Qatteri Cat Enjoys Winter Sunlight
Nothing like a snooze in the winter sunlight for the Qatteri Cat. He keeps track of everything going on in the neighborhood until the sleep waves overcome him, and then he just kicks back a little. It’s a great life, being an indoor cat.
Lent and Laughter
“So how’s that workin’ for you?” cackles AdventureMan, on a roll. He is totally cracking himself up.
“Hey, where’s your wife, AdventureMan?” he goes on, his high story-telling voice as he goes on making up stories. “Oh, I had to send her back to the Us of A for cursing in the car during Lent.”
He is not even listening. He is on a roll. Oh, he thinks he is so funny.
Today is the first day of Great Lent, our 40 day season of repentance and looking inward, fasting and spiritual examination. AdventureMan has asked what sacrifice I will make, and I had just said that last year, giving up swearing in the car, one word in particular, while I was driving had been a real struggle, but that I had actually managed, mostly. Not perfectly, but mostly.
“This year,” I told him, “I am going to practice turning the other cheek, I am going to try to be a peaceful spirit on the road, I am raising the bar.”
That’s when he started cracking up. There was no stopping him.
He had already told me he is giving up liver and brains and kidneys for Lent, all foods he stays far away from anyway. AdventureMan doesn’t take sacrificing for Lent very seriously. “I’m going to fast the way Little Diamond describes in her blog, you know, like the Maronites,” he giggles, barely able to talk, “only instead of fasting from midnight to noon, I will fast from ten at night until ten in the morning!”
He is laughing so hard he can hardly hear me.
“That’s not a sacrifice!” I argue! “You are sleeping most of that time, and you don’t eat breakfast anyway! That’s not a sacrifice!”
‘You worry about YOUR sacrifices and I will worry about mine!” he says, and I know he is right.
The truth is, AdventureMan sacrifices every day of his life. He works hard to provide a good life for his family. He sacrifices his time and energy every single day. He goes to church with me willingly, he prays with me every morning. It’s enough.
“Because No One Wants to Know”
There is a chilling article on today’s BBC Health News on the silent epidemic of male suicide. Suicide, says the article, is outstripped as the leading cause of death among young men only by road deaths. I have often wondered how many road deaths are also a silent cry of despair?
The silent epidemic of male suicide
By Dan Bell
BBC News
Young men are taught not to talk about their problems
Whatever the individual reasons that drive people to suicide, the one thing that puts you most at risk is being a man under the age of 35.
Of the 13 people who killed themselves in South Wales over the past year, all but one were men aged under 27.
John Hogan, the father who threw himself off a hotel balcony in Greece, was aged 32. When his two brothers Stephen and Paul killed themselves, they were aged 17 and 35.
Suicide is the second most common way for a man between the ages of 15 and 34 to die. It is outstripped, only just, by road deaths.
Suicide ‘epidemic’
About 900 young men take their own lives each year, and they account for about 75% of all suicides in this age group.
“You’ve had what is effectively an epidemic of young male suicide,” says the National Director for Mental Health in England, Professor Louis Appleby. Between 1970 and 1998, the rate more than doubled. At its peak, five men were dying for every woman.
‘It was worse than we knew’
Yet according to Prof Appleby, less than 20% of young men who commit suicide have had any contact with either their GP or mental health services in the previous year. Quite simply, he says, “they don’t seek help when they have problems.”
If suicide is the second most serious public health issue for young men, why don’t we know about it?
According to Jane Powell, coordinator of the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), the only national organisation that specifically reaches out to young men at risk of suicide, it is because no-one wants to know.
You can read the rest of the article HERE
Beware: Men in Veils
I know y’all think I am just so very creative coming up with all these titles, but the truth is – I don’t have to! This is the exact title from this morning’s Arab Times.
By Muneef Naif
Special to the Arab Times and Agencies
‘Men in veil’ kidnap, rob woman, rape attempted
KUWAIT : Police are looking for three unidentified persons wearing veils — one woman and two men dressed as women — for kidnapping a 33-year-old Kuwaiti woman, stealing her handbag containing KD 130 and a gold chain, reports Al-Anba daily.
The woman in her complaint told the Fahaheel police the trio bundled her in their Suburban and took her to an unidentified location. One of the men also tried to rape her inside the vehicle.
The trio then tied her and kept her in the vehicle, until the woman went sold the chain in a gold market and returned with the money. Then they dumped her at an unidentified location and escaped.
An Asian passerby reportedly untied the woman after she had been struggling to set herself free for over an hour and a half.
