Here There and Everywhere

Expat wanderer

MOC Bans Porno Film Sites

Today’s Kuwait Times:

Internet Porno Film Sites
The Ministry of Communication has closed down all new sites that advertise pornographic films. The ministry of Communication represented by Undersecretary Eng. Abdulaziz Al-Osaimi and his counterpart at the Ministry of Information achieved this new step. This move was done in order to have control over the sites, which are being followed by the Ministry of Information. Al-Osaimi has assigned administration director Nassar Al-Kandari to work on closing those sites from the Internet and ensuring that companies do not use other systems to re-open it. The ministry succeeded in coordinating with local internet companies to close all porno sites, but lately the ministry realized that there are new sites marketing through drama films to porno films.

My comments:

I truly hate porn. I hate it because it creates a fantasy world that real women can barely compete with. I bet if men spent half the time and attention on their wives and families that they spend on porn, there wouldn’t be so much divorce. And guys – those women are PAID. They’re ACTING. Most of them would rather be doing anything but what they are doing, but they do it for the MONEY. It’s about as real as the World Wide Wrestling Federation Matches, it’s all staging and airbrushing and making money off YOUR fantasies.

Rant over – reality strikes. How do you ban pornography?

First, how do you define pornography? When I was a student in political science, we spent a week of class time trying to come up with a definition that everyone could buy into. We never succeeded.

There is some pretty powerful erotic literature, erotic art out there, stuff I don’t find pornographic in the least. So what are the guidelines?

Second, WHO defines pornography?

Third, how on earth will the Ministry of Communication and the Ministry of Information keep up with all the new porn sites that keep popping up? These sites make people a LOT of money, they have the money to pay ingenious high tech guys to keep devising new ways to get their product to market.

And last, who is the poor porno-guy who has to watch all this garbage and enforce the ban?

And – is your internet phone still working? 😉

May 5, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Community, Cultural, Customer Service, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Middle East, News, Poetry/Literature, Political Issues, Rants, Relationships, Social Issues, Spiritual, Technical Issue, Women's Issues | 10 Comments

Sparkle Plenty Jumps In

Sparkle Plenty has always loved good jewelry. She is on first name terms with the major jeweler in our home town, and they always grin when she walks in. Her blogging name is well chosen!
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She is my sister, although almost of another generation. She is the youngest aunt, the “fun” aunt. Everyone likes hanging around Sparkle Plenty’s house – and all the cousins gather there around the pool – or the pool table. Sparkle Plenty and her husband have all the fun toys, the fun gatherings and her house is full of laughter.

Her house is also full of pets. She and her husband, Mariner Man, have a soft spot for anything lost or injured or abandoned. One by one, they have gathered a menagerie of cats, dogs and birds who are all grateful not to be out on the streets. They take the ones who limp, the ones no-one else wants. Sparkle Plenty and Mariner Man are all about heart.

After a couple months of commenting, now she had jumped in to the blogging party, and her theme, Flashes of Light that catch the eye, the mind and the heart is perfectly expressive of her goodness and her compassion and her yearning to be a force for good in the universe. Welcome Sparkle Plenty, and may the force of good be with you!

Please visit Sparkle Plenty and welcome her to our virtual community.

May 4, 2007 Posted by | Adventure, Blogging, Books, Communication, Community, Family Issues, Friends & Friendship, Generational, Living Conditions, Relationships, Seattle, Social Issues | 4 Comments

Readings for Today

You will notice to the right, in my Blogroll, is an entry for The Lectionary. The Lectionary readings are scheduled so that every three years you read completely through the Bible. Actually, my sect, which is Episcopalian (the American version of Anglican, although the two have been closer at some times than others) shares the same readings with many other Christians, we also have some books/chapters in our Bible that most of the main-line Protestant bibles don’t have.

Today’s gospel reading is one of the hardest ones. You look at it and you read it and it SOUNDS so simple:

Luke 6:27-38

27 ‘But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
29If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt.
30Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again.
31Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 ‘If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
33If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
34If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return.* Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

37 ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven;
38give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.’

There is nothing easy about loving your enemy. One priest, as I was anguishing through this passage, told me “You don’t have to LIKE them, but you MUST love them.” That helped, but still, loving your enemy is probably the hardest thing on earth to do. And “Do not judge”????? Holy smokes, we judge one another on a daily basis, and usually not to their credit.

Give, even if you think the begger may be lying?

