Change of Plans
When we were planning this trip, it all sounded so simple . . . greet the grandbaby, buy a house, quick, fly to Seattle, fly back to Pensacola, kiss the grandbaby and fly to Doha to pack.
Not quite the way it turned out. When we got here, the grandbaby was 11 days overdue. We got to be here for the birth. While our son and his wife labored, we went out with the world’s most wonderful real estate lady and actually, we did find a house.
Three years ago, we found a house. When I talked with the mortgage people, I said “We just finished paying off a mortgage with you; isn’t there some kind of short-cut you could do with me?” and they did something called “fast track” with me, and it was so easy I can’t even remember the paperwork; I think I filled it out on my computer – online – and that was it. My son handled the closing. It was so easy.
Things have really changed. This will be our third mortgage with the same company, but you would think we are potential deadbeats. We have high credit scores, an impeccable payment record – I would think they would want to have us as customers! It’s like pulling teeth. Papers don’t get to us. Additional verifications are required. Appraisers actually enter the house and verify square footage.
Between chasing paper and soothing the newborn, my life has been very full. It doesn’t sound very exciting, when I tell you about it, but here is the truth – I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. It’s an amazing feeling.
Today, I spent a lot of time with the baby. At some point, I realized I wasn’t going to make it to Seattle this trip, and it’s OK. I can go to Seattle later. For right now, I have enough on my plate.
I had forgotten, too, how chaotic life with a newborn can be. His needs take precedence, and sometimes we all run around trying to guess what those needs might be, simple as they are . . . clean diaper? swaddling / soothing to sleep? Mother’s milk? Today was a really good day, where he took the diaper changes with grace, dropped right off to sleep after every meal, and was keenly alert for maybe a half hour after feeding before napping. He loves patterns and fabrics. I am having SO MUCH FUN!
A part of our life is ending, the nomadic part. AdventureMan and I have had a lot of fun, once our son got through college and law school, we were on our own again, living in Europe, living in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Qatar – we have had a great adventure. We travelled to Botswana, Namibia, Zambia (several times), South Africa, Kenya, Tanzania and spent a wonderful week on Mnemba Island off the coast of Zanzibar. We have wonderful friends, mostly from churches and interest groups. I would think, knowing us, that we would be sad leaving all this, but instead, we are racing toward our new future, being more settled, being near our son and his family, and his wife’s great big family. 🙂
For one thing, the world has changed. With e-mail and VOIP phones and people who jump on a plane at the drop of a hat, we expect to stay in touch with those we love and treasure. We expect they will come see us. It’s kind of fun settling in a place with white sandy beaches that everyone wants to come visit. 🙂 Cooler than Kuwait and Qatar in the summer time, too! Nice warm winters, well, not this winter, brrrrrrrrrrrr!
Thought you might want to see a photo of my little darling grandson:
Fun Packed Thursday
Who knew?
Who knew when we got up this morning what kind of day we would have? Our sweet daughter in law has been up most of the night with our sweet grandson, who is a little confused about day and night and other things. He was also a little bit jaundiced, so we wanted to take him in to the pediatrician, and at the same time, AdventureMan and I needed to get a H1N1 shot (Swine flu vaccine) which is recommended for all people in contact with precious new little babies.
We were confronted with the worlds “easiest” car seat, and trying to get the base installed. After a couple phone calls (and a rescheduling of our appointment) we got the car seat firmly established, and discovered little Grandson LOVES sleeping in his car seat. Who knew?
Our good friend and realtor lady comes by after lunch to help us write up two contracts – one buying, one selling – and it took hours, with three people in three different phone conversations at one time getting it all glued together.
During all this, our son gets a text message: the government offices in Pensacola will all be closed tomorrow for a SNOW day. A snow day in Pensacola! Pensacola, FLORIDA. LLOOLLLL!
Now, it is late afternoon, AdventureMan is back with little grandson, son and daughter in law are trying to get a little sleep – ah! remember those days of early parenthood? The effects of sleep deprivation?
We feel so blessed to be here at this time, to be able to help our son and his wife.
I was telling my daughter in law about how it works in Qatar, and how it works in some cases still, in Kuwait. When a woman has a baby, her husband takes her to the hospital, but he is not allowed in labor and delivery. If a woman has someone with her, it might be her Mom, or her sisters, or an aunt. She is expected to be very vocal, and the L&D ward is noisy with women vocalizing their “discomfort.”
The baby is born, and all the women’s family and friends visit. A family often brings big tankards of tea and coffee to the hospital, and little cups, to serve to all the visitors. A new mother can entertain, literally, dozens or even hundreds of visitors, because a hospital visit is expected.
