Welcome Rain in Kuwait
AdventureMan is snuggling up against me, shivering in the cold, Qatteri Cat is snuggled up close on the other side, and I can hear the wind howling at our bedroom window. It sounds like an Arctic blizzard; the wind is relentless. It feels so good to be in bed, to be able to go back to sleep, so warm and cozy, and then AdventureMan whispers “It’s raining outside.”
Three minutes later, I am up and out of bed, going to the closet for old towels.
Kuwait isn’t built for rain. Our beautiful big windows were sealed . . . once. I think the heat has destroyed the seals. When we get a serious rain, I get some serious leakage. It dribbles onto the windowsills and then slithers across the floor. I have to get the towels in place immediately, or I have a real mess.
And, (sigh) once I am up, I am up. I brew the coffee, run some water to wash up some dishes and watch the day lighten incrementally – no sunrise today, but I love the sound of the raindrops falling, falling, falling.
We need more. The rain is an occasion for joy, here, not like in Seattle, where we get so much rain that we take it for granted.
Rain on the Gulf:
Rain on the windows:
When AdventureMan Retires
“When we retire,” AdventureMan begins as we are driving down the street, “I want a tree like that in our front yard.”
This isn’t the first time he has said such a thing.
You know, where you live there are rules, and sometimes those rules aren’t written down. If you violate the rules, people say mean things like “they must not be from around here.”
Like in my neighborhood, most of the houses have some grey in their color. It’s the Pacific Northwest. The sky is grey. Sometimes the sea is grey. People get used to grey, and they paint their houses grey, like blue-grey or brown-grey or green-grey, but always some kind of grey in the color. It’s just the way things are done.
Here, sometimes a house is painted very brightly, like egg yolk yellow, not a hint of grey. Bright bright orange, not a hint of grey. At first, it is shocking to the eye, but in six months, the color mellows with the bright sunlight, and fades to a soothing sand-yellow, or sand-orange.
This is what AdventureMan thinks would look great in our front yard:
Or maybe he is just yanking on my chain? đ
“Ban Valentine’s Day Celebrations”
(Yawn)
I hate it when I can’t find the entry all typed up for me in one of the local online versions of the newspaper; it means I have to type the whole thing in by myself. I guess all the newspapers felt this was to ho-hum to put on the online edition.
Live from the Kuwait Times:
Ban Valentine’s Day Celebrations
KUWAIT: MPs have spung to action earlier than usual. They have urged the government to ban any form of Valentine’s Day celebrations on February 14. Lawmakers have asked the MInister of Commerce and Industry to see it that Kuwaiti traditions and values are fully observed, reported Al Watan. Speaking in this regard, MP Mohammed Hayef al-Mutairi urged the Commerce minister, Ahmed Baqer to ban the import of merchandise related to celebrating the “heathen occasion” (allusion to Valentine’s Day). He also warned local companies against displaying any of these goods for sale.
“This is against Islam and misleads our youth” he said. MP Abdullatif Al Omairi said that celebrating this day was a ‘blind imitation of the West.’ It is something that does not belong to us, something that is completely alien to our society, morals and traditions,” he warned. He urged the government to interfere and preserve Muslim values. “There are only two Eids in Islam. We should not celebrate Christians’ festivities because they do not celebrate ours,” he said.
As if celebrating Valentine’s Day could be stopped! As if a loving husband doesn’t invite his wife to dinner, or as if a loving wife doesn’t fix something special for her husband just because, just because. As if you won’t buy chocolates for your sweetheart, or flowers, whether or not there is a Valentine’s Day (February 14th) advertisement in a window. As if you can forbid the joyful celebration of a relationship. It’s not about a Christian holiday; this stopped being a religious holiday long ago, if it ever was, this holiday is purely about the joy of living. Not unlike Liberation Day, or a national day, neither of which are Islamic, and both of which are joyfully celebrated.
When will these lawmakers (and I include the lawmakers in all nations) learn that when you forbid something, you only make it more attractive?
In my country, we have some very serious national issues to tackle. I prefer that my lawmakers focus on national issues and not issues-of-choice to private individuals. (AdventureMan already knows where he is taking me on Valentine’s Day. đ See you there!)
