. I keep hearing school children asking “to lend your pencil” when what they actually mean is to “borrow” the pencil.
Ian Walton, Bedford

16. I cringe when I hear BBC reporters say “amount of people” when it should be “number of people”!
Jill Thistlethwaite, Leyburn, UK

NOTE: Fowler’s says “amount” is used with nouns that are not countable, such as “amount of forgiveness” and “amount of glue” – but “number” is used with countable nouns, such as “number of boys” and “number of houses”
.
17. I don’t like it when people say: I can go there “by foot” instead of “on foot”….the right preposition to use is ON.
Daniela, Urbana, IL

18. The usage that I find particularly irritating is that of a single noun with a plural verb, for example: “the team are happy with their victory”, or “management have congratulated the workforce on the recent increase in productivity”. Team is a singular noun so it should read “the team IS happy…” or “the team members ARE happy”, the same applies “management HAS congratulated…” Also, what has happened to the word “versus”, abbreviated “vs”? Now all we see is “v”; it is even read like that in sports announcements.
Lucia, Horndean, UK

NOTE: The BBC News website’s style is that sports teams and pop/rock bands are always plural.

19. A classic confusing rule is the one that states that one is supposed never to end a sentence with a preposition. While this is easy and appropriate to follow in most cases, for example by saying “Yesterday I visited the town to which she has just moved” instead of “…the town she has just moved to”, it becomes troublesome when the verb structure includes a preposition that cannot be removed from it, as in “At work I am using a new computer with which my manager recently set me up”, which cannot correctly be changed to “…I am using a new computer up with which my manager recently set me”.
Philip Graves, Stockholm, Sweden

20. Stadiums, as a plural of stadium, rather than stadia.
C. Matthews, Birmingham, UK

NOTE: Fowler’s says that when dealing with modern sports grounds, rather than ones from the classical world, the plural is “stadiums”.

My own pet peeve is a very small thing; people say anxious when they really mean eager. Anxious, as in “I am anxious to take my vacation” really meaning “I am eager to take my vacation”. Anxious implies an element of worry, eager is take-the-brakes-off-ready-to-go!

September 4, 2008 Posted by | Communication, Language, News, Random Musings | | 25 Comments

What a Difference a “D” Makes

AdventureMan called me, laughing, and said “I just have to tell you what just happened to me.”

He was talking with a Kuwaiti woman who said “You speak Arabic amazingly well, except for one little thing – you say the ‘d’ when you should be saying the ‘Dh’.”

It was all he could do not to laugh. Not because of what she had said, but because it reminded him of a conversation we had, repeatedly.

When AdventureMan took Arabic, I took French. We were on our way to Tunis, I had a small baby, and I already spoke a little French. I made arrangements to study half days, and hoped it would be enough. Thanks be to God, together, we did just fine. In Tunis, most Tunisians spoke French and even those who spoke Arabic switched to French for the numbers. (Things are different now; this was many years ago.) The Tunisians called him “That Lebanese guy married to the French woman.” (He is not Lebanese. I am not French. Most Tunisians spoke a Berber dialect, which was not quite the same as Arabic.)

When I finally started formal Arabic classes, years later, I would say things I had learned from my husband and my dear Qatteri teacher would say “No, that is how those Lebanese people say it, not the way we say it.”

When my husband would correct my Arabic, now I could just cooly look at him and say “That is how you Lebanese say it, but we Qatteris say it this way.”

When he would lecture me on Arabic (I can only absorb about one minute of lecture at a time and them my head starts swimming) I would respond with ” ‘Dh’ AdventureMan, ‘Dh’ ” implying that his “Dh” wasn’t hard enough. It would make him laugh every time, totally crack him up. He can’t lecture me when he is laughing.

So here he is on the phone, laughing and laughing, because the Kuwaiti woman told him his Arabic was fine except that his “dh” wasn’t hard enough. God bless you, dear, whoever you are. 🙂

August 27, 2008 Posted by | Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Language, Living Conditions, Marriage, Middle East, Relationships, Tunisia | 7 Comments

Job and Islamic Tradition

One of the things I learned later in life, like when I lived in Doha, is that you (my Gulf and Moslem readers) have many of the same characters and stories in the Qur’an that we have in the Bible. Interesting, to me, the stories are not always exactly the same. Today’s reading in our lectionary (Old Testament) is from Job (you call him Ayoub, I think.)

First – if you read this, will you tell me if the story in Islam is similar to our story – that Satan is allowed to torment Job, because God believes him to be a faithful servant who will not turn away from him in times of hardship? Satan believes he can demonstrate that Job will be faithless?