When it comes time to go home, the woman and baby go to her parent’s home, where they take care of her and the baby for forty days. The husband visits, and he and his wife can play with the baby but the woman stays in bed most of the time while her family takes care of her and the baby. At the end of the forty days, the wife and baby go back home with her husband.
We agreed, that is a great way of doing things. A new Mother needs a lot of help. A new baby is kind of a shock; you can’t really tell anyone ahead of time what it is like to bring your first baby home.
It’s been a long day – and it isn’t even over.
First Things First
“I have some WONDERFUL news for you!” I gushed to AdventureMan when he picked up the call, “I found a third of the last fruitcake in the refrigerator!” I knew he thought he has finished off the fruit cake and that we didn’t have any more.
Pause. Pause. Pause.
“Hello? Hello? Are you there, AdventureMan.”
AdventureMan comes on, his work-a-day brisk, official self.
“When you start a conversation with ‘I have some wonderful news for you'” he says, “the next words out of your mouth really need to be that I am a grandfather.”
LLLLLLOOOOOLLLLLL.
I can’t make that happen any faster than it is going to happen. Baby grandson is now almost a week overdue, and we are waiting, waiting, waiting for him to show up. This is an eagerly awaited arrival.
I guess he is also happy about the fruitcake, but he really wants a grandson! 🙂
Thank You
At some hour, while I was sleeping, the blog hit 1M hits. Pretty cool, even though it is just a number.
AdventureMan said “how about if I take you out for dinner tonight to celebrate.”
(Thursday night is always date night. We always go out for dinner. He was being funny.)
But he reminded me that I used to thank my readers, and I haven’t done that for a long time.
Most of us who blog, and who continue blogging (it’s the continuing part that is hard work) blog because that’s the way God made us – he created us wanting to share the written word. For me, it’s sort of like thinking out loud, and many times I throw out ideas hoping to get other points of view to help me see things more fully, from more perspectives.
You, my readers, have given me unexpected points of view many, many times, and I thank you. Months after I write an article, you will read it and comment – and I read every comment. Thank you.
Coming soon, AdventureMan and I are starting a whole new adventure. I’m not so sure I am going to continue blogging. I won’t be living in an exotic country; I will be living a more normal American life, as a Grandmama. I know it will fascinate me, but I am not so sure you will find it all that interesting, LOL.
Again, thank you for your support and input these three years of blogging, and for finding me and my ideas and my fascination with current events much more interesting than I find myself. 😉
And, for those of you who always ask, yes, the Qattari Cat will be going with us, and yes, he is till with us (crying right now because AdventureMan has left for work and his heart is broken), I just haven’t taken a lot of photos lately because mostly he sleeps, and he looks pretty much the same.
‘Glimmer of Hope’ in Doha Abduction Case
‘Glimmer of hope’ in custody battle
From the Qatar Gulf Times
British mother Rebecca Jones has described the decision by a Qatari judge to bring her son to court as a “glimmer of hope” in her ongoing battle to regain custody of Adam, saying that the judge’s decision that the boy’s attendance is necessary feels like her first victory in the case.
“I’m thrilled that Adam will be given the opportunity to tell the court how he wants to come home to his Mummy, Daddy and little sister, and that the court will have the chance to see how he is suffering,” she told Gulf Times yesterday.
Jones, who claimed that her son was kidnapped when she was “tricked” into visiting the country in October last year, is particularly worried about the mental and physical state of her son, saying that he had been ill in recent weeks because of the stress surrounding the current situation.
However, the most recent ruling in the case has given her some hope that she may be reunited with him on a permanent basis in the not too distant future.
Earlier this week a judge ruled that Jones’ appeal will be held on February 11, and that both Adam and his 77-year-old grandmother who was originally awarded custody of him, should attend the court hearing.
Jones is also fighting a court case to increase her visitation rights with her son, something that will be decided on February 3.
She is hoping to be awarded more time with Adam, as well as the ability to spend time with him outside of the house in which he is currently living.
“He seems to be ill because of stress and has been physically sick recently,” she claimed, adding “he is very upset and very nervous on each visit – the second I walk through the door he asks me when he can come home.”
Another major concern for Jones is the educational aspect of her son’s life as it will shortly be the fifth month that he has gone without attending school.
But for now, Jones is just looking forward to the court hearing in which her son will finally be given a voice. “I truly believe that the court will do the right thing,” she added.
100 Lashes Each for Illicit Relationships in Qatar
COURT ROUNDUP
100 lashes for illicit relations
By Nour Abuzant in today’s Gulf Times
Two Asians – a man and a woman – have been sentenced to 100 lashes each and subsequent deportation for maintaining illicit relations.