Selfish Adults Damage Childhood
In a stunning and highly controversial report recently published in Britain, concludes that children’s lives in Britain have become “more difficult than in the past”, adding that “more young people are anxious and troubled”. Part of the controversy stems from the conclusions that part of what hurts children are working mothers, and fathers who leave their families.
Selfish adults ‘damage childhood’
By Mark Easton
BBC News Home Editor
The report says children’s lives are “more difficult than in the past”
The aggressive pursuit of personal success by adults is now the greatest threat to British children, a major independent report on childhood says.
It calls for a sea-change in social attitudes and policies to counter the damage done to children by society.
Family break-up, unprincipled advertising, too much competition in education and income inequality are mentioned as big contributing factors.
A panel of independent experts carried out the study over three years.
. . . . . . “Children with separate, single or step parents are 50% more likely to fail at school, have low esteem, be unpopular with other children and have behavioural difficulties, anxiety or depression,” it argues.
“Child-rearing is one of the most challenging tasks in life and ideally it requires two people,” the report concludes.
It also suggests that having many more working mothers has contributed to the damage done to children.
You can read the entire report on BBC News by clicking here.
This study is sure to cause a lot of dinner table conversations around the world – and Kuwait is no exception. Go read the report, so you can discuss it knowledgeably. đ
I worked, and I wanted to work, while child rearing, but there was a lot of guilt attached. I needed to work, not so much for the money as for the stimulation, and I have a lot of empathy for mothers who find themselves in the same circumstances. I was really lucky – I was able to find professional positions with part time hours my entire working life, until it was no longer a consideration. I honestly don’t know that I would have been a better mother staying home. And yet, here I am years later, stunned and dismayed when I read this report, and still wondering if I was too selfish. The report says working mothers are selfish. The report says it really takes two parents to raise a happy child. The report says men shouldn’t leave their families. There enough guilt to go around to everyone. đŚ
I’m interested in what you have to say; I ask only that you go read the article first.
Empty Nests Make for Happy Marriage
LLOOLL. To everyone’s great surprise, the results found the empty-nest marriages are HAPPIER than families with children. I think the message is HANG IN THERE! The study found that marital happiness plunged with the first child, and went further south with each addition. Children take time and attention, the more, the more chaotic. The study doesn’t say don’t have children, it just says there is a great satisfaction to having children who successfuly transition to adulthood.
This compilation of studies is reported in today’s New York Times. Clicking on the blue type will take you to the entire article.
The study is important because it tracks the first generation of women to juggle traditional family responsibilities with jobs in the work force. In the empty-nest study, researchers compared the womenâs marital happiness in their 40s, when many still had children at home; in their early 50s, when some had older children who had left home; and in their 60s, when virtually all had empty nests. At every point, the empty nesters scored higher on marital happiness than women with children still at home. The finding mirrors that of a report presented last year at the American Psychological Association, tracking a dozen parents who were interviewed at the time of a childâs high school graduation and 10 years later. That small study also showed that a majority of parents scored higher on marital satisfaction after children had left home.
While the Berkeley researchers had hypothesized that the improvement in marital happiness came from couplesâ spending more time together, the women in the same study reported spending just as much time with their partners whether the children were living at home or had moved out. But they said the quality of that time was better.
âThere are fewer interruptions and less stress when kids are out of the house,â said Dr. Gorchoff, at Berkeley. âIt wasnât that they spent more time with each other after the children moved out. Itâs the quality of time they spent with each other that improved.â
She notes that the lesson from the empty nest may be that parents need to work to carve out more stress-free time together. In the sample studied, it was only relationship satisfaction that improved when children left home. Over all, parents were just as happy with children at home as in the empty nest. (What happens when adult children move back home, their job prospects having evaporated in a brutal economy, has not been extensively studied.)
âKids arenât ruining parentsâ lives,â Dr. Gorchoff said. âItâs just that theyâre making it more difficult to have enjoyable interactions together.â
Rising Dowries in Kuwait an Obstacle to Marriage
From today’s <a href="“> Arab Times
Rising dowries key problem in failed marriages â survey
KUWAIT, Jan 17, (KUNA): Kuwaiti youth oppose vehemently the extremely high dowries and wedding expenses amid an economic and social downturn in the society due to the current economic crisis, according to a recent academic survey. Dowry is always a bone of contention among the families of bride and bridegroom, said the survey, carried out by the Kuwait University.
