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Expat wanderer

Morality Police Accuse Married Couple of Being Alone Together

This is one weird story. Saw it in today’s Kuwait Times, but it is not on the online version, so I had to copy it from the Arab News website. The woman’s family and the man’s family all verified that this couple are married, but they are continually harassed by the morality police, saying they are not married.

Vice cops accused of attacking married couple in Madinah
Fatima Sidiya I Arab News

JEDDAH: A 22-year-old Saudi woman told Arab News yesterday that she and her husband of four years were stopped on a road by the religious police of Al-Jurf, west of the holy city of Madinah, accused of being an unrelated man and woman in an illegal state of seclusion (khulwa) at about 1 a.m. on Sunday.

“As we were driving home, my husband and I realized we were being followed by three men in a car,” said the woman, who did not want her name published. “They were coming from both sides of the car and (at one point in the chase) were also in front of our car. I was afraid of having an accident. The whole scene looked just like something in a movie.”

She also said that because no police officer was accompanying the three members of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, her husband was afraid to stop. Eventually, the commission vehicle got in front of the car they were pursuing and forced the couple to stop, according to the woman.

Abdullah Al-Zahrani, the head of the Madinah branch of the commission, confirmed to Arab News yesterday that the commission was tailing the couple, but he maintains that the three commission members did not abuse the suspects. He also claims that the two are not married.

“The woman is neither his wife nor his cousin,” said Al-Zahrani.

When asked if the police, in response to the woman’s complaint, had questioned the commission members over what happened early Sunday morning, he said the police did not seek any clarification. “The police did not question the commission members, as they (the commission) are a monitoring body, which hands suspects over to the police for further investigation,” he said.

The couple has filed a complaint and the Commission for Investigation and Prosecution is looking into the case.

Relatives have come out in defense of the commission’s denial that the two are married. According to the woman, a commission member told her husband: “If you bring everybody in your family to tell me she is your wife, I will not believe them. You are lying; she is not your wife.”

According to the woman, she and her husband had been visiting her husband’s family and decided to return home late at night.

After the two were pulled over, said the woman, “one of them pulled my arm and was shouting at me, telling me to get into their car. I was shocked. How could a man from the commission touch a woman when he is not her mahram (a woman’s legal male escort or guardian)? He ordered me to get into the commission car and said they would keep everything secret in order to protect my reputation.”

The commission considers unrelated men and women in cars to be committing the moral crime of khulwa.

The woman said that her husband objected to her treatment, and asked the men to take him in custody instead. At that point, the woman said an older man who happened to be passing by intervened and protested against the commission members touching a woman, “but the commission member told him that I had forced him to do so.”

The woman says that two of the commission members got into her husband’s car with her and accused her of being an immoral woman for being out late at night with an unrelated man. The members of the commission also said that the woman had committed a crime and that she therefore deserved to be punished.

“This is the first time I have seen anything like this,” she said. “One of the members was totally unreasonable and was aggressive from the start. He didn’t want to hear anything that contradicted his set ideas and beliefs. He looked to be in his late 20s. Only one of the three was rational and wanted to talk to us away from the public eye. But he then went and got into their car. The members refused to come to the police during the investigation and said that I had insulted them. I did no such thing; I simply told them over and over: ‘I swear to God that I am this man’s wife.’”

The woman said that after hearing what had happened, her brothers went to the commission branch in Al-Jurf, furious and telling the commission members to stay away from their sister.

She said a commission member then hit one of her brothers and broke his nose.

“My brother became unconscious and an ambulance came and took him to the hospital,” she said.

Then, in anger another brother erroneously went to the wrong commission center to retaliate against the attack on his brother. He was then arrested.

But the police reportedly released the two brothers after confirming their identities. The woman claims that the local police view this particular branch of the commission as problematic.

Maj. Muhsin Al-Radadi, a spokesman for the Madinah police, said that the only reports they received about this incident were about the brother who went to the incorrect commission center.

“The commission members (at Al-Azizia commission branch) were attacked in their offices by a young man,” he said, adding that he wouldn’t comment on hearsay regarding the other events.

“We were not doing anything that was remotely immoral or inappropriate,” said the woman. “Even my eyes were covered. The members shamed us in the area where we live and my husband and I cannot now go out of the house.”

She says that the incident has instilled fear in her about venturing out of the house.

“I will not go to a public place or anywhere in a car unless a lot of my family is with me,” she said.