The father of the woman told the interrogators that he saw his 21-year-old daughter leaving the house in the morning of April 15, 2009 and boarding the car of her 26-year old lover.
The father also said he opposed their marriage and that he had planned his daughter’s marriage with another compatriot man.
The Doha court of first instance heard that the father found three mobile phones, belonging to her lover, in his daughter’s possession.
The accused Pakistani nationals confessed in the court that they were in love. The court said that the 100-lash penalty came in line with the Sharia rules, as both the accused were Muslims and unmarried.
That’s some angry father – turning in his own daughter to be jailed, humiliated in court and then subjected to the additional humiliation and pain of 100 lashes. Cannot imagine what that will do to her marriage prospects “with another compatriot man.”
Some people ask why I run these articles about expats. The truth, as I see it, is that any one of us who is not Qatari falls under these laws. We are ALL expats. The laws can be applied to any one of us at any time.
For Every Husband whose Wife has ever asked . . .
“Does this dress make my butt look big?”
The answer, the ONLY answer, is always “No, honey, you look wonderful, as always.”
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Qatar Divorce Rate 12th Highest in the World
Today’s story in The Peninsula examines the increasing number of divorces this year, in relation to the number of marriages.
Not a single expert quoted mentions that perhaps many of these marriages were bad alliances in the first place. One expert continually mentions the problem being women having greater access to divorce.
It is no surprise that women who have access to divorce get out of bad marriages.
She is supposed to stay with a man addicted to pornography?
With a man who cannot complete the sexual act?
With a man with a drug problem?
With a man who is openly gay, and she is to provide cover?
With a man who has a fatal sexually transmitted disease which he neglected to disclose?
With a man who is still emotionally attached to his long-time girlfriend and was forced to marry another woman?
With a man who hits her?
With a man who ignores her and goes off with his friends all the time in preference to spending time with her? (Yes, expectations for marriage are higher now than they used to be. Times change. Expectatons change.)
(These are all stories told to me by local women about failed marriages.)
I’m not a big fan of divorce. I think marriage is serious business, and a lot of hard work. And I strongly believe that women need to have the exact same access to divorce that men have. I don’t see any of the experts citing male behavior as a possible cause of this divorce rate.
Divorce rate to reach new high this year
Web posted at: 12/30/2009 5:38:55
Source ::: The Peninsula / BY SATISH KANADY
DOHA: Qatar’s divorce rate is steadily going up. Crossing last year’s figure of 939 divorces, a total of 982 couples split in the country during the first 11 months of this year.
Going by the latest data released by the Qatar Statistics Authority (QSA), more than 80 divorces take place every month in the country. The 2009 figure is expected to cross the 1,000 mark once the figures for December come in.
According to the QSA, of the 982 divorce cases this year, 655 involved Qatari women. The number of non-Qatari women who split with their spouse during the period was 327.
The months of April, May and June witnessed a large number of divorces. While 127 women got divorced during the month of May, 107 and 101 women got divorced in June and April, respectively.
It may be noted that a recent international study identified Qatar as the country with the 12th highest divorce rate in the world. The country has 0.97 divorces per thousand people, it said.
The total number of divorces in the country in 1999 was 496. However, the number has grown steadily over the past decade and touched 997 in 2007, with a total of 721 Qataris and 276 non-Qataris getting estranged. Though the rate went down in 2008 (939), this year’s figures are expected to break the 2007 record.
The QSA’s figures are disturbing against the backdrop of the fact that the total number of marriages held this year in Qatar until November 2009 was 2,917, against which the number of divorces was 982.
Against the 266 marriages that took place last month, 90 couples got divorced. Of them, 57 included Qatari women. In the month of May, which witnessed the largest number of divorces — 127 — the number of marriages was 323.
Opinions are divided among Qatari social scientists on the data revealed by the QSA. While a section of them sees the divorces as a direct consequence of Qatar’s “culture shock”, others say QSA’s methodology in collecting the data is not foolproof and the figures do not seem realistic.
“The data collected from the courts need not necessarily reflect the exact divorce rate in Qatar. For, there are a large number of cases where the couples re-join after obtaining a divorce from the court”, said a Qatari woman scholar who is doing research on Qatar’s broken families and divorces.
However, Moza Al Malki, a prominent Qatari psychologist, said: “Qatari women’s exposure to the changing world and their growing self-reliant nature are the prime reasons for this social problem.”
Al Kula, a system that encourages women to approach a court if they are not comfortable with their partner, is also contributing to the growing number of divorces, she added.
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