Empty Nests Make for Happy Marriage
LLOOLL. To everyone’s great surprise, the results found the empty-nest marriages are HAPPIER than families with children. I think the message is HANG IN THERE! The study found that marital happiness plunged with the first child, and went further south with each addition. Children take time and attention, the more, the more chaotic. The study doesn’t say don’t have children, it just says there is a great satisfaction to having children who successfuly transition to adulthood.
This compilation of studies is reported in today’s New York Times. Clicking on the blue type will take you to the entire article.
The study is important because it tracks the first generation of women to juggle traditional family responsibilities with jobs in the work force. In the empty-nest study, researchers compared the women’s marital happiness in their 40s, when many still had children at home; in their early 50s, when some had older children who had left home; and in their 60s, when virtually all had empty nests. At every point, the empty nesters scored higher on marital happiness than women with children still at home. The finding mirrors that of a report presented last year at the American Psychological Association, tracking a dozen parents who were interviewed at the time of a child’s high school graduation and 10 years later. That small study also showed that a majority of parents scored higher on marital satisfaction after children had left home.
While the Berkeley researchers had hypothesized that the improvement in marital happiness came from couples’ spending more time together, the women in the same study reported spending just as much time with their partners whether the children were living at home or had moved out. But they said the quality of that time was better.
“There are fewer interruptions and less stress when kids are out of the house,” said Dr. Gorchoff, at Berkeley. “It wasn’t that they spent more time with each other after the children moved out. It’s the quality of time they spent with each other that improved.”
She notes that the lesson from the empty nest may be that parents need to work to carve out more stress-free time together. In the sample studied, it was only relationship satisfaction that improved when children left home. Over all, parents were just as happy with children at home as in the empty nest. (What happens when adult children move back home, their job prospects having evaporated in a brutal economy, has not been extensively studied.)
“Kids aren’t ruining parents’ lives,” Dr. Gorchoff said. “It’s just that they’re making it more difficult to have enjoyable interactions together.”
A New Dawn (and Glimpses from the Inauguration)
“Are you able to watch the inauguration from work?” I type an IM to my son.
“Nah, I’ll have to catch some of it later,” he types back. He has victims to interview and briefs to prepare – it’s a normal day, not a holiday in his state.
I am glued to the screen. AdventureMan comes home and joins me, just in time for the swearing in and Inaugural address. WOW. Our new President is inspirational. He doesn’t tell us it is going to be easy. He says we are all going to have to work hard to turn things around. He reminds us that together, united – we can do it. Wow.
AdventureMan said what was most exciting to him was that we are celebrating 200 years of peaceful transition of power. The pendulum has swung right and left and center, administrations have changed, and by the Grace of God, it has happened peacefully.
Taking the oath of office:
Crowds watching in Kenya:
Inaugural speech:
An estimated 1.4 million Americans stood hours to watch Obama become President in temperatures below freezing:
Singing the national anthem:
Signing his first documents as the US President:
What? You thought I forgot? Here is the new dawn in Kuwait – a pearly morning, another great day in Kuwait. Thanks for your patience. 🙂
Mubarakiyya Food Court
Several people have asked where the Fatayer Man is in Mubarakiyya.
Here is what the area looks like:
Here is a GoogleMap of the area (isn’t this amazing? Isn’t GoogleEarth amazing? I can’t believe such great technology is give to us for free. I wish I were smarter, I wish I could put arrows on the map, and stars, but I can’t figure out how to do that . . . yet!
You will see three lines of white running parallel – those are covers over the walkways in the main part of the souks. There are others, but this is the heart, where they sell vegetables, meat and fish. You walk straight down one of them until you get to the open court – you will see a mosque. In the GoogleEarth photo, you will see a round gold circle – that is the dome.
Just below the mosque, in the photo, you will see restaurant seating areas. The one closest to the entrance to the “food court” is the Malik al Saj, or King of (a particular type of) Bread; it is written on a great big blue Pepsi sign, and there are lots of waiters there eager to seat you. The food is fresh, and very good.
Now look at the map again. You will see more seating lower in the photo, over to the left. It is just around the corner from the other restaurant areas. This second area is where the fatayer man is. Just go down around that corner, peek into the restaurant areas until you see him hard at work, and then sit in the area just in front of where he is working. If you order tea, in this cold weather, they will bring you a pot with a charcoal heater, to savor while your fatayer is baking.
