How To Be a Southern Lady
You’d think moving back to your own country would be a piece of cake, wouldn’t you? We nomads know better. Young people who travel to other countries to go to school know better. Military people know better. Missionaries know better. Diplomats know better. Anyone who has spent time living abroad know that it works both ways – you have an impact where you are living, and where you are living has an equal impact on you. You may go back, but you are never the same.
With this move, AdventureMan and I have been too busy trying to get settled and to take care of the incredible amount of bureaucratic detail it takes to relocate. Even with AdventureMan ‘retired’, the days are flying by, and we don’t know why we are so busy.
For one thing, I am doing my own housework, and I am finding I am not very good at it. Like I am good at getting laundry done, and even folded, but I haven’t ironed in a long time, and the things that need ironing are stacking up. I have bought a beautiful new ironing board, and a beautiful iron . . . and some starch, the liquid kind I like, not the spray kind. . . but I haven’t set it up, and I haven’t ironed, not a thing. I have discovered that all my packed things looked a lot better after hanging in the closets for a week, most of the wrinkles fell out, lucky me. But . . . the day of reckoning is coming.
The worst part, for me, is cleaning my floors. My floors are supposed to be beautiful; wood and tile floors. They actually ARE beautiful, maybe two days a week, the day I clean them and the next day, but five days a week, they need work. I wish I had asked my cleaning lady in Doha how she got my floors so beautifully clean. I wish I had paid more attention. I keep looking in the store for some miracle, a machine that will clean them in a heartbeat and make them all shiny. . .
The wonderful thing about moving into this culture – and it truly is a different culture from the one in which I was raised – is that we have our wonderful son and his wonderful wife to give us hints on what to do and not to do, and we have his wife’s wonderful family.
Mostly, I try to keep my eyes open. Southern women admire things extravagantly, and after living for so many years in the Middle East and Gulf, learning to admire extravagantly goes against all my instincts.
In the MIddle East, when you admire extravagantly, you can make people nervous. Some people worry about attracting “the evil eye” of jealousy, evil intentions, people who envy you and wish you harm. Some people, if you admire something, will give it to you! It’s true, those stories, it has happened to me. So now I have to un-learn my lessons in retraint and learn to appreciate, if not extravagantly, at least enough to be polite.
One of my wife’s relatives gave us a house-warming gift, an iced-tea maker, with a darling card that states Rule #1 is that every Southern Hostess knows that a pitcher of iced tea is a MUST for all occasions. I like iced tea, but I have never kept it on hand to serve, and I guess I need to start!
Her second rule was one that made me burst out laughing – “A Southern Lady, the most interesting ones anyway, know that rules are made to be broken.”
“Just be prepared for people to leave your home saying “Bless her heart, she must be getting forgetful. There was no iced tea!”
And then rule #3 – “The only correct and acceptable way to criticize anyone is to add ‘bless his/her heart!’ and then, anything goes!”
At a party at her house this weekend, I learned a couple more – the first rule being that when you are invited to a great big family dinner, bring dessert! Thank God, I did take a little guest gift, but now I know – bring dessert! And it had better be sweet!
The next rule is would make any Kuwaiti or Qattari feel right at home – spare nothing in making our guests comfortable. This Southern Hostess had seating areas inside the beautiful air conditioned home, and also seating outside for those who don’t mind a little heat. She had a big basket loaded with all kinds of insect repellents to keep her guests from being bitten. She took time with each guest, and although she was running her little bottom off getting everything organized, she made it all look easy, and as if she was having a good time. I have a sneaking suspicion the truly was enjoying having all the people around and that her great big heart loves taking care of the crowd. She was the essence of gracious hospitality. Did I mention she has also lived in Kuwait?
Dinner was “Perlow” an old Southern tradition, made in a huge old kettle from her husband’s mother, and hung from a tripod over a roaring fire to cook. The actual cooking was the men’s work as they sat outside drinking iced tea:
Home grown peas and beans mix – delicious!
Serving up the perlow:
My Middle East / Gulf friends would be comfortable eating this meal – Perlow is a variation of Pilaf, and very similar to Biryani. No alcohol served. No pork. Lots and lots of fabulous sweet desserts.