Second – why is Satan called “the accuser?” I know Arabic is very close to the old Aramaic; is Satan always called Sheitan? Do you have other names for Satan? (These are not rhetorical questions; these are things I really don’t know) For example, Satan, in our tradition, is called The Father of Lies, The Great Deceiver, etc. But I don’t understand him being called The Accuser.

Third, toward the end of this reading his wife says essentially, give it up, Job, curse God and die. But the little asterisk says “bless”. This is a great puzzlement to me – a curse is the absolute 180° opposite of a blessing, I think. And then again, sometimes what appears to be a curse can be a blessing, and what appears to be a blessing can end up really being a curse. I just don’t understand why, in this context, the word curse could also mean bless? Do you?

Job 2:1-13

2 One day the heavenly beings* came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan (*Heb the accuser) also came among them to present himself before the Lord. 2 The Lord said to Satan,* ‘Where have you come from?’ Satan* answered the Lord, ‘From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.’ 3 The Lord said to Satan,* ‘Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man who fears God and turns away from evil. He still persists in his integrity, although you incited me against him, to destroy him for no reason.’ 4 Then Satan* answered the Lord, ‘Skin for skin! All that people have they will give to save their lives.* 5But stretch out your hand now and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.’ 6 The Lord said to Satan,* ‘Very well, he is in your power; only spare his life.’

7 So Satan* went out from the presence of the Lord, and inflicted loathsome sores on Job from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. 8Job* took a potsherd with which to scrape himself, and sat among the ashes.

9 Then his wife said to him, ‘Do you still persist in your integrity? Curse* (bless) God, and die.’ 10 But he said to her, ‘You speak as any foolish woman would speak. Shall we receive the good at the hand of God, and not receive the bad?’ In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all these troubles that had come upon him, each of them set out from his home—Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They met together to go and console and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him, and they raised their voices and wept aloud; they tore their robes and threw dust in the air upon their heads. 13 They sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.

August 23, 2008 Posted by | Books, Communication, Cultural, Family Issues, Language, Random Musings, Relationships, Spiritual | , | 22 Comments

Jackknife

The Kuwait Times crime editor has come across a new term, and now he is using it every chance he gets. It is driving me crazy.

See if you can pick it out:

Policeman Injured
A policeman was injured after his patrol vehicle jackknifed when he lost control of the steering with the car coming to a rest upside down in the road. The officer managed to use the car’s radio to call for assistance and emergency services were quickly rushed to the scene, rushing the injured policeman to hospital.

Unless the police officer was driving a sectioned vehical; a car towing a trailer, a truck carrying a connected load – something that can be BENT, FOLDED, like a jackknife –

– then it is NOT a jackknifed vehicle. Most police vehicles are sedans. A sedan cannot jackknife.

This is the explanation from Wikipedia:
Jackknifing means the accidental folding of an articulated vehicle (i.e. one towing a trailer) such that it resembles the acute angle of a folding pocket knife. If a vehicle towing a trailer skids, the trailer can push it from behind until it spins round and faces backwards. This may be caused by equipment failure, improper braking, or adverse road conditions such as an icy road surface.

Jackknifing is not very common and usually only happens to an empty vehicle. Most truck drivers are skillful enough to correct a skid before it becomes a jackknife. It would be an exaggeration to claim that jackknifing accounts for a large number of tractor-semitrailer accidents since in many cases it is the collision that would have caused the vehicle to jackknife and not vice versa. Radio stations often report jackknifed trucks because people phone to tell them, but more often than not, the truck has not technically jackknifed; it may be stuck in the snow or damaged in a crash.

June 30, 2008 Posted by | Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Just Bad English, Kuwait, Language, Living Conditions, Words | 10 Comments

Business Magnet

These are all so common I hardly post them any more, but I really liked it that this guy’s dad was a “business magnet.”

From: Sihem Aldouri
Ivory Coast West Africa

Dearest One,
Based on your profile I’m happy to request for your assistance and also to go
into business partnership with you, I believe that you will not betrayed my
trust which I’m going to relay on you.

I am Sihem Aldouri 19 years old and the only daughter of my late parents
Mr. and Mrs David Kouame.My father was a highly reputable business magnet-(a
cocoa merchant)who operated in the capital of Ivory coast during his days. It is
sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in one of his business trips abroad
in Europe year 12th.Febuary 2005.Though his sudden death was linked or rather
suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at
that time.

But God knows the truth! My mother died when I was just 8 years old, and
since then my father took me so special before his death on February 12th 2005
he called the secretary who accompanied him to the hospital and told him that he
has the sum of Ten Million five hundreds thousand United State
Dollars.(USD$10.500.00) left in a security company in a metallic trunk box, but
the security company didn’t know the contents because it was registered as
family valuables items for security reasons.

