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Expat wanderer

‘Lost Boy’ Casts Vote for Independence

I found this today on NPR News and it delights me for a number of reasons. For one thing, I didn’t know David Eggars (you remember him from Zeitoun) had helped with the writing of ‘What Is The What?’. Second, who knew that any of these kids would survive? Survive, write a book, thrive, go back to the Sudan, give to the country – and vote. Every now and then in this sad world you hear a good story. This is one.

January 10, 2011
During Sudan’s civil war, in which some 2 million people died, Valentino Achak Deng fled to Ethiopia on foot. Separated from his family for 17 years, Deng is one of Sudan’s so-called Lost Boys, children who were orphaned or separated from their families during the brutal war.

Now, voting is under way in Southern Sudan in a referendum that is expected to split Africa’s largest country. Among those voting this week are the Lost Boys, including Deng, whose life became a best-selling novel in America and who has returned to his homeland to build a school.

After a peace agreement between north and south, Deng returned to Juba, the capital of Southern Sudan, in 2006. He says when he got there, the place was still a wreck.

“On some of these roads, you could see old war tanks. On some of these roads, in some neighborhoods you could see the bones and skulls of dead people,” he recalls now, driving around Juba.

Now, as Southern Sudan appears headed for independence, Deng is optimistic — and Juba looks a lot better. Paved roads, now lined with hotels and restaurants, arrived for the first time in 2007.

Juba is a booming city, one of incredible contrast: Barefoot women selling piles of gravel by the side of the road sit next to a Toyota dealership.

Peace is spurring investment and consumer demand. Juba’s growth is driven by Southern Sudan’s oil revenue as well aid from foreign governments and nongovernmental organizations.

Deng grew up in a tiny village called Marial Bai. In the 1980s, northern bombers and Arab militias came.

“They bombed Marial Bai, destroyed it, killed everything, burned crops and livestock,” he says.

Deng was there when the fighting came. He says he “ran away with the rest.” He was 9 years old.

Deng joined thousands of Lost Boys, who spent months trekking across Sudan to refugee camps in Ethiopia. His experience is captured in What Is the What, a novel by Dave Eggers, which reads like a modern-day story of Job.

The boys, some naked, march across an unforgiving landscape, facing Arab horsemen, bombing raids, lions and crocodiles.

Deng eventually resettled in the U.S., where he attended college and was mentored and sponsored by ordinary Americans.

In 2007, he returned to start a high school in Marial Bai, where there was none.

“We have 250 students. Our annual budget now stands at about $200,000 because the school is free,” he says.

The school is funded by Deng’s private foundation. He says most donations come from Americans touched by his story and the plight of Southern Sudan.

Deng, now 32, has just cast his vote for independence. He says that for a Sudanese child of war, his life’s journey is almost inconceivable.

“I never imagined I would be the person I am right now,” he says.

January 10, 2011 Posted by | Adventure, Africa, Biography, Books, Character, Charity, Civility, Community, Cross Cultural, Cultural, Dharfur, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Leadership, Living Conditions, Poetry/Literature, Political Issues, Sudan | Leave a comment

Shopping Styles: Predatory, Social or Desperation?

As AdventureMan once said, I am not entirely sure I agree with what I am about to say. Feel free to jump in.

Today I was mopping the floors, washing the floors and vacuuming the carpets. This is not – way not – something I like to do, but something I do because long ago somewhere in my tiny little brain, a seed was planted that a dirty floor was a shameful thing. I remember once thinking “people could eat off my floor; there must be a whole meal here!” when I left it unwashed for a few days. In my last three incarnations, in Kuwait and in Qatar, I was blessed with wonderful women who came in and took care of my floors for me, also the dusting, and the laundry, and the windows, and all the things I now do. It takes a surprising chunk of time out of my day. 😦

Oh! Yes. The shopping.

I just wanted you to know that I am not cleaning my house willingly or joyfully, but dutifully. I have discovered, however, that mindless physical activity frees the mind, and you never know where a free mind will go.

