Compulsory premarital tests
From today’s Kuwait Times
KUWAIT: The Ministry of Health is preparing a draft law to make premarital blood tests compulsory for Kuwaiti citizens. It plans to refer the draft law to the Cabinet’s Fatwa and Legislative Department, which will then review it and suggest necessary amendments, reported Al-Rai. An official said that the committee would follow the standard procedure before referring it to Dr Ibraheem Al-Abdalhadi, the Ministry of Health’s Undersecretary, who in turn will refer it to the Minister of Health Roudhan Al-Roudhan. It will adopt the law immediately after different aspects of the law are approved by the department.
Does not clarify what the pre-marital tests will test for. I assume HIV/Aids, STDs . . . but will it also test genetic incompatibility?
The Wedding at Cana
This is one of my favorite readings in the Gospels, for all it’s humanity. Some scholars theorize that the wedding was close family – from living here, I had to eliminate all the European paintings which show the men and women celebrating together – I am guessing the wedding feast would be more like the ones held here; men and women celebrating separately.
Disaster – there isn’t enough wine for the guests. Mary goes to her son and tells him “there isn’t enough wine.” He responds with “Mom! I’m not ready!” I imagine her giving him a long, level look and then turning to the servants and saying “Do whatever he tells you to do.” She is his Mom, after all. And, ready or not, he honors his Mom, and the wine is good.
The Wedding at Cana
John 2:1-12
2 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine gave out, the mother of Jesus said to him, ‘They have no wine.’ 4 And Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.’ 5 His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’ 6 Now standing there were six stone water-jars for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. 7 Jesus said to them, ‘Fill the jars with water.’ And they filled them up to the brim. 8 He said to them, ‘Now draw some out, and take it to the chief steward.’ So they took it. 9 When the steward tasted the water that had become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward called the bridegroom 10 and said to him, ‘Everyone serves the good wine first, and then the inferior wine after the guests have become drunk. But you have kept the good wine until now.’ 11 Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.
12 After this he went down to Capernaum with his mother, his brothers, and his disciples; and they remained there for a few days.
NonStomped Roses
Thanks be to God for a sweet husband. He knows I love white roses, and that’s what he got me, with one mischievous red red rose stuck right in the middle. 😉
There is a shop in Kuwait we love, Au Nom de la Rose, where the flowers are always fresh, and beautiful, and put together naturally. AdventureMan says on Valentine’s Day, they were SO busy, but that the man in front of him, holding a bouquet, was trying to get a discount.
(whine! whine! whine!) said the man in front of him.
“Sir! This is not Mubarakiyya! This is fixed price! And you have already paid, why are you asking now for a discount?” said the polite but very very busy and professional manager. LOL!
We asked the manager how she liked working in Kuwait. (I am telling you this because her response was so totally unexpected, and delightful.)
“I LOVE working here!” she said. “The woman I work for, who owns the store, is wonderful to work for. I love my job, and she trusts me.”
She also gets paid a decent wage, and she gets paid on time. This is one of the happiest women I have met in Kuwait.
Au Nom de la Rose has more than one location, but the one we go to is next to Chocolat, next to Tumbleweeds, in that stretch of stores and restaurants near Bida’a circle. Expensive. Worth every fils. 🙂
No sunrise today. I can’t even see the sea. Whatever this is socking us in today – fog? sand? it is not orange, but it is THICK.
Qatteri Cat Gets Crazy
A windy night plays havok with getting a good night’s sleep, if you have a cat. It is just the way God made cats – any little strange noise and watch what happens – their ears go straight up, their eyes go on high alert and their posture is ready-for-action.
We had one cat, a cat born wild in Tunisia, and on a windy night in Germany, she would make us totally crazy. “I must go out! I must go out!” she would cry as the wind blew leaves fluttering across the patio and tree branches made strange motions in the shadows. I would struggle half-awake down the stairs, let her out the patio door, and 15 minutes later she would be crying down under my window “I’ve made a big mistake! It’s cold out here! Please come down and let me in!” and I would struggle down the stairs and let her in and tell her to settle down, that I wasn’t going to let her out again.
Her little brain can’t remember all that. An hour later, she would forget “cold” and was crazy with desire to be out where all the action was, once again. And the cycle continued. She had me trained. I was her door opener.
The Qatteri Cat doesn’t go out, but he gets wound up by the wind, as any cat will. AdventureMan calmed him down last night, and he curled up and went back to sleep. Guess AdventureMan will always be the favorite with the Qatteri Cat.
This is what Weather Underground Kuwait calls a “light haze.”
My windows are streaked with dust and humidity.
Welcome Rain in Kuwait
AdventureMan is snuggling up against me, shivering in the cold, Qatteri Cat is snuggled up close on the other side, and I can hear the wind howling at our bedroom window. It sounds like an Arctic blizzard; the wind is relentless. It feels so good to be in bed, to be able to go back to sleep, so warm and cozy, and then AdventureMan whispers “It’s raining outside.”
Three minutes later, I am up and out of bed, going to the closet for old towels.