October 8, 2008 Posted by | Community, Family Issues, Law and Order, Living Conditions, Marriage, News, Relationships, Saudi Arabia, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 7 Comments

“Illusions Driving Market Havok”

A fascinating article in today’s BBC News sheds light on our cascading stock markets. . . it isn’t rational, but it is explainable:

‘Illusions driving market havoc’

City traders may be seeing patterns that ‘aren’t really there’

The mind naturally creates illusions and superstitions at times of stress – and this could be adding to the global financial crisis, say scientists.

US researchers say feeling “out of control” makes us more likely to misinterpret information as we search for signs of order.

The study in the journal Science found investment decisions of volunteers were adversely affected by these feelings.

Simple psychological techniques might improve their performance, they said.

The researchers, from the University of Texas and Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, believe that humans cope with feeling out of control by trying to impose order subconsciously – even in situations where there is none.

At a simple level, they demonstrated the principle by asking volunteers to look for images embedded in “snowy pictures”.

Those whose feelings of control had earlier been undermined were more likely to claim to have seen an image, even where none existed.

However, the researchers believe that other kinds of illusion, from conspiracy theories to superstitions, stem from the same basic subconscious problem, and that it may be contributing to the current havoc on the world’s financial markets.

Read the entire article Here.

October 7, 2008 Posted by | Community, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Interconnected, Living Conditions, News | Leave a comment

Good Samaritan

This is from today’s Arab Times, but I think there was a very brief write-up of it before – a Kuwaiti, coming out of mosque during Ramadan, saw her walking naked and dazed down the street, wrapped a “cloth” – I am guessing his gutra – around her and took her to the hospital. I remember thinking what a good, decent man this was, coming from mosque, during Ramadan, having compassion on this poor abused woman. Or maybe that was another, totally separate incident where four young men abduct, gang rape, and dump an Ethiopian maid. (sigh)

Police hunt gang rapists: Police are looking for four young men who allegedly kidnapped and raped an Ethiopian girl, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.

Police received information about a girl in a semi-naked state in Kabad and rushed to rescue her. The girl said four youths dumped her in the middle of the road after having forced sex with her successively.

I tag this Women’s Issues, but if you read the papers, you will know that young men are as vulnerable to abduction and gang rape as young women.

October 6, 2008 Posted by | Community, Crime, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Law and Order, Living Conditions, News, Relationships, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 2 Comments

Kuwait Adopts Islamic Jurisprudence?

From today’s Kuwait Times:

KUWAIT: MP Dr. Waleed Al-Tabtabae said that several MPs plan to amend the second Article of the Kuwaiti Constitution and adopt Islamic jurisprudence as the main source of legislation in Kuwait. They will also push for amending other laws in accordance with the Islam as they feel that Islamic laws can effectively ward off crimes, theft, alcohol, drugs, adultery and sexual assaults.

October 6, 2008 Posted by | Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Health Issues, Kuwait, Law and Order, Living Conditions, News, Social Issues, Women's Issues | 7 Comments

Evening Twist

Tonight I was unaccountably organized, and realized I had exactly 21 1/2 minutes to spare before dinner was finished cooking (something it could do in the oven all by itself with no additional help from me) and . . . the light was going to that almost-sunset shade of somewhere-between=pink=and=blue that mesmerizes me.

While out the window on the other side of the house, an apocalyptic sun is setting:

I am telling you, sunrise in Kuwait is a piece of cake. Sunset – now there is a challenge. You still have time. I know there are possibilities. Show me a beautiful sunset in Kuwait. Don’t be intimidated by AbdulAziz – he LOVES photography and has been shooting for a long time. Find your own unique point of view.

As you can see, it is a challenge for me, too. I don’t like industrial looking sunsets, which seem to be fairly standard in Kuwait. There has to be a fabulous sunset possible. There must be!

Meanwhile, did you notice in the almost-purple shot above, there are no fishing boats on the horizon? This is how it looked just an hour and a half ago:

So many boats! And minutes later – they are all gone! For nights, their lights have been a necklace across the horizon, and now they are gone. How do they know? I can still see patches of twitchy water – how do they know?

By the way – look at that sea! Look at the color! Look at the blue sky! Wooo hoooo, October in Kuwait!

October 5, 2008 Posted by | ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Photos, Random Musings, Weather | , | 2 Comments

Give to Everyone Who Begs From You

Months ago, I wrote a post about people asking for money in Kuwait, and when should you give and when should you not. It’s a problem that bothers all of us from time to time – when to be generous, and when are you throwing your money away?

Here, the instructions are clear – give to everyone who begs from you.

To me, that means keeping money on hand that I am comfortable will feed someone for a day – half a dinar to a dinar. Bread, beans, water . . .