It’s funny, I used to tell people in Kuwait and Qatar that it was a lot like Alaska; when the weather got too bad, you just stay inside most of the time. When the weather gets good, you go outside as much as you can. When it’s too hot/cold, you run from your air conditioned/heated car to your air conditioned / heated store or movie theater, or restaurant, and then back to your air conditioned / heated car and back to your air conditioned/ heated house.
In the same way, I am beginning to wonder if the South and the Middle East know how much they have in common? In Pensacola, on Saturdays, we have the religious people on the corners shouting at passing cars, not a whole lot different from the volunteer morality police in Saudi Arabia. In the South, as in the Middle East, ‘family’ isn’t just blood, it’s also who you’re married into, and there is a lot of emphasis on family getting together and spending time together. In the South, as in the Middle East, men tend to gather in one area, women in another.
In the South, they drink iced tea; in the Middle East, it’s hot tea. Both have passionate patriots, fundamental believers and a tradition of gracious hospitality. Both have a passion for hunting and fishing. Nobody much likes obeying the rules in either culture. Maybe I’m still in the MIddle East?
For Our Convenience
For our convenience, KLM has introduced a new ‘simplified’ baggage policy:
Joining their Flying Blue Elite program is free. It only makes sense, join up and get that extra bag at no charge, at least not in the Europe / Middle East countries.
As little respect as I have for KLM customer service – most of their people manning the transit desks in Amsterdam specialize in saying ‘no’ with a sneer – they are EXCELLENT for traveling with pets. If you are traveling business class or if you have a gold card that gets you into the lounges, you can shower between flights and have a decent cup of coffee. It’s worth the trouble to get the card.
Car Seat Base
My new little Sand colored Rav4 is a workhorse! I lug groceries, furniture, boxes, bedding plants and soil, huge pots, and even bookcases, with just a flip of a lever, the middle seats fold down and I have a long flat bed to carry longer items.
The accessory I like the best doesn’t come with the Rav4. I had to buy it separately. It is a Chicco car seat base, so that I can load and lock my little grandson in my car when we need to pick him up or take him somewhere. 🙂 We had our first trial run taking him to lunch at the Jordan Valley Restaurant in downtown Pensacola, where they had decent baba ghannoush and hummus, bland olives, and felafel – but it isn’t the Beirut. 😦
There are camels on the wall. There are some fabulous cushions. They have some gyros platters and I had a chicken shish taouk . . . it isn’t the Gulf, or – it isn’t the Arabian Gulf – but I am thankful there is one place in town that has felafel and tabbouli. 😉
The good news is, baby Q slept the whole time. 🙂
Clean Carpets
If you are parking in the parking lot on the upside of the long restaurant street, near the Beirut, near Dhow roundabout, and you look at the souks, there is a whole area down on the left that is being developed. There is a large interior souk with abayas and scarves, for example, and a man with the model tents that they will make for you.
There was also, recently, a man cleaning a carpet. I was fascinated. We have carpets. They need cleaning. I have seen carpets cleaned at car washed, and hung on racks to dry. It does not seem to me that people wash these carpets with enormous care, they just wash the carpets.
I would rather like to wash some of our carpets. This man gave me an idea how to do it – gentle detergent in a bucket, a gentle brush, like a dishwashing brush – and the carpet is flat on the ground. I can do this!
Americans Sing for the Liberation of Kuwait
My sweet Kuwait friend sent me this today. It made me cry.
We all have memories of the invasion. I remember it well. We had just moved to Tampa, AdventureMan was working with CENTCOM. He had just brought his very old grandmother to visit with us, and the next day, Iraq invaded, and his grandmother and I didn’t see him again!
We have had a long history with Kuwait, longer than our time living there. Kuwait matters to us. This song makes me cry; the effects of this invasion linger on, resonating and affecting so many lives:
From Kuwait MOI
One reader was asking about where to go online to pay his Kuwait traffic violations. While looking it up (Google “Kuwait Government Traffic Violations Website”) I found this essay on Equality Before the Law in Kuwait:
Lt. Gen. Al-Rejaib: His Highness the Amir stresses on applying the law on everyone
The Interior Undersecretary Lt. Gen. Ahmad Abdullatif Al-Rejaib affirmed on embedding the principle of reward and punish with applying it, where is no place in the Interior Ministry for slackers or neglegants or lacker individuals.