You can find these tea-heaters in the souks, too, but don’t use them inside, because they need charcoal, and using charcoal inside is a really bad (as in fatal) idea.
Words you need to know if you are not an Arabic speaker:
Chai – tea
fatayer – a breakfast bread filled with “jibn” (cheese), Halloumi (salty cheese) zatar (thyme-sumak spice mix) or jibn/halloumi wa zatar (cheese/salty cheese with thyme-sumak mix)
shish taouk – marinated, grilled chicken on a skewer
semak – fish (some of the fish served is amazing)
mixed grill – mixed grill 🙂
Happy eating! Go while the weather is cool and wonderful!
Mr. Ken’s Sunrise
Another expat with a view-to-die-for sent me some photos today I want to share with you. First, I want to share his description of what he went through to get the photos, LLOOOLLLL!
I had to open the window to take the pictures because they are, understandably, very dirty on the outside (12th floor apt). It was a little chilly so I had closed the window waiting for the sun to show. When it did, the lock and the window had jammed (from lack of use most likely) so I wasn’t able to take the last shot I wanted. Ironically, the lock on the window popped out about three hours later all on its own (probably solar heating).
Here is the first one – I just love the blue-ness of it!
Here are the next two:
He’s loaned his good camera to a friend, so he took these with his cell phone. Great photos, Ken! By the way, every now and then your building management probably schedules a team to wash your windows. They will come in one of those gondola like things. It usually happens the day before the next sandstorm. 😦
Villa Moda Sale
I was out goofing off with a bunch of girlfriends when one said “Let’s go to the Villa Moda sale and see what they’ve got in today.”
These are my bestest friends. I’m the driver. They are all excited. We go.
It is in a building I have always been curious about, that great big building on Gulf Road in Salwa, south of Bida’a circle, the one that has palm trees growing out of it. I have always figured it was a wedding hall or something, and wondered what it looked like inside, so once I got my friends all OOhing and aahing and arms loaded with things to try on and all the Manolo Blahniks, I snuck off and took some photos of the interior, which is sort of Middle-Eastern done by Disney:
All this was just the basement! Literally, a bargain basement, some items marked 90% off. Women were leaving with armloads of clothes, shoes and accessories.
I would love to get a glimpse of the upstairs. 🙂
Bu Yousef: Fancy a Date? Great Kuwait Market Magic Challenge
Woo HOO, Bu Yousef! This is one great photo! I can almost taste the date, but even better – I love the gleam on the vendor’s face! More, please, Bu Yousef!
DaisyMae: Number 1 Entry in the Great Kuwait Market Magic Challenge
DaisyMae is our first challenger, with recent photos from the souks. Woo Hoooo on you, DaisyMae! Thank you for showing us the markets through your eyes.
WHO is next? Is it YOU? 🙂
The Great Kuwait Market Magic Photo Challenge
OK my friends. You know how this works. There is no great prize, except the thrill of the hunt, and the sharing with those who share your passion. And before we go on, I want to give credit to Yousef, at Some Contrast who took some truly fabulous photos at the Souk Mubarakiyya last week and wrote up a delightful article about it.
Today, the Great Kuwait Market Magic Photo Challenge kicks off. I would limit it to Mubarakiyya, but if I did, I might miss the magic YOU see in the Sharq market, or one of the fish markets or . . .
The weather is gorgeous. The lighting is fabulous. Go forth and capture the magic of the market. Send your photo to me and I will publish it here. Or you can publish it on your blog and tell us in the comments section of this blog entry, if that is your preference. The deadline will be January 31st, and I will post a poll so we can all vote on our favorites.
WOO HOO on you, Kuwait photographers.
I have a thing about bread, so here is what inspired this post:
This man, in the Mubarakiyya food court near the mosque, makes fatayer that I think are to die for. You can sit outside in the warmth of the Kuwaiti morning, and sip a little tea with mint and one of these fatayer (we like halloumi and zatar) will more than take care of your morning treat. 🙂
For about one month of the year, being the man who puts the bread in the oven – it’s done by hand, for those of you who don’t live here – must be a joy. The rest of the year, I can’t begin to imagine . . .