Young men are more critical of rising dowries than girls, the study entitled âSocial Value of Dowries in Kuwaiti Societyâ, showed. It highlighted the reality of dowries in Kuwait and their relative significance and social impacts, calling for taking into consideration gender differences and social and cultural changes. The survey involved a sample of 700 men and women aged between 20 and 56 from different areas in the six Kuwaiti governorates. It showed that 78 percent of the sample viewed dowries as exorbitantly high, 82.4 percent considered dowry as the key problem in surging wedding expenses, while 28.1 percent believed that Kuwaiti girls pay too much heed to dowry. The respondents are mostly dissatisfied with dowries, with 85.7 percent of the sampled men and 70 percent of the sampled women believing that dowries are too high.
Sometimes, it is the dowry which determines whether marriage can be completed due to familial hard-mindedness and intransigence, it said. The survey attributed surging dowries to womenâs employment, education, lack of acquaintance and girlsâ young age. It indicated common gender social awareness of social reflections of uncontrollably rising dowries on the entire Kuwaiti society. For instance, young men are now reluctant to marry Kuwaiti girls, resorting to non-Kuwaiti females, spinsterhood is growing and secret and unofficial marriage cases are mounting, it said. In conclusion, the survey recommended that the culture of moderation, especially regarding dowries, should be disseminated pursuant to the Islamic Shariaâ or Law in bid to alleviate the negative social effects of mounting dowries in the Kuwaiti society.
Young Kuwaiti men have told me that Kuwaiti women “cost too much”, that they would rather marry a hard-working Philipina girl, or a western woman, who will work and help with household expenses, than to borrow the money required to support a Kuwaiti woman.
A young Kuwaiti woman told me it is a growing problem for them, too, as they find themselves facing a dwindling pool of eligible bachelors, and that while the men are supposed to be able to support them in a style the same as they are supported by their father’s household, it doesn’t take into account that their fathers also did not always have so much money. It seems to be that both sexes have a clear idea of what the obstacles and problems are, but no one seems to know what to do about it.
Days of January Glory
“Come! Come look! It is a gorgeous sunrise!” AdventureMan calls as I step out of the shower, drying my hair. It is a rare day when he spots the sunrise instead of me, and he is right, it is a beautiful sunrise – the clouds give it depth and dimension.
Although we both have full days ahead, we take a moment to appreciate the sunrise together. Then, off in our separate directions, sometimes shouting from various parts of the house as we are getting ready but still trying to communicate before we go our separate ways.
The Qatteri Cat has found a place to enjoy the morning sunshine. It still feels cold this morning – and it is:
It is getting seriously warmer starting tomorrow, and I wonder if today will be the last real sweater day. I found this last week, it was constantly shifting from jacket and scarf and sweater to sweater and scarf, to sweater, and then back depending on whether we were in the car (hot hot hot) or walking where there was a stiff breeze or shade (jacket, scarf and sweater) or whether we were having a cup of coffee in the peak of the afternoon sitting outside in the sunshine (scarf and sweater). Life has become very fiddly with all this clothing.
Already, we are preparing for the warmer temperatures around the corner – February is paradise in Kuwait, with mild temperatures and sunshine every day.
Now – on! On! We have a busy day and need to get going! Have a great day, Kuwait!
Fighting Pornography
For the last week, I have been beset by some of the filthiest spam I have seen in a long time. Most of it goes straight to spam, thanks to WordPress’s effective filters, but occasionally, one passes. I think there is a major effort going on to test the filters and see what can get through. It puts pressure on me to check the blog frequently and eliminate anything I see that is inappropriate.
Most of this spam takes you to pornographic sites. I hate porn. It degrades those who indulge. It gives people an unrealistic idea of what sex is all about. It infects normal relations with unrealistic images and expectations. And those images are engraved on your brain, spoiling what is good and beautiful, smearing it with what you have taken in on those sleazy websites.
I have said it before and I will say it again – those women and men are PAID. They are doing those things because they were PAID. The animals are doing it because they are forced – as are some of the humans. It is like prostitution – no, yours is NOT the biggest they have ever seen, they are saying that because you are PAYING them.
That is fantasy. If you get your head straight, reality is 100 times better than this degradation can ever be.