I am just 19 years old and a university undergraduate and really don’t know
what to do. This is because I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of
incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast. The death of my late father has
actually brought sorrow to my life.

Sir/Madam, I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this
regards. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded. For you to assist
me in this transaction I will offer you 15 percent of the total sum. please if
you have any question to ask me about this transaction do not delay to contact
me on my above email address. I await your urgent response as soon as possible.

Thanks and best regards.

Yours Truely.

Sihem Aldouri.

Hmmmm, let’s see, what is 15% of 10.5 million? Hmmm. . . .AdventureMan could retire. . . . and when we get the money from Publisher’s Clearing House . . . we will like like kings!

June 4, 2008 Posted by | Crime, Financial Issues, Language | , , | 8 Comments

Reading Signs for the Future

This article from The Washington Post caught my eye for a couple of reasons. While I like Harry Potter, and am delighted to see children reading just about anything, I wondered if some of the oldies but goodies were still being read – and this study says that they are.

What is the number one factor that encourages children to read? Living in a family where books and magazines are everywhere, where parents take their kids to libraries and bookstores. Computer use also encourages good reading – and writing – skills.

What Do Children Read? Hint: Harry Potter’s Not No. 1

By Jay Mathews
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, May 5, 2008; 2:32 PM

Children have welcomed the Harry Potter books in recent years like free ice cream in the cafeteria, but the largest survey ever of youthful reading in the United States revealed today that none of J.K. Rowling’s phenomenally popular books has been able to dislodge the works of longtime favorites Dr. Seuss, E.B. White, Judy Blume, S.E. Hinton and Harper Lee as the most read.

Books by the five well-known U.S. authors, plus lesser-known Laura Numeroff, Katherine Paterson and Gary Paulsen, drew the most readers at every grade level in a study of 78.5 million books read by more than 3 million children who logged on to the Renaissance Learning Web site to take quizzes on books they read last year. Many works from Rowling’s Potter series turned up in the top 20, but other authors also ranked high and are likely to get more attention as a result.

“I find it reassuring . . . that students are still reading the classics I read as a child,” said Roy Truby, a senior vice president for Wisconsin-based Renaissance Learning. But Truby said he would have preferred to see more meaty and varied fare, such as “historical novels and biographical works so integral to understanding our past and contemporary books that help us understand our world.”

Michelle F. Bayuk, marketing director for the New York-based Children’s Book Council, agreed. “What’s missing from the list are all the wonderful nonfiction, informational, humorous and novelty books as well as graphic novels that kids read and enjoy both inside and outside the classroom.”

Renaissance Learning’s Accelerated Reader software for monitoring reading progress online was the source of the survey. Twenty-two years ago, Judi Paul invented on her kitchen table a quizzing system to motivate her children to read. With her husband, Terry Paul, she turned it into a big business. Truby, a former executive director of the National Assessment Governing Board, which oversees the leading federal reading test, said the company’s learning programs are used in more than 63,000 U.S. schools.

Students read books, some assigned but many chosen on their own, and then take computer quizzes, either online or with company software, to see whether they understood what they read. Students compile points based on the average sentence length, average word length, word difficulty level and total words in each book, and they sometimes get prizes from their schools. Some critics have questioned giving many more points for a sprawling Tom Clancy thriller than a tightly written classic such as Stephen Crane’s “The Red Badge of Courage,” but many educators and parents have praised the system for motivating children to read.

In response to the survey data, some Washington area English teachers said they were bothered by the relatively few books read by each student, particularly in the upper grades. Seventh-graders averaged 7.1 books in 2007, which steadily declined to 4.5 books for 12th-graders. “I wish more schools did what we do and treated independent reading as vital to the curriculum, especially for boys, who seem to be sharing very few books,” said Lelac Almagor, a seventh-grade teacher at the KIPP DC: AIM Academy, a public charter school in Southeast Washington.

Although some experts thought children needed more reality, the fifth-most-popular book among high school students, “A Child Called ‘It’ ” by Dave Pelzer, was too real for Rachel Sadauskas, who teaches English at Yorktown High School in Arlington County. “The true story is based on a brutal case of child abuse,” she said. “A friend who is a social worker recommended it to me, but I could not finish it because it was so emotionally difficult to read.”