I have a friend coming to visit, and this friend and I have had so much fun together, through the years, exchanging books, going out on double dates with our husbands to wonderful places in France and Germany, and . . . shopping.

Finding a person who shops the way you do is a real blessing. I say I am not much of a shopper, but we all have to shop sometimes. Mostly, I shop alone, I am a predator. I am looking for specific game, and I want the juiciest prey at the best price. Most of my friends are like me – we don’t hunt in packs, because when you shop in packs a group mentality surfaces, and you get home with things you never would have bought.

I do shop with other solitary predators from time to time; this is how you know them. You don’t shop together. You shop the same stores, sometimes just the same mall, meeting up to compare items and to go on to the next stop. Most of my predatory shoppers friends know their own style, know their own preferences, and few ask me what I think, nor do I ask them. We do exclaim gleefully over our purchases.

In the military, in Germay, there would be shopping tours to take you to places. Sometimes I took them, most times I didn’t. It depended on whether or not you had to stay together. I saw people buy some truly appalling things because it had a particular name or a particularly low price. The fact that it was obviously inferior did not even seem to strike their consciousness, once the herd shopping mentality kicked in. If the tour were going to a village, and people were on their own and then met up, I would do that. I went to Paris on such a trip; leaving
Germany at midnight, leaving the tour at six in the morning for croissants and coffee at La Duree at its original location on Rue Royale arranging to meet up with them later.

The Musee D’Orsay had just opened, and I was dying to see the exhibit. I spent the morning there, leaving as the hoardes started arriving, had a little lunch of Vietnamese salad rolls on the Left Bank, and strolled over the bridge to the shopping areas around Rue Royale. I found three great outfits at Galleries Lafayette, grabbed a salad from their gorgeous food court, and met up with my group at six to depart. I was home by midnight. 🙂 I would have liked a friend, but I didn’t know anyone, once again I was new, and Paris is so easy that just 12 hours there was a piece of cake.

Social shoppers find us solitary predators very strange. They live in a different world than we do. They consult. Their shopping goals are not so much the goods as the experience. They enjoy the company, and they like having someone to help them make their purchasing decisions. They often meet up for shopping and lunch, and some even shop to kill time. (What luxury! In my whole life, I have never had time to kill; I always have projects, and lists of things that need doing!)

I have been one other kind of shopper, though, and that is a desperation shopper. It was when I was a young mother. Shopping was for survival. I never knew when the baby would start to cry, need to be nursed, or need a change. When I had a babysitter, I was always aware of how little time I had and how much I had to get done. Once a month, I would go to the commissary, about twenty miles away, to buy a month’s worth of diapers, meat (we ate more meat then), canned goods and paper goods.

I see the same desperation in the elderly here in Florida; shopping takes energy and you never know when your energy will desert you. As you can see, I am still thinking about my experience at the Navy Commissary, and I now I can empathize. I might be grumpy and aggressive, too, when I reach a stage where I remember having energy, and now I don’t know where it has gone. I may even scowl at cheerful, energetic people because I wish I still were . . .

We’re all wired so differently. There may be some shopping styles to which I am oblivious. Can you think of any?

January 8, 2011 Posted by | Cultural, ExPat Life, Food, France, Friends & Friendship, Germany, Living Conditions, Relationships, Shopping, Social Issues, Values | Leave a comment

A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick

You know how wonderful it is when you start a book, and immediately you are hooked? This is not that kind of book. This is a book you start reading and you think “Why am I reading this? I don’t like ANY of the characters!”

And yet, somehow, I kept reading. And slowly, slowly, the hook was set, I could not stop reading.

Actually, I read the book several months ago, and I am still thinking about it. That’s a good book. 🙂

We meet one of the main characters as he stands waiting for a train to arrive, carrying his bride-to-be. As we stand waiting with the man, we discover that he is not very likable. We also learn that winters in his part of the country are long and hard, and very strange things happen to people cooped up together during these long, hard winters. It is a very bleak beginnning.