He stressed importance on respecting the authority of the security man after it had been affected for some reasons, affirming on the need of restoring mutual respect between the security man and citizens as well as residents.
Lt. Gen. Al-Rejaib cleared out thoughout his meeting which was featured with honesty and transparency on Wednesday morning 3/2/2010 attended by the Interior Assistant Undersecretary for General Security Affairs, Maj. Gen. KHalil Al-Shamali, leaders and officers of the General Security sector, that the supreme directives of His Highness the Amir, the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces Sheikh Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah, is to apply law on everyone and no one is above it no matter how high this person is.
Lt. Gen. Al-Rejaib urged the leaders and officers of the General Security sector to follow up on all the works that are assigned to them as well as the tasks entrusted on them with honesty and transparency so justice prevails among everyone and for homeland residents to live in comfort, secure and safety. He demanded to honor the hardworker as soon as he accomplished any such achievements so it would be a motivation and an incentive for others to do work accurately.
At the beginning of the meeting in where it was took place at First Lt. Gen. Yousef Al-Khurafi Hall, Lt. Gen. Al-Rejaib welcomed his brothers and sons leaders and officers of the General Security sector, and conveyed to them the greetings of H.E. the Interior Minister Staff Lt. Gen. (ret.) Sheikh Jaber Al-Khaled Al-Sabah and his good wishes for them for success and to exert to give more efforts.
This meeting comes for the sake of discussing many of the issues concerning about security direcotorates and police stations, emphysizing the importance of police station as it is the first point for citizen and resident to turn to and the first security venue known by the Kuwaiti society, he added.
He affirmed that police station was a safeguard for every citizen and resident and a source of fear for any such violators or outlaws; pointed out that the Ministry of Interior has restored the authority of police stations two years ago.
There are bright sides represented by outstanding distinguished efforts done by area leaders, police stations chiefs as well as their officers but in the other hand, there are few who don’t perform their duty in full, and this is not allowed for any case, he added.
Lt. Gen. Al-Rejaib warned on the sluggard individuals who will receive a proper punishment, whereas the sincere and hard work individuals will receive the most appreciable rewards. He stressed importance to reject any such favoritism or mediation or a compliment, and such matters should be dealt with strictness and be terminated.
The Lt. Gen. called on good work organization in police stations, mentioning that the Ministry of Interior is putting all possible support and resources from officers, constables and police patrols, and to such reasons police stations officers should be present in their posting duties.
The leaders of the General Security sector, on top of them Maj. Gen. Khalil Al-Shamali have to be in presence in their places day and night; therefore, it is not exceptable at all that high leaders are in presence at their posts and no police stations officers existed at their assigned locations, he pointed out.
He stressed out that evaluating leaders and officers work stemmed from their performing their duties on combating crime and running after outlaws and out system, and there are not such other way around.
Lt. Gen. Al-Rejaib requested leaders and officers of the General Security sector to work as always do and promised for the sake of Kuwait and its people who deserved to be given all such exerted efforts.
He called on police stations chiefs and their officers to identify the area nature where they work at in terms of its demographic structure, its foremost economical activities and its existent educational and banking facilities, affirming that such information are essential to be awared about by the police station officers.
The security work is an honorable task and an obligatory on us to hold responsibilities, working as a one team and any such achievements accomplished are due to fruitful cooperation and continuous coordination, and self-denial is a trait we should characterized by for the sake of homeland security, he noted out.
The Interior Undersecretary Lt. Gen. Ahmad Abdullatif Al-Rejaib concluded by expressing his hope that the leaders and officers of the General Security sector to be as always as they promised us of being discipline, committed with high duty performance; pointed out that this meeting is a beginning of a series of upcoming meetings with different security sectors.
In Pensacola, people ask me if I wasn’t scared living in Kuwait and Qatar. Safe? I feel safer in Qatar and Kuwait than in Pensacola! And that is what I tell them!