Update – I think this is the same story because so many specifics are the same, but this is how the story appears in the Kuwait Times:
Masked Men Rob, Gag Kuwaiti Woman
A 38 year old Kuwaiti woman registered a complaint with Fahaheel police that, at 9pm, as she walked to her car after a shopping trip, three masked man (sic) dragged her forcibly into a four-wheel drive and kidnapped her. She said the men were also accompanied by a woman wearing aveil who, along the way, snatched a gold bracelet from her wrist and sold it at a jewelry shop. The men snatched her handbag, which contained KD 130 and then tied her arms and legs and abandoned her in a dark open area. An asian expatriate passing by spotted the woman and untied her arms. She later reported the matter to police, and the case is under investigation.
Gout and Soda
I used to drink Diet Coke, and every now and then, like once every six months, I might have a small Coke, a real coke, a classic coke, but for the most part, I haven’t missed drinking soda.
AdventureMan gave up sodas in November, and hasn’t touched one since. Not only are they full of empty calories, they also make you burp. They can give you heartburn. There are studies that show they may be related to the epidemic of obesity we are seeing, and they may tip vulnerable people into diabetes.
In today’s Kuwait Times, there is one more reason to give up sodas. Studies have shown a connection between drinking sodas and gout (Wikipedia:
Signs and symptoms
The classic picture is of excruciating, sudden, unexpected, burning pain, swelling, redness, warmness and stiffness in the joint. Low-grade fever may also be present. The patient usually suffers from two sources of pain. The crystals inside the joint cause intense pain whenever the affected area is moved. The inflammation of the tissues around the joint also causes the skin to be swollen, tender and sore if it is even slightly touched. For example, a blanket or even the lightest sheet draping over the affected area could cause extreme pain.
Gout usually attacks the big toe (approximately 75 percent of first attacks); however, it also can affect other joints such as the ankle, heel, instep, knee, wrist, elbow, fingers, and spine. In some cases, the condition may appear in the joints of small toes that have become immobile due to impact injury earlier in life, causing poor blood circulation that leads to gout.)
I found a link to the full length Reuters article Sugary drinks raise risk of gout in men, which you can read by clicking on the blue text.
Adventures in Banking
Sometimes when I am faced with a difficult task, I just put it off. I put it off and put it off – it’s not such a bad strategy, really, as sometimes the problem can go away, or be overcome by events, or solves itself. Most of the time, I reach some point where I am required, finally, to deal with the problem.
I needed money. I had money in my bank, but I didn’t know how to get it. I called the bank to ask how to get money moved from this account to that account.
“No problem, habeebti (dear one),” the customer services lady said, when I explained my problem. Not only did she solve my problem, but she gave me a grin that lasted for the rest of the day. I’ve never had a bank employee call me “dear one” before.
When I would need money, I would go in to the Women’s Bank. It was cool – only women, no important men pushing their way in front. Sometimes we would drink tea as I sat at the desk and filled out the withdrawal form. It all worked fine until they broke off a separate Islamic bank, and I was banking with the non-Islamic side, so I had to use the regular bank.
One time, when I was withdrawing funds to pay for a trip, the customer at the next customer service desk looked just like Saddam Hussein. The customer service woman at that desk was explaining to him that yes, he had checks but he could only write checks for the funds he had deposited in the bank. You could see he got the part about having checks, and writing checks, but this part about funds in the bank to cover the checks – what was that? He looked puzzled, and fierce, and angry, and he argued with the woman, and thought she was messing with him.
Now, I needed to have my name listed on an account my husband had set up for me. After months of putting off the inevitable, including trips to the bank to actually get it done, only to find that branch of the bank was closed, we finally got to the right bank, together, and the bank was opened.
We explained to the receptionist what we wanted, a joint account. He looked at my husband:
“You want her on your account?” (the tone was disbelief)
(Husband nods)
“But WHY??”
(We look at him in astonishment.)
“No. It is not possible.”
(We drop our jaws.)
Then he pats my husband on the back, laughs (he was joking) and takes us to the place where this is done.
We go through the routine again, with the teller. Again, we get astonishment.
We are sent to an office, where paperwork is prepared. In actuality, my name will not be on the account, but I will have access to the account. I don’t know why. No one could ever explain it, other than that is the way it works.
Just to be sure, once my name is – well, not on the account, but allowed to use the account – I give it a try, to make sure it works.
At first, it doesn’t, but then the customer service guy comes by and tells the teller it is OK and voila! I have money! Later in the week, I will try it at an ATM to see if this really works. I’ve gotten cynical. It’s not Kuwait; I have had trouble using ATMs in my own little home town, too. It’s like ATM voodoo.