Kuwait isn’t built for rain. Our beautiful big windows were sealed . . . once. I think the heat has destroyed the seals. When we get a serious rain, I get some serious leakage. It dribbles onto the windowsills and then slithers across the floor. I have to get the towels in place immediately, or I have a real mess.
And, (sigh) once I am up, I am up. I brew the coffee, run some water to wash up some dishes and watch the day lighten incrementally – no sunrise today, but I love the sound of the raindrops falling, falling, falling.
We need more. The rain is an occasion for joy, here, not like in Seattle, where we get so much rain that we take it for granted.
Rain on the Gulf:
Rain on the windows:
When AdventureMan Retires
“When we retire,” AdventureMan begins as we are driving down the street, “I want a tree like that in our front yard.”
This isn’t the first time he has said such a thing.
You know, where you live there are rules, and sometimes those rules aren’t written down. If you violate the rules, people say mean things like “they must not be from around here.”
Like in my neighborhood, most of the houses have some grey in their color. It’s the Pacific Northwest. The sky is grey. Sometimes the sea is grey. People get used to grey, and they paint their houses grey, like blue-grey or brown-grey or green-grey, but always some kind of grey in the color. It’s just the way things are done.
Here, sometimes a house is painted very brightly, like egg yolk yellow, not a hint of grey. Bright bright orange, not a hint of grey. At first, it is shocking to the eye, but in six months, the color mellows with the bright sunlight, and fades to a soothing sand-yellow, or sand-orange.
This is what AdventureMan thinks would look great in our front yard:
Or maybe he is just yanking on my chain? 😉
“Ban Valentine’s Day Celebrations”
(Yawn)
I hate it when I can’t find the entry all typed up for me in one of the local online versions of the newspaper; it means I have to type the whole thing in by myself. I guess all the newspapers felt this was to ho-hum to put on the online edition.
Live from the Kuwait Times:
Ban Valentine’s Day Celebrations
KUWAIT: MPs have spung to action earlier than usual. They have urged the government to ban any form of Valentine’s Day celebrations on February 14. Lawmakers have asked the MInister of Commerce and Industry to see it that Kuwaiti traditions and values are fully observed, reported Al Watan. Speaking in this regard, MP Mohammed Hayef al-Mutairi urged the Commerce minister, Ahmed Baqer to ban the import of merchandise related to celebrating the “heathen occasion” (allusion to Valentine’s Day). He also warned local companies against displaying any of these goods for sale.
“This is against Islam and misleads our youth” he said. MP Abdullatif Al Omairi said that celebrating this day was a ‘blind imitation of the West.’ It is something that does not belong to us, something that is completely alien to our society, morals and traditions,” he warned. He urged the government to interfere and preserve Muslim values. “There are only two Eids in Islam. We should not celebrate Christians’ festivities because they do not celebrate ours,” he said.
As if celebrating Valentine’s Day could be stopped! As if a loving husband doesn’t invite his wife to dinner, or as if a loving wife doesn’t fix something special for her husband just because, just because. As if you won’t buy chocolates for your sweetheart, or flowers, whether or not there is a Valentine’s Day (February 14th) advertisement in a window. As if you can forbid the joyful celebration of a relationship. It’s not about a Christian holiday; this stopped being a religious holiday long ago, if it ever was, this holiday is purely about the joy of living. Not unlike Liberation Day, or a national day, neither of which are Islamic, and both of which are joyfully celebrated.
When will these lawmakers (and I include the lawmakers in all nations) learn that when you forbid something, you only make it more attractive?
In my country, we have some very serious national issues to tackle. I prefer that my lawmakers focus on national issues and not issues-of-choice to private individuals. (AdventureMan already knows where he is taking me on Valentine’s Day. 🙂 See you there!)
Selfish Adults Damage Childhood
In a stunning and highly controversial report recently published in Britain, concludes that children’s lives in Britain have become “more difficult than in the past”, adding that “more young people are anxious and troubled”. Part of the controversy stems from the conclusions that part of what hurts children are working mothers, and fathers who leave their families.
Selfish adults ‘damage childhood’
By Mark Easton
BBC News Home Editor
The report says children’s lives are “more difficult than in the past”
The aggressive pursuit of personal success by adults is now the greatest threat to British children, a major independent report on childhood says.
It calls for a sea-change in social attitudes and policies to counter the damage done to children by society.
Family break-up, unprincipled advertising, too much competition in education and income inequality are mentioned as big contributing factors.
A panel of independent experts carried out the study over three years.
. . . . . . “Children with separate, single or step parents are 50% more likely to fail at school, have low esteem, be unpopular with other children and have behavioural difficulties, anxiety or depression,” it argues.
“Child-rearing is one of the most challenging tasks in life and ideally it requires two people,” the report concludes.
It also suggests that having many more working mothers has contributed to the damage done to children.
You can read the entire report on BBC News by clicking here.