Gulf Women Twice as Likely as Men to Die of Heart Attack
Women face greater risk of heart attack deaths: study
You can read this entire article in today’s Gulf Times by clicking on this blue type
Women throughout the Gulf are almost twice as likely to die in hospital after a heart attack, as male patients, a new regional study published by the American Journal of Cardiology has revealed.
The research involved looking at the death rate of 8,166 males and females hospitalised in 2009 for acute coronary syndrome (ACS) – which includes heart attack and unstable angina.
It was found that female patients who suffered ACS were 1.75 times more likely to die while in hospital than males with the same condition.
Delayed diagnosis of ACS in women, and failure to prescribe the correct cardiovascular medications, and not carrying out the necessary interventions after the event, were behind the increase in the death rate.
The research project was called the Gulf Registry for Acute Coronary Events (Gulf RACE) and the study was titled Comparison of Men and Women with Acute Coronary Syndrome in Six Middle Eastern Countries, 2009.
Arab Gulf? Persian Gulf? Games Cancelled
Islamic Solidarity Games cancelled over Gulf dispute
From BBC News
The first Islamic Solidarity Games were held in Jeddah in 2005
The Islamic Solidarity Games, due to be held in Iran in April, have been called off because of a dispute with Arab countries over what to call the Gulf.
The games federation in Saudi Arabia said the Iranian organisers had failed to address its concerns, particularly about the planned logo and medals.
These bear the words “Persian Gulf”, but Arab countries, who call it the Arabian Gulf, reject the term.
The games had been postponed in October in the hope of striking a deal.
The Islamic Solidarity Sports Federation (ISSF) in Riyadh said, after an emergency board meeting, Iran’s local organising committee “unilaterally took some decisions without asking the federation by writing some slogans on the medals and pamphlets of the games”.
Iran “did not abide by the rules of the Islamic Solidarity Sports Federation” and “did not follow the decisions taken by the general assembly of the federation at a previous meeting in Riyadh”, it said in a statement.
But Iran’s committee for the games disputed the decision.
“In spite of convincing arguments made to the ISSF executive committee, regrettably and without presenting any logical reasons, the ISSF committee decided not to hold the games with Iran as the host,” it said.
The games – which are meant to strengthen ties among Islamic countries – were first held in the Saudi city of Jeddah in 2005.
Iran has campaigned to ensure the body of water between Iran and the Arabian peninsula is known as the Persian, not the Arabian, Gulf.
Doha Trade Fair Opens
I love these fairs – there are vendors from all over. One year, I bought bought fabrics from the Sudan and from Senegal – fabulous things I would never find anywhere else. It’s like a shopping trip around the world. 🙂
Huge turnout at Doha Fair
From today’s Gulf Times
Ahmed al-Nuami inaugurates the Doha Trade Fair 2010 at Doha Exhibition Centre yesterday
The eight-day Doha Trade Fair 2010 got off to a great start yesterday at the Doha Exhibition Centre in the presence of a large number of people.
The fair, organised by the Qatar Tourism and Exhibition Authority in association with Qatar Expo, has attracted more than 600 exhibitors from about 20 countries.
More than 15,000 square metres at the exhibition venue has been occupied by the exhibitors.
Bumper prizes and opportunities for bargains on an array of goods beckon visitors.
Products being sold at the venue include carpets, clothes, cosmetics, textiles, lighting accessories and brassware and handicrafts from many Asian, African, European and Middle East countries.
According to Qatar Expo, QR5mn worth of goods is expected to be sold at the fair in the next seven days.
“With 685 exhibitors this time, the fair is growing at an enormous pace every year. The event is expected to turn Doha into a top business destination of the whole of the Middle East,” an official of the organising company said. He also expressed confidence that there would be more participants at the fair next year.
Qatar Tourism and Exhibition Authority chairman Ahmed al-Nuaimi inaugurated the fair. Diplomats of a number of missions and senior Qatari community members attended the opening ceremony.
The fair timings are between 10am to 1pm and 4pm and 11pm. The event will conclude on January 24.
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