This bank has small vases of flowers everywhere; the flowers look fresh. There is a system, with taking a number and waiting your turn, and even the very important man who tried to cut the line is told, very politely, that he must take a number. I’m impressed. The bank employees are all very polite, seem to know their jobs, and although it seems our seemingly simple – to us – request is outside their norm, they work hard to accomodate us. All in all, I would give the customer service at this bank an A.
But best of all, I secretly like it that the customer service woman on the telephone calls me “dear one.”
Tips for an Exceptional, Superb and Powerful Life
I was at an utter loss for a blog entry today, when I was blessed to receive this from a wonderful friend in Qatar. Many thanks, Grammy!
Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life!
1) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
2) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3) Buy a Tivo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4) When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to________ today.’
5) Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6) Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did last year.
7) Always pray and make time to exercise.
8) Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of Six.
9) Dream more while you are awake.
10) Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in
plants.
11) Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds
& walnuts.
12) Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13) Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14) Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative
thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class….but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17) Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18) Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
19) Life is too sho rt to waste time hating anyone.
20) Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21) You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22) Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
23) Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24) Ladies – Go on and burn those ‘special’ scented candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good china and wear our fancy lingerie now. Stop waiting for a special occasion. Everyday is special.
25) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26) Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27.) Forgive everyone for everything.
28) What other people think of you is none of your business.
29) Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!
30) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31) Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch with them.
32) Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
33) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides remember?!
34) The best is yet to come. (in Heaven)
35) No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36) Do the right thing!
37) Call your family often.
38) Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: ‘I am thankful for __________.’ Today I accomplished _________.
39) Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
40) Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast
pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
Please share with friends!
“Hello! My Name is Heather . . . “
Every now and then, one of my readers writes to me. Most of the time, it is on an issue, and behind the blog we have a great conversation. (I learn so much from you, my readers.) 🙂
Occasionally, I will get one that makes the little hairs on the back of my neck rise up. I wish I had saved the one I got that started “Hello! My name is Heather (last name) and I live in (small-town) Iowa, and I would like your permission to share your (wonderful) blog with my friends.”
She went on to tell me a little about herself. I don’t know why – there was something about the letter that made me uncomfortable, and I have learned to trust those feelings.
I wrote to her and told her she was welcome to share my site, that anyone could visit, they were welcome. I didn’t share any personal details in return.
Her next e-mail coming back told me a whole lot about her life, and . . . it didn’t ring true. I don’t know why. When your instincts are telling you something is not right, you just MUST listen.
At the end, she asked who I really was, and where I was from and more oh-now-that-we’re-such-good-friends kinds of questions. Bingo. It felt like the whole thing had been set up to ask me that very question. I wrote back, as I always do, that I blog as Intlxpatr for a reason, and that I protect my anonymity.
Funny. I never heard from “her” again. I don’t believe a word she said, including I don’t know that I was corresponding with a woman, much less a woman named Heather.
Why on earth would anyone target me?
My friends, there are crazy people out there, people who think differently from you and me. No matter how good someone sounds, no matter how trustworthy, this is a virtual world, not a real world, and if you gut tells you to beware – then listen. Listen to that gut feeling, listen to the hairs on the back of your neck, and listen to that uneasiness . . . something is not right.
Given enough time, most scams and cons just can’t keep up the deception.
I once worked for an organization which would give emergency loans. I was pretty good, and pretty fast at putting a loan together, and verifying that the loan was needed. One day, a man came in with a serious problem, and with him was his boss, verifying his need. He had all the right papers, too. I made the loan.
Not two months later his boss came in to me with a hangdog look and said “I have to tell you about (so-and-so).”
He had been dealing drugs and had serious problems. His boss had vouched for him. The guy was clean cut and articulate and knew how to present himself. He had all the right papers – and both his boss and I were totally fooled. The boss brought the guy in to apologize to me – he was on his way to jail and he would never repay the loan; I had to write it off. The con-man looked at me and apologized sincerely, and gave me one piece of really really great advice:
“The reason they call us con-men is because we are really good at what we do. We make you believe us.”
Con-men fail in many other areas of their lives – anything that requires consistency and a long term commitment. They can’t perform under scrutiny over time – it’s mostly wires and mirrors and smoke, and it all falls apart when it is examined too closely.
Con-men also create drama that make you feel YOU have to commit now. They have deadlines, and terrible consequences. When you feel that happening in your life, take a deep breath. Slow things down. When you feel unduly rushed, when someone is pushing you for a quick decision on a major issue – that is the time to SLOW WAY DOWN, to examine closely, to give a situation some time. There are con-men and con-women in every culture.
“Heather” – or whoever “she” really was – has agendas you and I can’t begin to imagine. She/He may need money (they often do!) or your connections. He or she may just like messing with people’s lives.