Then we are riding in the train with a woman who is answering an ad placed by the first man who was advertising for a wife. We get a few clues that she is misrepresenting herself, but . . . isn’t a little misrepresentation part of the mating process? Do we really show all our less attractive features to the person to whom we want to be married? And does she know what she is getting in for with this rather cold and distant man?

Do you really want to read this book?

It gets better. So much better. People are complicated, and they lead complicated lives. Sometimes evil leads only downward, and to more evil, and from time to time, there is a gleam of hope and the slim promise of redemption. It gives a clear slice of time from the early 1900’s, and a much earlier time in America. For anyone with the illusions that life in that turn-of-the-century America was a better, simpler, more moral time, this book is a reality check.

Nothing in the beginning of this book is quite what it seems, and yet every word is finely crafted to give a clue as to where the book is going. Will you be able to figure it out before you get there?

(I did not.)

There are so many good books out there. This one is slow to start, but builds steadily to an unforgettable ending. It is worth a read.

January 7, 2011 Posted by | Books, Community, Cultural, Family Issues, Marriage, Mating Behavior, Scams, Social Issues, Values, Women's Issues | Leave a comment

The Gauntlet

Today dawned clear and beautiful after a day of rain yesterday. It’s a good thing, today I ‘run the gauntlet,’ i.e. I make my run to the military facilities.

It’s across town. Across town in Pensacola is a piece of cake – it’s not like trying to get across Doha, or across Kuwait City; you’re not stuck forever on the ring roads with the arrogant and the rude and the inconsiderate-at-best or even worse – the oblivious.

No, it’s a mere fifteen minutes of sedate driving. I go to the hospital pharmacy, and IF they have the medication I have prescribed, they will fill it – for free. I fill my tank; gas is cheaper and there is no tax. I pop by the Navy Exchange to pick up my expensive hope-in-a-bottle, which is cheaper there. No tax. And now . . . sigh . . . it is time to go to the commissary.

I don’t go that often. While I can find most things there, it can be hit or miss. Prices are better, and there are no taxes, but it isn’t Publix. When you go to check out, everyone waits in one long snakey line, and one at a time, as a cashier becomes available, they check you out. It isn’t that bad. As a process, it goes fairly quickly.

Although the prices are pretty good and there is no tax, you are obligated to tip the bag people who bag and carry out your groceries, and there is a surcharge added onto your bill to cover commissary operation costs. I still think overall we save money.

No, the reason I dread the commissary is the other customers. These are military people and former military people, these are MY people! And they are rude! The aisles are crowded with scowling, aggressive people. The older they are, the worse they are! You think of older people being kindly and polite, but something is wrong with this picture at the commissary, where so many are pushy and rude and look at you like ‘get out of my way!’ I try to stay out of their way, but there are so many of them!

Actually, I try to stem the tide of ill-will by being particularly polite and cheerful. I’m not sure it does much good. Sometimes cheerfulness only seems to make cross and crabby people crosser and crabbier.

On the way to the car, I was chatting with the bagger, and he told me this year was fairly mellow, not like last year.

“What happened last year?” I had to ask.

“Oh, last year they put turkeys on sale,” he responded as he loaded the bags into the back of the car. “Even though you were only allowed to buy two, some people were cheating and buying more, and a couple fist-fights broke out.”

Fist fights? In the commissary? Over turkeys? And who has room in their freezers for more than one turkey?

I resolve not to make another trip to the commissary until I absolutely have to.

January 6, 2011 Posted by | Aging, Civility, Cultural, ExPat Life, Living Conditions, Pensacola, Shopping | 9 Comments

The King’s Speech

“The movie is sold out!” my friend exclaimed as she and her husband joined me in the theater. We had really good seats. I had accidentally managed to get there early enough to get seats right in the center, close enough, but not too close. People looked at the seats I was saving for my friend and her husband with envy, and it was all I could do not to make a sign against the ‘evil eye.’ 🙂

Whoda thunk? Who would have thought a movie about an English king with a speech problem would sell out the entire theatre?