When we lived in Tunis, my husband had his own beggqr – a man who came by the house from time to time. One time my husband followed him home, and when he came back, he said no matter how much we give this man, it will never be enough, he and his family live in a hovel. When the man came to us with a wound on his arm, my husband took him to the clinic and saw that he was cared for properly. The truth turned out to be that it benefited my husband, and our family, in the long run to be in a relationship with this beggar.

I’ve been taken by cons – the dripping medical bag, the fake leg gash – and I still believe it is better for us to error on the side of compassion.

Luke 6:27-38

27 ‘But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 ‘If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again.

35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return.* Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

37 ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; 38 give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.’

October 4, 2008 Posted by | Charity, Community, Cross Cultural, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Health Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, Relationships, Social Issues | 12 Comments

Discreetly, Little Diamond!

We all have things that grate on our ears – my pet peeve is people saying they are “anxious” when they are really “eager.” I was typing away today, and remembered one of my niece Little Diamond’s pet peeves – Discrete vs. Discreet. I am sorry to say, once again, I had to look it up:

I drank my coffee discreetly, Little Diamond, while counting 20 discrete fishing boats on the horizon.

October 1, 2008 Posted by | ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Language, Relationships, Words | | 5 Comments

Who Has the Disability?

My good friend sent me this today, and I want to share it with you, on this, hopefully the last day of Ramadan:

 

GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED
 
I envy Kevin. My brother, Kevin, thinks God lives under his bed. At least that’s what I heard him say one night.
 
He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen, ‘Are you there, God?’ he said. ‘Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed…’
 
I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin’s unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor.  I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in.
 
He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he’s 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult.
 
He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them.
 
I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life?
 
Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner, and later to bed.
 
The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child.
 
He does not seem dissatisfied.
 
He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work.
 
He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day’s laundry chores.
 
And Saturdays – oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That’s the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. ‘That one’s goin’ to Chi-car-go! ‘ Kevin shouts as he claps his hands.
 
His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.
 
And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips.
 
He doesn’t know what it means to be discontent.
 
His life is simple.
 
He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be.
 
His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it.
 
He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax..
 
He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others. His heart is pure.
 
He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue.
 
Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God.
 
Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child.. Kevin seems to know God – to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an ‘educated’ person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.
 
In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith.
 
It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions.
 
It is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap. I am. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances – they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God’s care.
 
Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.
 
And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I’ll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed.
 
Kevin won’t be surprised at all!

September 29, 2008 Posted by | Community, Cross Cultural, Family Issues, Health Issues, Interconnected, Relationships, Social Issues, Spiritual | 7 Comments

Loneliness Makes You Cold

A recent study presented on BBC Health News shows that those who are excluded or left out feel colder than those who are included.

Loneliness ‘makes you cold’

Turning up the thermometer could lighten your mood

Loneliness and coldness are often associated in everyday language, but psychologists have found that social isolation does make people feel cold.

The University of Toronto team found people feeling excluded said a room was colder than those feeling included.

And people who felt left out also chose comforting hot soup, rather than an apple or soft drink.
A UK psychologist said the findings could help people feeling isolated, particularly in the winter months.

‘Unpopular’
In the first study, 65 students were divided into two groups.

One group recalled a personal experience in which they had been socially excluded and felt isolated or lonely, such as being rejected from a club.

The other group recalled an experience in which they had been accepted.
The researchers then asked everyone to estimate the room’s temperature.

The estimates varied from about 54F (12C) to 104F (40C) – with those who had thought about an isolating experience giving lower estimates of the temperature.

In the second experiment, the researchers asked 52 students to play a computer-simulated ball game.

It was designed so that some of the volunteers had the ball tossed to them many times, but others were left out.

Afterwards, all the volunteers were asked to rate the desirability of hot coffee, crackers, soft-drinks, an apple, or hot soup.

The “unpopular” participants were much more likely than the others to want either hot soup or hot coffee.

The researchers suggest their preference for warm food and drinks resulted from physically feeling cold as a result of being excluded.

‘Coping mechanism’
Dr Chen-Bo Zhong, who led the research, which is published in the journal Psychological Science, said: “We found that the experience of social exclusion literally feels cold.

September 28, 2008 Posted by | Community, Cross Cultural, Family Issues, Health Issues, News, Relationships | 2 Comments

Travel Advisory

Just in time for Eid travel . . .

The truth is – I feel safe here. The truth is also that it only takes one crazy person, or one small group of crazies, and bizarre and terrible things can happen.