And then, the hardest one of all – “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” So like, if I don’t forgive . . . I don’t get forgiveness? Like I have to give up my grudges, the chip on my shoulder? I have to forgive the unforgivable, the personal insults, the slights, the jerk who cuts me off on the road? I have to forgive my neighbor? I have to forgive my friend? My husband? George Bush? Osama bin Laden? I have to forgive to receive forgiveness??

But, at the last, the reward – that no matter how hard it is, if you follow these rules, abundant life will be poured in your lap.

You can follow the daily readings by clicking on the Lectionary, in the blogroll, and scrolling down to the current week. Click on the week and it will take you to the daily readings, which include the Psalms, the Old Testament, the New Testament and the Gospel. The reading above, from Luke, is today’s Gospel reading.

May 2, 2007 Posted by | Blogroll, Cultural, Family Issues, Random Musings, Relationships, Social Issues, Spiritual | 4 Comments

A Beautiful Apology

Gere apologises over Shetty kiss

The kiss:
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Actor Richard Gere has apologised for causing offence when he kissed Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty.

The incident, at an Aids awareness event in Delhi, prompted public protests and then an arrest warrant for both stars over the “obscene act”.

Gere, 57, said he had misread Indian customs and that he regretted any problems he had caused Shetty.

You can read the whole story here, at BBC News.

I am guessing both Gere and Shetty got a lot of mileage out of the storm of publicity from his onstage behavior, and now he has graciously and sincerely apologized. Pardon my cynicism, but he has been in India before, I would think he would have been more sensitive.

Nonetheless, he made a beautiful apology. And I wonder why politicians don’t do the same? Why, when you realize you have stepped on someone’s toes, don’t you just make a full and gracious apology? No, it doesn’t change what has happened, but it can sometimes calm the troubled waters.

What if the Danish papers had made a full and gracious apology for publishing the cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed? It would not have changed the fact that they had been published, but it would not have hurt to acknowledge that they had hurt the sensitivities of a large portion of the world, and to apologize for the offence.

April 28, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Community, Cross Cultural, Language, Locard Exchange Principal, News, Political Issues, Relationships, Social Issues, Spiritual, Words | 7 Comments

“Make This Case Go Away”

This is from today’s Kuwait Times.

MP Intervenes to save rapists
by Hanan Al-Saadoun

Kuwait: Two men accused of kidnap, rape and assault were let off the hook after pressure from a lawmaker and a senior police officer. A captain from the Traffic Department was on duty in Khaitan when he saw a parked car with an Asian maid in it and a man standing next to the car. The maid suddenly pointed to the officer and cried for help, so the captain rushed to the car and found another man inside with the maid.

The captain asked the man outside what the problem was. The main replied that this was a runaway maid and he was a detective. The captain asked for his ID but the man refused. The captain then realized that the man smelled of alcohol.

The men suddenly assaulted the captain and bit his hand, injuring him severely (emphasis added by blogger.) After the captain subdued both men, they confessed that they were drunk and that they had tried to rape the maid. The captain then tried to file a case at the Khaitan police station against the two men, but the MP intervened and tried to stop the captain from registering the case. The captain persisted and kept pushing to file a case for a week, until his superior intervened too and told him to “forget the incident.”

My comment: If I ever stop getting outraged when I read reports like this, God forbid, I will be dead.

First, the maid’s life is seriously damaged. Any victim can tell you that the terror of abduction, with or without rape, resonates through your life. When you are in a situation where you have no power, and are at the mercy of someone stronger or more powerful than you are, it is a life-changing event. And would her sponsor accept her back, even though it were no fault of her own? Would they not be afraid she might be diseased? They might even accuse her of inviting the assault – and this was an assault.

Second, these young men lied to the police, impersonated a police officer, resisted arrest and caused bodily harm to a senior police official. Did you notice – THEY CONFESSED.

Third, the police captain had the guts and integrity to persue filing this case against these wicked young men, inspite of pressures from above. WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO on you, brave one, for your integrity.

Last, kudos for Hanan al-Sadoun who does such a great job presenting so many of these outrageous stories in an objective manner, letting us fill in the details and express our outrage in our blogs. Brava, habeebti.

Evidently this air tight case will never get to court.

And what have these young men learned about accountability? That their name and wasta will make their despicable actions go away? What is the fitting punishment for what they have done? C’mon readers, check in on this one.

OK, OK, I’ll take a deep breath and stop now.

April 25, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Community, Crime, Cross Cultural, Customer Service, Detective/Mystery, Family Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Mating Behavior, Middle East, News, Rants, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 18 Comments

Senior Citizens in Kuwait Taking Hospital Beds?