Must be word of mouth. The film is really, really good, and takes a personal tragedy and turns it into an inspiration. You wouldn’t think there could be anything funny about tackling such a problem, but the movie has some very very funny moments – the king, George VI, actually CAN speak without a stammer when he is swearing, when he is singing, or when he is very very angry.

His unorthodox speech tutor gives the King a new vision of himself, and helps him find insights into how the problem developed. There are some very moving moments, and some highly inspiring ones, too. All in all, the movie keeps moving, keeps you informed and makes you glad you spent the money on movie tickets.

January 2, 2011 Posted by | Biography, Cultural, Education, Entertainment, Family Issues, Leadership, Relationships | 15 Comments

The Disciple Jesus Loved

In today’s gospel reading is this story, a story I love because it tells us, as all our mothers always have, to mind our own business, to look to correcting our own behavior and not that of others.

There is a note to this passage, in The Lectionary: “The most ancient authorities lack 7.53—8.11; other authorities add the passage here or after 7.36 or after 21.25 or after Luke 21.38, with variations of text; some mark the passage as doubtful.”

The story is in the book of John, who is believed to be the disciple Jesus loved the best, and who tends to see into the heart of things. Although his closest followers, the disciples, often got it wrong (like arguing over who would sit at his right hand in heaven), they lived and worked with Jesus while he was here living on earth, and John seemed to know him best of all. To me, this story shows what Jesus expects of us – that we look to our own sins – and also, his compassion towards women.


(This is an image by Dagmar Anders)

John 7:53-8:11
53Then each of them went home, 81while Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him and he sat down and began to teach them.

3The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, 4they said to him, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. 5Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?’ 6They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him.

Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’

8And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground.* 9When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.

10Jesus straightened up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ 11She said, ‘No one, sir.’* And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.’]]*

December 30, 2010 Posted by | Arts & Handicrafts, Community, Cultural, Family Issues, Living Conditions, Marriage, Social Issues, Spiritual, Women's Issues | 4 Comments

Happy Baby’s First Christmas

“Mom, Happy Baby just took his first steps today!”

I could hear the joy in my son’s voice.

The day before, they had been at our house, and while my son fixed up a Wii for me, and showed me how Wii Fit works, I walked Happy Baby around the house, holding on to one finger. He really didn’t need the finger, it just gave him confidence.

It is so much fun watching him walk. He takes five to eight steps, then stops and sits while he thinks about it for a while, then up and starts again.

To him, mostly Christmas was just another day, only with more people around. He loved it. 🙂

December 27, 2010 Posted by | Christmas, Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues | 8 Comments

Zachariah, and the Priestly Order of Abijah

When I first started doing readings daily from the Lectionary, I used a Bible, and often I would find myself intrigued and would read past where I was supposed to. Later, I discovered the joys of doing my readings on the internet, where I could instantly look up something I didn’t understand.

Today is a wondrous reading from Luke, where and old rabbi/priest, Zechariah and and his old wife, Elizabeth, who is barren, are to be blessed with a son, long after their young, fruitful years, and it is the Angel Gabriel who brings the news. One of the things I love about this story is that the characters are common to all Abrahamic religions, and I was able to find an article by Shmuel Safrai in The Jerusalem Perspective on what the Priesthood of Abijah would have been all about. If you are interested, just click on the blue type and you can read it, too.

Living in Moslem countries has helped me so much with understanding the human issues in these writings. Elizabeth’s barrenness was more than a personal tragedy; barrenness in a land and culture that highly values children and large families would be endlessly painful. The gift of John/Yahyah in her old age was a wondrous mercy.

Luke 1:5-25

5 In the days of King Herod of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, who belonged to the priestly order of Abijah. His wife was a descendant of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 6 Both of them were righteous before God, living blamelessly according to all the commandments and regulations of the Lord. 7 But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were getting on in years.