To: All American Wardens

From: Consular Section

Subject: Warden Notice 2008 – 18

Please circulate the following message without additions or omissions
immediately to all American citizens within your area of responsibility.

Begin Text.

TRAVEL ALERT – ARABIAN PENINSULA AND PERSIAN GULF

1. This Travel Alert is being issued to warn Americans about heightened security
concerns in and around the Arabian Peninsula and Persian Gulf. U.S. citizens
traveling to or already in the region are reminded to maintain a high level of
vigilance and to take appropriate steps to increase their security awareness.
This Travel Alert expires on February 22, 2009.

2. The security threat level in the Arabian Peninsula and Persian Gulf region
remains high after the September 17 terrorist attack on the U.S. Embassy in
Sana’a, Yemen, in which several security personnel and innocent bystanders,
including one U.S. citizen, were killed. Credible information indicates that
al-Qaida and affiliated organizations continue to plan attacks against U.S.
interests in the region. These attacks may employ a wide variety of tactics
including suicide operations, assassinations, kidnappings, hijackings and
bombings. While conventional weapons such as explosive devices are a more
immediate threat in many areas, the use of non-conventional weapons, including
chemical or biological agents, must be considered a possible threat. Terrorists
do not distinguish between official and civilian targets. Increased security at
official U.S. facilities may lead terrorists and their sympathizers to seek
softer targets such as public transportation, residential areas
, and public areas where people congregate, including restaurants, hotels,
clubs, and shopping areas.

3. Potential targets are not limited to those companies or establishments with
overt U.S. ties. For instance, terrorists may target movie theaters, liquor
stores, bars, casinos, or any similar type of establishment, regardless of
whether they are owned and operated by host country nationals. Due to varying
degrees of security at all such locations, U.S. citizens should be particularly
vigilant when visiting these establishments. From time to time, the Embassy
may restrict official Americans from restaurants, hotels, or shopping areas.
U.S. citizens should exercise caution and take prudent security measures,
including maintaining a high level of vigilance, avoiding crowds and
demonstrations, keeping a low profile, varying times and routes for all travel,
and ensuring travel documents are current.

4. U.S. citizens living or traveling abroad are encouraged to register with the
nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate through the State Department’s travel
registration web site at https://travelregistration.state.gov/ibrs/ui/ so that
they can obtain updated information on travel and security. Americans without
Internet access may register directly with the nearest U.S. Embassy or
Consulate. By registering, American citizens make it easier for the Embassy or
Consulate to contact them in case of emergency.

5. U.S. Government facilities worldwide remain at a heightened state of alert.
These facilities may temporarily close or periodically suspend public services
to assess their security posture. In those instances, U.S. embassies and
consulates will make every effort to provide emergency services to U.S.
citizens. Americans abroad are urged to monitor the local news and maintain
contact with the nearest U.S. Embassy or Consulate.

6. As the Department continues to develop information on any potential security
threats to U.S. citizens overseas, it shares credible threat information through
its Consular Information Program documents, including the Worldwide Caution,
available on the Internet at http://travel.state.gov.

In addition to information on the Internet, travelers may obtain up-to-date
information on security conditions by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll-free in the
U.S. and Canada or,outside the U.S. and Canada on a regular toll line at
1-202-501-4444. These numbers are available from 8:00 am to 8:00 pm Monday
through Friday, Eastern Time (except U.S. federal holidays.)
End Text.

American citizens with any questions or concerns may telephone the Embassy at
259-1581, 259-1583 or 259-1240. In case of an emergency outside business hours,
American citizens may reach the Embassy duty officer by calling 259-1001.

For the latest security information, Americans should regularly monitor the
Department’s web site at http://travel.state.gov, where the current Worldwide
Caution, Travel Warnings, and Travel Alerts can be found. Up-to-date information
on security can also be obtained by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll free in the
U.S., or, for callers outside the U.S. and Canada, a regular toll line at
1-202-501-4444. These numbers are available from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern
Time, Monday through Friday (except U.S. federal holidays.)

This message may be accessed on the Embassy website, http://kuwait.usembassy.gov

American citizens in Kuwait who would like to receive future Warden Messages
from the Embassy directly by e-mail may sign up for this service by sending an
e-mail to the following address: join-wardenmessagekuwait@mh.databack.com

American citizens resident and visiting in Kuwait who are not registered with
the Embassy, or whose registration information has changed, are urged to
register as soon as possible.

September 25, 2008 Posted by | Community, ExPat Life, Family Issues, Kuwait, Living Conditions, News, Political Issues, Social Issues | 5 Comments