Teachers and book editors were pleased at the resilience of Lee’s 48-year-old novel, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” No. 1 for ninth- through 12th-graders, although Mary Lee Donovan, an executive editor at Candlewick Press in Somerville, Mass., said she thought it owed much of its success to the fact that “teachers make it part of the curriculum.” Rafe Esquith, teacher and author of best-selling books about teaching, makes it required reading in his Los Angeles fifth-grade class. He said he thought older students preferred it to Harry Potter because it fits with their growing realization that “life is not a fairy tale” and because of the moral fiber of its hero, lawyer Atticus Finch.

Yorktown High 11th-grader Ashley Samay said the Lee book “taught me to see things from others’ points of view.” Yorktown 12th-grader Matthew Bloch said, “It speaks to small-town ideals and racism, which are very important topics.”

The survey, at http://www.renlearn.com/whatkidsarereading, breaks down results by gender and section of the country. Overall, Dr. Seuss’s madly rhyming “Green Eggs and Ham” was the most popular first-grade book. Second-graders preferred Numeroff’s “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie,” which Donovan praised for its humorous take on cause and effect. White’s timeless tale of a girl, a pig and a spider, “Charlotte’s Web,” was the third-grade favorite. Blume, not surprisingly, won over fourth-graders with her “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing,” the first of several books about Peter Warren Hatcher and his younger brother, Farley, who prefers to be called “Fudge.”

Fifth-graders read most often Paterson’s story of two children and a magical forest kingdom, “Bridge to Terabithia.” Sixth-graders preferred “Hatchet,” about a boy stranded in the wilderness, by Paulsen, whom Donovan called “Jack London for kids.” The most-read book among seventh- and eighth-graders was “The Outsiders,” a story of rival gangs in Tulsa published in 1967 when its author, Hinton, was 18 years old.

May 9, 2008 Posted by | Books, Character, Community, Cross Cultural, Family Issues, Language, Living Conditions, Words | 6 Comments

Coen and No Country for Old Men

AdventureMan and I watched No Country for Old Men last night, and oh! it held us on the edge of our chairs. At the end, we ran for the phone to call our son and ask “Whoa! What happened??”

In short, we loved the movie (and I can hardly wait to read the book, although Cormac McCarthy goes a lot darker than I care to go). The Coen brothers also go darker than I care to go, but we find ourselves drawn to their movies because there is so much thought put into them, so many references to other genres, other films, and because the characters are so true to life. We first met them in Fargo, a movie we pull out and watch again from year to year – that’s a rare movie. We love the characters, even the bad guys are so human.

It’s the same in No Country for Old Men. Set in the desolation of West Texas, there are whole minutes when you listen to the wind whistling in the desert as the hero hikes down to a drug-exchange-gone-bad.

There is a good guy, a sherif played by craggy-faced Tommy Lee Jones, and an ordinary guy who finds a whole lot of money, and we really want him to get away with it, and then there is a really really bad guy, who is also smart, and . . . well, something inside of him is just bent. He’s not right. The Coen’s have a way of making him both appalling and just a guy doing his job very well. It’s not personal, but we wish he wouldn’t enjoy inflicting harm so much.

What I love about the Coen films is that they can capture the essence of a character so sparely, with just a few words, a few lines. There is a trailer park manager who refuses to give the very very bad guy an address. You hold your breath; she could get blown away, she doesn’t know it. She holds firm. In another scene, an older woman tells a Mexican man who has just helped her “You don’t see too many Mexicans in suits.” So so so politically incorrect, and so ordinarily normal, the plain-spokeness of the elderly. The Coen’s capture the West Texas-ness which permeates the film.

This movie is worth watching again.

May 4, 2008 Posted by | Adventure, Arts & Handicrafts, Bureaucracy, Character, Community, Crime, Cross Cultural, Entertainment, Interconnected, Language, Living Conditions, Poetry/Literature, Relationships | 9 Comments

A Stroke of Luck

I have the most amazing friend. She thinks WAY outside the box. You would never know it to look at her, she looks just like you and me, but when she hands you a book, it turns out to be a book you will never forget. She forwarded me this yesterday, and I happened to get it at a time when I could take 20 minutes of my life to watch it.

This video from TED talks features brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor, who describes having her own stroke, and observing herself, as a scientist, from the inside, as she experiences the stroke. It changed how I see things, in fact, it turned how I see strokes upside-down.

I hope you will take a few minutes to watch:

April 4, 2008 Posted by | Character, Communication, Community, Health Issues, Language | , , , , | 2 Comments

No Whining!

The other day AdventureMan and I happened to be in the same room and the TV happened to be on and a woman on one of the morning shows (shown in the afternoon in Kuwait) was talking about how to make your kids stop whining.

“I don’t remember (our son) ever whining,” I said, “do you remember him whining?”

“When he was very little, sometimes he would get fussy,” AdventureMan replied.