Tacked on to another article in yesterday’s Kuwait Times was this tiny bit of news, with much larger social implications:

“In other news, sources revealed that senior citizens have changed the rooms of public hospitals into old aged homes due to the low fees that are imposed on reserving a room at the hospital.

The rooms at public hospitals are worth KD 1 per day, and if the patient stays for two months, then he will pay only 500 fils per day.

Effective measures must be adopted by the Ministry of Health such as giving a determined time for each patient in order to enable hospitals to receive other patients.”

In a related article several months ago, a article in the same newspaper said that the hospitals were overrun with old people because people couldn’t take care of them at home, and it was much less shameful to say “my Mother is in the hospital” than to say “my mother is in a home for old people.”

It sounds to me like the solution is for the Kuwait government to open a state of the art “hospital” specializing in Gerontology, which in reality would be a retirement center for people unable to take care of their own physical needs, and whose families cannot meet their needs (believe me, after my father’s lengthy and debilitating illness, I know there is only so much a family can do), and they can still say that their parent(s) are in a hospital.

It would meet the need of “hospitalization,” would provide the older people with the intensive and personal services that they need, and would free the beds in traditional hospitals for the seriously ill and damaged citizens.

It’s only words.

April 23, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Communication, Community, Cross Cultural, Customer Service, Experiment, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Generational, Health Issues, Hygiene, Kuwait, Living Conditions, News, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues, Words | 9 Comments

Kuwait conference calls for document on women rights

In yesterday’s Kuwait Times, there was a tiny paragraph in the reporting about Personal Law in Kuwait pertaining to women that stated

“Among the loopholes of that must be corrected is the provision empowering a woman’s father to marry her to whoever he likes or divorce her without consulting or even informing her . . . “

Is this possible? Does this still happen? I thought in Islam, a woman had to agree to accept a man as husband, and had a right to have clauses put into her marriage contract? And a father can have his daughter divorced from her husband without her even knowing about it, much less agreeing to it?

Here is today’s reporting from the Kuwait Times on the recommendations for legal changes:

KUWAIT: Participants in the Conference on the “Kuwaiti Women in National Legislations” have recommended the preparation of a comprehensive national document to facilitate women participation in the country’s development aspects under the sponsorship of the legislative and executive authorities as well as the civic society institutions.

At the conclusion of the one-day conference, organised by the National Assembly’s women affairs committee, the participants demanded improvement of legislative performance, promotion of the existing legislations and completion of the legal system in an introduction for the rise of women’s rights in the society.

To read the rest of the article, with the recommendations made by the committee, click on Kuwait Times, here.

April 23, 2007 Posted by | Bureaucracy, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Marriage, Middle East, News, Political Issues, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 8 Comments

India’s dangerous secret sex lives

In a BBC article by Linda Pressly, we learn that India has the largest HIV case-load in the world with an estimated 5.7 million people living with the virus. And that women are at highest risk of getting the HIV virus – from their husbands.

More people are living with HIV in India than anywhere else but activists in Gujarat say that until sexual diversity is accepted, prevention may be impossible.

In India’s conservative society sex lives are kept very secret

“Just as other people live their lives, my husband and I maintain our normal family life, even though he has boyfriends.”

Gita was relating some of the most intimate details of her marriage.

“We look after each other, so that’s why I don’t have a problem with his homosexuality,” she said.

“At first I was shocked because I didn’t know anything about it. But I discovered that homosexuality is completely natural in some people, so I’m OK with it.

“I never thought it would create any problems for me.”

Gita’s husband Vijay, has been having sexual relationships with men ever since they got married.

You can read the rest of this fascinating article here.

April 21, 2007 Posted by | Community, Cross Cultural, Family Issues, Health Issues, Living Conditions, Marriage, Mating Behavior, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 4 Comments

“It’s All YOUR Fault”

The manifesto received by NBC from Virginia Tech killer Cho Seung-Hui says “it’s all your fault” and “You made me do this!”

Has anyone ever said that to you? It is the most chilling experience. People who say things like that are so self-centered and so self-absorbed that they can see the world only in terms of how it effects them, and believe that all things are directed toward them. You can’t argue with them. They see themselves as the center of the universe, and you are only peripheral. Really, I think they have a hard time conceiving that you have any individual existence; you exist only in relation to them.

One of his teachers says Cho was “the loneliest person” she ever met. Uh, yeh. . . I can imagine being so self oriented can make you a little lonely! His former roommates say that at the beginning they tried to make conversation with him, but that he shut them out.