Listen to your instincts, and take your time. Take a deep breath, relax – YOU set your own timeline. Ask around, ask if anyone you know has had experience with a similar approach, especially on the internet. Protect yourself. Protect yourself. Protect yourself.
Winter at Tanureen
We love taking visitors to Tanureen, in Fehaheel. We love sitting out in those little cabinets. If we take friends with children, we love sitting near the playground, where the children can come and go, we can keep an eye on them and still have some grown-up conversation over dinner. What a great place!
In the winter, we have to eat inside the tent. It’s not so bad, as long as people aren’t smoking cigarettes. I like the smell of the shisha smoke, even though it isn’t my thing.
Because most of the year we eat outside, I hadn’t really noticed the funny decorations inside – a pioneer type wagon, a chef and a Gulf-dressed mannequin serving coffee!
All the food is good, the shish taouk, the mixed grills, but most of all, we like the grilled shrimp and the grilled hammour. We even eat the french fries, but . . . health conscious though we are, we usually don’t eat the vegetables!
Sue Monk Kidd: Mermaid Chair
It took me a long time to buy this book, and an even longer time to read it. I kept reading the description, and I didn’t like it at all. But it kept popping up on the “recommended for you” list on Amazon, and I had this inner feeling that I was meant to read it, even if I didn’t particularly care to.
After treating myself to Leon and Bowen, I thought now was the time.
At first I found The Mermaid Chair a little Anne Rivers Siddon-ish – and I like Anne Rivers Siddons, and I don’t like imitations, which this felt like. And I thought to myself “Anne Rivers Siddons does it better.”
I kept reading, though. The book was intriguing, and I wanted to know what happened next.
Sue Monk Kidd wrote another book I really liked called The Secret Life of Bees in which I learned a lot about bees, and found the story wonderfully redemptive.
Sue Monk Kidd and Anne Rivers Siddons also share a love of the mystical, and the mystical in religion, and the mystical in human relationships, and the mystical in the sisterhood of women, all of which I find fascinating, and parts of which I would like to believe myself.
In this book, there is a lot going on. The main character is feeling stagnant and small, and invisible in her marriage. Her daughter has left for college, and she is oddly unable to find things in life to interest her. Then, her mother cuts off her finger, her mother’s friends call her to come to Egret Island, and she finds herself suddenly caught up in a whirlwind of emotions and torments that she can barely understand.
She has avoided returning to her Egret Island home to avoid the pain of her father’s death when she was 12, and her mother’s decent into moodiness and madness. She returns, meets a monk and falls in love, copes badly with her mother’s demons, and fights her way through her own personal crisis.
Sue Monk Kidd makes it all work. The work floats with artistic references; Gaugain, Matisse, Chagall, their mysterious, delightful women in particular float throught this book in Mermaid guises, and our heroine, Jessie Sullivan, discovers her own mermaid-within.
I won’t say that this is the best book I have ever read – it isn’t. I will say that I loved reading it. I loved the feel of living on Egret Island, with the tides and the birds and the small town friends, the local dog, the raininess and windiness of it all. I feel like I was there. I know the graveyard, I know the winding paths, I know those little golf carts everyone uses to get around. I know what it’s like to have to take a ferry to get to the mainland, I know the tidal currents of life’s more overwhelming moments.
As our Jessie binds her marriage back together, she says this:
Each day we pick our way through unfamiliar terrain. Hugh and I did not resume our old marriage – that was never what I wanted, and it was not what Hugh wanted either – rather we laid it aside and began a whole new one. Our love is not the same. It feels both young and old to me. It feels wise, as an old woman is wise after a long life, but also fresh and tender, something we must cradle and protect. We have become closer in some ways, the pain we experienced weaving tenacious lines of intimacy, but there is a separateness as well, the necessary distance. . . . .
I tell him, smiling, that it was the mermaids who brought me home. I mean, to the water and the mud and the pull of the tides in my own body. To the solitary island submerged so long in myself, which I desperately needed to find. But I also try to explain they brought me home to him. I’m not sure he understands any more than I do how belonging to myself allows me to belong more truly to him. I just know it’s true.”
This is a good read. It’s worth its reputation, it’s worth picking up and reading through. While some might think it’s very much a chick book, I suspect men reading it might also find a lot with which to identify. You can find this book at Amazon.com (disclosure: yes, I own shares in Amazon) for about $11.20.
Recent Comments
intlxpatr on Shampoo Ginger tigerbutterya0c5ff1d… on Shampoo Ginger intlxpatr on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… John on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… intlxpatr on British Soldier Kidnapped, Esc… Wikipedia Donate Button
Amazina
Early Voting in Florida
Here There and Everywhere 