“Yeh, but fussy is different, when you are little and overtired, or have an ear infection or are hungry – even we get fussy!” I laughed.

I do remember a few awful times when, after standing in a long line in the military commissary on a payday I finally got to the checkout stand just as my son was totally losing it, having to get a month’s worth of groceries paid for and packed while he was screaming bloody murder and the groceries are being packed and people are looking at me like I am a criminal because I can’t feed him there in front of everyone. As soon as I could get him to the car, I could nurse him, but meanwhile, I was hostage to his relentless desparate wailing. Is their any sound as compelling as a wailing baby?

But that is to be expected when you have a baby; babies sometimes have to wail.

But whining?

I was lucky, I was able to be a stay-at-home mom when my son was little. We spent a lot of time together. I could usually distract him, I could usually put him down for a nap if he was tired, I could usually schedule myself to be around to feed him when he needed feeding. I remember ear-infection fussing, and teething fussing, but I don’t remember any whining.

AdventureMan said I wouldn’t put up with whining, not from him, not from our son.

Our son had a lot of expectations on him. AdventureMan was an officer, and we had obligations. (What? You thought only Kuwaitis had expectations and obligations?) Sometimes, when our son would rather be playing, he had to attend an event, or an official function, and he had to behave, because he was his father’s son, and his behavior would reflect on his father. When he would rather be wearing a sweatsuit and trainers, he had to wear dress pants and a dress shirt and tie, and dress shoes. If he complained, I would say “you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it. I don’t like it either!”

I had two tools.

First, as soon as he could talk, I taught him to say “can we negotiate?”

Most of the time, we can find a way to make a bad situation better. Often, he had great suggestions, like “can we go to La Gondola and have a pizza afterwards, and can I invite Michael to go with us?” Whatever gets you through what you don’t want to do, I would think to myself, and agree. Occasionally, but not often, there were non-negotiables, like moves, and then, you just have to grit your teeth and get through it.

Second, I used incentives. Some people might call them bribes, but here is how it worked.

I knew it was in his best interest to get good grades, and that it was my responsibility to help him learn how to get those grades. On the first day of school, I would take him to the toy store and he could pick out what he wanted to work for. We would set goals for each class; we would write down those goals and post them on the refrigerator. At the end of the semester, when those goals were met, he got his prize. The hardest hardest part for me was NOT giving him a prize when the goal was not met, but encouraging him that I know he will get the prize next time. I think it was harder on me NOT giving in than on him, not getting the reward.

My Mother thought I was spoiling him because we would negociate. “You are the mother,” she would say. “You are the boss.”

“Yes, Mom,” I would respond, “but I NEED for him to cooperate. I need for him to feel like he has some choice.” It was just a generational difference.

Now I am getting to see a new generation having their babies. My niece taught her baby basic sign language, and continues to teach him more as time goes on. Even pre-verbal, he has ways of telling her he is hungry, thirsty, wants to be picked up, etc. What an amazing and wonderful idea, what control it gives a baby to be able to express these basic desires, to communicate needs and wants. I am in awe of these young mothers and the care with which they are raising their babies.

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Kuwait is blessed to have a blog written by young mothers for other young mothers, full of great ideas. Many of the ideas I THINK are great, but because some are written in Arabic, and my vocabulary and grammar are not that strong, i can’t really read them. That blog is Organic Kuwait; they even have books published for children explaining Ramadan and Hajj in age-appropriate language. Makes me wish I were a young mother again! 🙂

March 31, 2008 Posted by | Arts & Handicrafts, Biography, Character, Communication, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Generational, Language, Shopping | , , , , | 5 Comments

Ordered to Learn English

This is from BBC News: Americas. If I were living in the USA, I might think that is a good thing. Living here in Kuwait, speaking some Arabic, pretty laughably, I shudder to think what could happen here. . .. guess I’ll have to stay out of the Kuwait courts, insh’allah.

Judge orders men to learn English

A judge in the US state of Pennsylvania has ordered three Spanish-speaking men to learn English or go to jail.

The trio, who pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit robbery, were told they could remain on parole if they studied English and got full-time jobs.

Judge Peter Olszewski said the unusual sentence was supposed to help the men. They will serve their full jail terms if they fail an English test in a year.

Lawyers for the three said they had not yet decided whether they would appeal.

You can read the rest of the news article HERE.

So I am curious. If you are Kuwaiti, what do you think about the fact that about 50% of your population (the not Kuwaiti part) doesn’t speak Arabic, the native tongue in Kuwait.

If you are an expat, if you had to learn Arabic, would you continue to work here?

March 28, 2008 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Cultural, Kuwait, Language, Living Conditions, News | 21 Comments