He felt alien. We all feel alien, sometime or another. Most of us don’t go out on a shooting revenge, blaming our alienity on “rich kids” or whatever the enemy flavor-of-the-day is.

I feel sorry for his parents. They must be devastated. They have probably known – but not wanted to see – that their son had serious problems. Their hearts must be breaking, for their son, and they must be wondering where they failed as parents. The damage this kid inflicted against his community resonates on and on.

April 19, 2007 Posted by | Community, Crime, Cross Cultural, Family Issues, News, Random Musings, Relationships | 2 Comments

James Morrow’s The Last Witchfinder

This is one of the strangest books I have ever read. I can’t even claim to have picked it up on any recommendation – I was on my way to grab a cup of coffee when my eye fell on the book. I don’t know why. Anything having to do with witchcraft is repugnant to me. And yet . . . my eye fell on it. I picked it up. I read the back cover – the write-up wasn’t that great. And yet, I bought the book.
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It is a very weird book. It is written from the point of view of another book, Sir Isaac Newton’s Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy, and starts off in the late 1600’s, as the Newton’s book falls in love with the main character of Morrow’s Witchfinder, Jennet Stearne.

As the book begins, you are reminded of sitting with a friend who talks too much. The book chats on and on, goes on detours, tells you too much about people you don’t even care to know, but somehow . . . you like this friend anyway, and tolorate the annoyance because somehow you come away better for knowing this person/this book.

And I really, really liked the main heroine, who is only 11 when we meet her, living in England, and studying with her aunt Isobel, who does all kinds of cool scientific experiments to demostrate principles from Newton’s books, using prisms and microscopes and calculations, and it all sounds very dull, but somehow – it isn’t. Jennet and Isobel are so irrepressably intelligent! and funny! and down to earth!

But there is a viper in all this merriment, and the viper is Jennet’s father, a witchfinder, who, when his sister-in-law, Isobel, is accused of witchcraft, proves the charges against her.

How do you prove a charge of witchcraft?

The signs, according to Jennet’s father were very clear. A witch caused bad things to happen, like your best rooster dies after you have cheated the witch, or your wife miscarries, or your crop fails. A witch had a “familiar spirit” around, like a cat. (You can see how that might make me very nervous.) A witch had a blemish, a mark of Satan, somewhere on her body, that doesn’t bleed when you stick a needle into it. A witch, when thrown into the water, will sink, not float. They had special equipment for testing for witches. Most people – a very few accused were men – failed the test.

Thousands of people, primarily women, failed the test throughout the 14th, 15th, 16th and 17th centuries in Europe. Entire villages near Trier in Germany were killed for the accusation of practicing witchcraft. Women were burned at the stake in France by the hundreds. Women who acted as midwives, or used herbal medicines were particularly vulnerable to the accusation of witchcraft, although men were also, from time to time, accused and convicted. And the accusers were often the jealous, the ignorant, the spiteful and at best – the misguided.

Jennet’s aunt Isobel failed the test. She failed, and she was burned at the stake. As she was lit afire, she shouts out to Jennet to create a “grande arguement”, a proof, using Newton’s Mathmatic Principles, that witchcraft / sorcery does not and cannot exist.

Jennet’s life is bigger than most people’s lives. Her family moves to the Americas – actually, her father is sent there because his profession as witchfinder is becoming an embarrassment in England. She is captured by and lives with American Indians for several years. She returns to “civilization” in time to experience the horrors of the Salem witch trials. She meets Benjamin Franklin, with whom she is shipwrecked on a Caribbean island. And those are just the bare bones!

The book is loaded with great characters, huge ideas, and visionary people, struggling to escape the tangles of the small minded religious fanatics, clinging to old and superstitious ways. And yet, the book is both scientific AND religious, coming to some grandly unifying propositions.

It sounds so dull, but it isn’t. There are lots of big words, but also a lot of humor. It is a book for people who loved Kurt Vonnegut, and who have read and relished John Kennedy Toole’s Confederacy of Dunces. It has a lot of the tongue-in-cheek theology of Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. The characters are so alive, and so likable, and you will find yourself reading when you have other things to do, because you are eager for Jennet to succeed at her grand endeavor.

Read this book. You won’t be sorry. Available at amazon.com for a mere $10.85 plus shipping. I paid $15.95 plus tax at B&N ;-(

April 17, 2007 Posted by | Books, Community, Cross Cultural, Family Issues, Living Conditions, Marriage, Mating Behavior, Poetry/Literature, Political Issues, Random Musings, Relationships, Satire, Spiritual, Women's Issues | 6 Comments