You have a choice. Please choose NOT to support these websites, which are trying to appeal to the very weakest parts of your character. These websites are not just a crime against women and children – they are a weapon against the goodness of your own character.
I am now spraying this blog against filth. You are warned.
Ok To Marry 10 Year Old Girls – Saudi Arabia
This is just sad. I’m sorry, a ten year old girl is that – a girl. Any father knows that. She is precious and innocent, and still playing dolls and make believe. Few girls are even menstruating at 10. No girl, at 10, has the emotional and physical maturity to enter into a marriage. And this is the SENIOR Saudi Arabian cleric speaking? I’m sorry, this makes me sick to my stomach. It’s just wrong.
You don’t leave a ten year old alone – you get a babysitter. A ten year old belongs in school, a ten year old belongs with her mother.
This is from today’s Al Watan, right on the front page.
RIYADH: Saudi Arabia”s most senior cleric was quoted Wednesday as saying it is permissible for 10ŮyearŮold girls to marry and those who think they’re too young are doing the girls an injustice.
The mufti”s comments showed the conservative clergy’s opposition to a drive by Saudi rights groups, including government ones, to define the age of marriage and put an end to the phenomenon of child marriages.
“It is wrong to say it’s not permitted to marry off girls who are 15 and younger,” Sheik AbdulŮAziz AlŮSheikh, the country”s grand mufti, was quoted as saying.
“A female who is 10 or 12 is marriageable and those who think she’s too young are wrong and are being unfair to her,” he said during a Monday lecture, according to the panŮArab AlŮHayat newspaper.
AlŮSheikh”s comments come at a time when Saudi human rights groups have been pushing the government to put an end to marriages involving the very young and to define a minimum age for marriage. In the past few months, Saudi newspapers have highlighted several cases in which young girls were married off to much older men or very young boys.
Though the mufti’s pronouncements are respected and provide guidance, the government is not legally bound by them.
On Sunday, the governmentŮrun Human Rights Commission condemned marriages of minor girls, saying such marriages are an “inhumane violation” and rob children of their rights.
The commission’s statement followed a ruling by a court in Oneiza in central Saudi Arabia last month that dismissed a divorce petition by the mother of an eightŮyearŮold girl whose father married her off to a man in his 50s.
Newspaper reports said the court argued that the mother did not have the right to file such a case on behalf of her daughter and said that the petition should be filed by the girl when she reaches puberty.
Responding to a question about parents who force their underage daughters to marry, the mufti said: “We hear a lot about the marriage of underage girls in the media, and we should know that Islamic law has not brought injustice to women.”
The mufti said a good upbringing will make a girl capable of carrying out her duties as a wife and that those who say women should not marry before the age of 25 are following a “bad path.”
“Our mothers and before them, our grandmothers, married when they were barely 12,” said AlŮSheikh, according to AlŮHayat.
There are no statistics to show how many marriages involving children are performed in Saudi Arabia every year. And it’s also not clear whether these unions are on the rise or whether people are hearing about them more now because of the prevalence of media outlets and easy access to the Internet.
Activists say the girls are given away in return for hefty dowries or as a result of longŮstanding custom in which a father promises his infant daughters and sons to cousins out of a belief that marriage will protect them from illicit relationships. ŮAP
Last updated on Thursday 15/1/2009
I have a friend who says the mufti needs to come back in his next life as a young girl in Saudi Arabia. I think it might give his thought processes some clarity.
Kuwait Moonlight Magic
I should have guessed when I saw all the fishing boats gathering last night as the sun went down. As the day went all pink and lavender, and then deeper purple, you could see their lights bobbing not too far off shore.
Minutes later I cam back and was stunned – the moon was up, full and glimmering over the Gulf. It was magical.
“AdventureMan! Come look!” I called, because it is a great sorrow in our lives that many a full moon we have been in different cities. I don’t know why it matters to us, but it does. He will call me and say “there is a full moon tonight in Djibuti and we are not together!” or I will SMS him saying “there is a full moon tonight in Seattle, where are you?” There are times he will say “At least we are both on the same continent” or “At least we are both in the same time zone!” but it is still sad that we are not together. It matters to us, so to watch this great bright silver orb rise over the waters was a moment to be treasured.
There were wisps of clouds in the sky, so the moon is not sharp edged, but a little blobby. Nevertheless, it is a full moon and we are together. A good night to celebrate.
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