This is a more modern oven, but it still looks like something out of Hansel and Gretel, doesn’t it? (Hansel and Gretel is one of many particularly gruesome “fairytales” children in the West are raised with. There are many horrifying tales – read the Grimm brothers. Wicked parents, wicked stepparents, a horror filled life for children.)
Back to the topic – go forth, Kuwait, and show us what you see in the markets!
Freej Soeleh
“You’re going to LOVE this place!” AdventureMan crowed from two continents and an ocean away. Our Kuwaiti friends’ son had just taken him and his father to eat in this restaurant, and it was a great experience.
He was right. A couple months later, he took me there, and I loved it. It was a different experience for him, too, when he went with me, because with me, he could sit upstairs in the family section. 🙂
You would never guess a place so full of homages to Kuwaiti tradition would be next door neighbors to the Marina Mall. From some of the cabinets, you look directly over to the mall.
They make their own sweets, and very fine sweets they are. His huge pot is entirely copper, and he makes wonderful candies, which you can buy and take with you, and use for gifts – made in Kuwait!
Pardon my indelicacy, but I love thoughtful decoration. This is the ladies room, and I am crazy about their huge bowl sinks – a wave to the past with the traditional sand and stone colors and materials:
We have all the privacy in the world, although we are surrounded by families. By the way, this is not a great place for an intimate, romantic dinner. Children are everywhere, clearly welcome, and bouncing off the walls. It is noisy. (We don’t mind.) When you want a waiter, you press the call button on the wall next to the little windows, which open and close.
At night – OK, this is hokey, but the truth is, I love it – they have a ceiling full of “stars”:
One thing we really love is that you can get Kuwaiti foods here. We love trying different things. One of our favorites is the Fish at the Bottom of the Pot:
Very shortly, pre-food food arrives – the beignets are light and sweet and irresistible:
As you can see, the prices are reasonable:
We have never ordered the camel milk:
To get to the Freej Soeleh coming south on Gulf Road, turn in where you see that big old Kuwaiti Style hotel, I think it is the Al-Ghanim, and then take the first right onto what my friends call Salmiyya High Street. You take the last right going toward the Marina Mall just before the mall, which will take you right into a parking area. If you look on your right, you will see the Freej Soeleh.
If you are coming South on Gulf Road, take the exit that goes in front of Marina Mall and turn right just past the valet entrance to the Mall. You will see a parking lot – and the Freej Soeleh – on your left.
You can take the elevator up to the second floor, if you are a family. If you are bachelors, you can take the escalator up to the first floor. The food is good in either place. The family section is more colorful.
If you go early – like noon for lunch, six-thirty/seven for dinner – you will walk right in. If you go later, when the Kuwaiti families stream in, you may have to wait, but they have a great waiting area, and you can watch the caramel man make candy.
Please, my western friends, if you go, dress modestly. This is a family place; most women are in abayas. I have never seen another western family here, but then we are all in cabinets, so that’s not such a surprise. It is a gem of an adventure in Kuwait.
I apologize that there are no photos of the main courses. There is always SO MUCH food. It comes, there is a frantic trying to organize the table so it has enough room for everything, and it all smells so good! You tend to just dive in.
The one jarring element is that when you are having appetizers, the tabbouleh, the muttabel, the hummus, they bring a plastic bag of bread on a plate. . . I guess I get spoiled down at the Mubarakiyya market, where the bread is always freshly made . . . I wish they had fresh hot bread, but the food itself is GOOD.
Kuwait Airport Radar Malfunction
Airport radar malfunction
Published Date: January 08, 2009
From the Kuwait Times
KUWAIT: The radar at Kuwait International Airport malfunctioned on Tuesday, but this did not affect air traffic in any way, said the Directorate General of Civil Aviation yesterday.
The directorate’s Acting Director of Aviation Equipment Department Sami Al-Hulaibi said the malfunction occurred at 11:30 pm.
All necessary procedures were taken and the emergency standby radar was used, he added, noting that technicians, in cooperation with the manufacturer of the radar, were working to fix the device so that it may render service once again. — KUNA
11:30 pm is like one of the busiest times at Kuwait Airport. Many of the long international flights are taking off, crowds are coming in from India and the far east, and the radar is malfunctioning?? I wonder how long it took before the back-up radar was in place? Will they let us know when the front-line system is operational again?
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