8 Once when he was serving as priest before God and his section was on duty, 9 he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to enter the sanctuary of the Lord and offer incense. 10 Now at the time of the incense-offering, the whole assembly of the people was praying outside. 11 Then there appeared to him an angel of the Lord, standing at the right side of the altar of incense. 12 When Zechariah saw him, he was terrified; and fear overwhelmed him. 13 But the angel said to him, ‘Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will name him John. 14 You will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He must never drink wine or strong drink; even before his birth he will be filled with the Holy Spirit. 16 He will turn many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God.

17 With the spirit and power of Elijah he will go before him, to turn the hearts of parents to their children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous, to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.’

18 Zechariah said to the angel, ‘How will I know that this is so? For I am an old man, and my wife is getting on in years.’

19 The angel replied, ‘I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news. 20 But now, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time, you will become mute, unable to speak, until the day these things occur.’

21 Meanwhile, the people were waiting for Zechariah, and wondered at his delay in the sanctuary. 22 When he did come out, he could not speak to them, and they realized that he had seen a vision in the sanctuary. He kept motioning to them and remained unable to speak. 23 When his time of service was ended, he went to his home.

24 After those days his wife Elizabeth conceived, and for five months she remained in seclusion. She said, 25 ‘This is what the Lord has done for me when he looked favourably on me and took away the disgrace I have endured among my people.’

December 21, 2010 Posted by | Aging, Christmas, Cultural, Family Issues, Marriage, Mating Behavior, Spiritual, Values | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Christmas Cookies – Check!

This is a time of the year when I count my blessings. And yes, yes, it isn’t the only time of the year, LOL, any opportunity will do, but of all the weeks in the year, the week before Christmas is my favorite.

You know me. I’m a front-loader; when there is something I need to have done, I do it right away so it doesn’t hang over me, growing daily because I am dreading doing it for having put it off. For me, just do it. Then it doesn’t have time to grow!

I will admit, I am still doing some small unavoidable wrapping, but the gifts are mostly bought and/or figured out.

Because I remember what it was to be a working wife and working mother, I volunteered to bake extra Christmas cookies, so my daughter-in law wouldn’t have to worry about it. When you don’t HAVE to do it, it’s fun!

Every year I learn something. This year – and trust me, there have been many many years of baking Christmas cookies – I (gasp) followed the instructions, and used a paintbrush to put the glaze on. Holy Smokes. HOLY Smokes. Had I known, had I trusted, my life would have been so much easier. Friends, if you are painting a glaze onto sugar cookies – use a paintbrush. It works like a charm.

Tiny Pecan Muffins:

I tried a new recipe for the Russian Teacakes; they taste delicious but I like them better when they are balls, not more like cookies:

These are new this year, and so easy I think I will do them every year. They are a sugar cookie, but you make them in rolls, chill them in the refrigerator, then slice and bake. Sooooo EASY! 🙂

These are the hardest, the Rosettes, which you make one by one, standing over hot oil with a metal rod and form, but they are everyone’s favorites, and they are a family tradition, so I do them every year:

For photos of the process, and for recipes for rosettes, you can click here.

Basic Sugar Cookies

Rosettes Recipe

Russian Teacakes Recipe

December 19, 2010 Posted by | Arts & Handicrafts, Christmas, Cooking, Cultural, Family Issues, Food, Generational, Recipes | 6 Comments

Happy National Day, Qatar

LOL, it’s early Saturday morning, I’ve finished my readings and I’m checking the blog. Unusually high number of hits for so early in the morning. I take a look at the stats, where I can see which posts are generating the interest, and I see this:

Some posts just gain a life all their own. Blogging is a funny craft; there are items you put your heart into and only your best friends comment, and then there are items you toss off, and they generate hits month after month. Blogging is a learning experience, and a humbling one.

Happy National Day, Qatar! 🙂

December 18, 2010 Posted by | Adventure, Blogging, Cross Cultural, Cultural, Doha, Entertainment, ExPat Life, Holiday, Qatar, Statistics | Leave a comment