This study is sure to cause a lot of dinner table conversations around the world – and Kuwait is no exception. Go read the report, so you can discuss it knowledgeably. 😉
I worked, and I wanted to work, while child rearing, but there was a lot of guilt attached. I needed to work, not so much for the money as for the stimulation, and I have a lot of empathy for mothers who find themselves in the same circumstances. I was really lucky – I was able to find professional positions with part time hours my entire working life, until it was no longer a consideration. I honestly don’t know that I would have been a better mother staying home. And yet, here I am years later, stunned and dismayed when I read this report, and still wondering if I was too selfish. The report says working mothers are selfish. The report says it really takes two parents to raise a happy child. The report says men shouldn’t leave their families. There enough guilt to go around to everyone. 😦
I’m interested in what you have to say; I ask only that you go read the article first.
Empty Nests Make for Happy Marriage
LLOOLL. To everyone’s great surprise, the results found the empty-nest marriages are HAPPIER than families with children. I think the message is HANG IN THERE! The study found that marital happiness plunged with the first child, and went further south with each addition. Children take time and attention, the more, the more chaotic. The study doesn’t say don’t have children, it just says there is a great satisfaction to having children who successfuly transition to adulthood.
This compilation of studies is reported in today’s New York Times. Clicking on the blue type will take you to the entire article.
The study is important because it tracks the first generation of women to juggle traditional family responsibilities with jobs in the work force. In the empty-nest study, researchers compared the women’s marital happiness in their 40s, when many still had children at home; in their early 50s, when some had older children who had left home; and in their 60s, when virtually all had empty nests. At every point, the empty nesters scored higher on marital happiness than women with children still at home. The finding mirrors that of a report presented last year at the American Psychological Association, tracking a dozen parents who were interviewed at the time of a child’s high school graduation and 10 years later. That small study also showed that a majority of parents scored higher on marital satisfaction after children had left home.
While the Berkeley researchers had hypothesized that the improvement in marital happiness came from couples’ spending more time together, the women in the same study reported spending just as much time with their partners whether the children were living at home or had moved out. But they said the quality of that time was better.
“There are fewer interruptions and less stress when kids are out of the house,” said Dr. Gorchoff, at Berkeley. “It wasn’t that they spent more time with each other after the children moved out. It’s the quality of time they spent with each other that improved.”
She notes that the lesson from the empty nest may be that parents need to work to carve out more stress-free time together. In the sample studied, it was only relationship satisfaction that improved when children left home. Over all, parents were just as happy with children at home as in the empty nest. (What happens when adult children move back home, their job prospects having evaporated in a brutal economy, has not been extensively studied.)
“Kids aren’t ruining parents’ lives,” Dr. Gorchoff said. “It’s just that they’re making it more difficult to have enjoyable interactions together.”
Rising Dowries in Kuwait an Obstacle to Marriage
From today’s <a href="“> Arab Times
Rising dowries key problem in failed marriages – survey
KUWAIT, Jan 17, (KUNA): Kuwaiti youth oppose vehemently the extremely high dowries and wedding expenses amid an economic and social downturn in the society due to the current economic crisis, according to a recent academic survey. Dowry is always a bone of contention among the families of bride and bridegroom, said the survey, carried out by the Kuwait University.
Young men are more critical of rising dowries than girls, the study entitled “Social Value of Dowries in Kuwaiti Society”, showed. It highlighted the reality of dowries in Kuwait and their relative significance and social impacts, calling for taking into consideration gender differences and social and cultural changes. The survey involved a sample of 700 men and women aged between 20 and 56 from different areas in the six Kuwaiti governorates. It showed that 78 percent of the sample viewed dowries as exorbitantly high, 82.4 percent considered dowry as the key problem in surging wedding expenses, while 28.1 percent believed that Kuwaiti girls pay too much heed to dowry. The respondents are mostly dissatisfied with dowries, with 85.7 percent of the sampled men and 70 percent of the sampled women believing that dowries are too high.
Sometimes, it is the dowry which determines whether marriage can be completed due to familial hard-mindedness and intransigence, it said. The survey attributed surging dowries to women’s employment, education, lack of acquaintance and girls’ young age. It indicated common gender social awareness of social reflections of uncontrollably rising dowries on the entire Kuwaiti society. For instance, young men are now reluctant to marry Kuwaiti girls, resorting to non-Kuwaiti females, spinsterhood is growing and secret and unofficial marriage cases are mounting, it said. In conclusion, the survey recommended that the culture of moderation, especially regarding dowries, should be disseminated pursuant to the Islamic Sharia’ or Law in bid to alleviate the negative social effects of mounting dowries in the Kuwaiti society.
Young Kuwaiti men have told me that Kuwaiti women “cost too much”, that they would rather marry a hard-working Philipina girl, or a western woman, who will work and help with household expenses, than to borrow the money required to support a Kuwaiti woman.
A young Kuwaiti woman told me it is a growing problem for them, too, as they find themselves facing a dwindling pool of eligible bachelors, and that while the men are supposed to be able to support them in a style the same as they are supported by their father’s household, it doesn’t take into account that their fathers also did not always have so much money. It seems to be that both sexes have a clear idea of what the obstacles and problems are, but no one seems to know what to do about it.
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