Ok To Marry 10 Year Old Girls – Saudi Arabia
This is just sad. I’m sorry, a ten year old girl is that – a girl. Any father knows that. She is precious and innocent, and still playing dolls and make believe. Few girls are even menstruating at 10. No girl, at 10, has the emotional and physical maturity to enter into a marriage. And this is the SENIOR Saudi Arabian cleric speaking? I’m sorry, this makes me sick to my stomach. It’s just wrong.
You don’t leave a ten year old alone – you get a babysitter. A ten year old belongs in school, a ten year old belongs with her mother.
This is from today’s Al Watan, right on the front page.
RIYADH: Saudi Arabia”s most senior cleric was quoted Wednesday as saying it is permissible for 10ـyearـold girls to marry and those who think they’re too young are doing the girls an injustice.
The mufti”s comments showed the conservative clergy’s opposition to a drive by Saudi rights groups, including government ones, to define the age of marriage and put an end to the phenomenon of child marriages.
“It is wrong to say it’s not permitted to marry off girls who are 15 and younger,” Sheik AbdulـAziz AlـSheikh, the country”s grand mufti, was quoted as saying.
“A female who is 10 or 12 is marriageable and those who think she’s too young are wrong and are being unfair to her,” he said during a Monday lecture, according to the panـArab AlـHayat newspaper.
AlـSheikh”s comments come at a time when Saudi human rights groups have been pushing the government to put an end to marriages involving the very young and to define a minimum age for marriage. In the past few months, Saudi newspapers have highlighted several cases in which young girls were married off to much older men or very young boys.
Though the mufti’s pronouncements are respected and provide guidance, the government is not legally bound by them.
On Sunday, the governmentـrun Human Rights Commission condemned marriages of minor girls, saying such marriages are an “inhumane violation” and rob children of their rights.
The commission’s statement followed a ruling by a court in Oneiza in central Saudi Arabia last month that dismissed a divorce petition by the mother of an eightـyearـold girl whose father married her off to a man in his 50s.
Newspaper reports said the court argued that the mother did not have the right to file such a case on behalf of her daughter and said that the petition should be filed by the girl when she reaches puberty.
Responding to a question about parents who force their underage daughters to marry, the mufti said: “We hear a lot about the marriage of underage girls in the media, and we should know that Islamic law has not brought injustice to women.”
The mufti said a good upbringing will make a girl capable of carrying out her duties as a wife and that those who say women should not marry before the age of 25 are following a “bad path.”
“Our mothers and before them, our grandmothers, married when they were barely 12,” said AlـSheikh, according to AlـHayat.
There are no statistics to show how many marriages involving children are performed in Saudi Arabia every year. And it’s also not clear whether these unions are on the rise or whether people are hearing about them more now because of the prevalence of media outlets and easy access to the Internet.
Activists say the girls are given away in return for hefty dowries or as a result of longـstanding custom in which a father promises his infant daughters and sons to cousins out of a belief that marriage will protect them from illicit relationships. ـAP
Last updated on Thursday 15/1/2009
I have a friend who says the mufti needs to come back in his next life as a young girl in Saudi Arabia. I think it might give his thought processes some clarity.
Kuwait Moonlight Magic
I should have guessed when I saw all the fishing boats gathering last night as the sun went down. As the day went all pink and lavender, and then deeper purple, you could see their lights bobbing not too far off shore.
Minutes later I cam back and was stunned – the moon was up, full and glimmering over the Gulf. It was magical.
“AdventureMan! Come look!” I called, because it is a great sorrow in our lives that many a full moon we have been in different cities. I don’t know why it matters to us, but it does. He will call me and say “there is a full moon tonight in Djibuti and we are not together!” or I will SMS him saying “there is a full moon tonight in Seattle, where are you?” There are times he will say “At least we are both on the same continent” or “At least we are both in the same time zone!” but it is still sad that we are not together. It matters to us, so to watch this great bright silver orb rise over the waters was a moment to be treasured.
There were wisps of clouds in the sky, so the moon is not sharp edged, but a little blobby. Nevertheless, it is a full moon and we are together. A good night to celebrate.
Cat Nap
I had a lot going on today, including an event I need to prepare for tomorrow. As I was settling down to read a lot of material, I felt a little cold, and put on my heavy robe. Then the Qatteri Cat heard me and came in and snuggled up close and went to sleep. His slow, regular breathing, and his little cat-sleeping noises had its effect on me, too, and the next thing I knew, I was also sound asleep.
AdventureMan said “I hate to wake you, but I’m hungry” and I was glad he did. We went out for a quick bite which turned out to be not so quick, and I am growing increasingly uncomfortable at how unprepared I am going to be when he says “don’t you remember college? Isn’t there someplace on the internet you can go and get some ideas to put this together quickly?” and it’s like a lightbulb going on – oh yeh! There is this wonderful new way to gather information in a hurry. I can get other people’s ideas . . .
We used to use something called Cliff Notes, you could buy them in any university bookstore to fill in if you didn’t have time to read the book, or to guide you if you read it and didn’t understand it.
Now I am off to find the current day equivalent, to crib some notes off the internet since I am now WAAAYYY behind the curve.
The Upside Down Day
Yesterday was a totally upside down day, where I never really knew what to expect. First, my husband was already up when I woke up, and when he heard me stirring, came into the bedroom with his great big smile and shining eyes and said “Let’s go to the Early Bird for breakfast!”
I laughed, and dropped my morning routine and plans to enjoy this delightful surprise. Quickly dressed, we were out the door well before seven, even well before sunrise. As we drove into Fehaheel, I managed to catch the sunrise, although I didn’t see it until this morning when I finally had time to sit down and organize myself. This is for you, Daggero, yesterday’s icy morning sunrise!
Believe me, that shot is a surprise – we were at a stoplight, briefly, and I shot it through the window, not the ideal way to shoot a sunrise. Lucky shot, beautiful day.
The Early Bird was closed! Closed through today! What to do!? AdventureMan remembered seeing a small place deep in the heart of Fehaheel, and we’re in Fehaheel, it is not yet seven ayem and the streets are empty. We drove to the “Arabic Early Bird” and miracle of miracle, on a street that teems with traffic day and night, at 0h-dark-thirty in the morning, it is open and there is a beautiful parking spot, a LEGAL spot, available. We take this as a sign that we are meant to have breakfast there.
Indeed, the cook is ready, and already has betinjan (eggplant) and felafel all fried up for us – YUM!
The waiter brings us all kinds of goodies, most of which are totally delicious. This is my first time eating tomato scrambled eggs, which Mishary wrote about in Some Contrast sorry I can’t find the original article, but he shows you how to cook them. I think he used 12 eggs! Some of the pickles are strange to our taste, but the food is hot and fresh and delicious, and washed down with hot tea.
More food that we could eat! When we got the bill, it was KD 1.750. What luxury! 🙂 What a great way to start the day, in every way not what we expected.
Family Crisis
The Gospel reading for today details a family crisis. We grow up with these words, we know them by heart, but it is only living in the countries near where Jesus was actually born that I have come to ponder these words in my heart, and try to imagine what it meant in Mary’s time.
Matthew 1:18-25
18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah* took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ 22 All this took place to fulfil what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23 ‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel’,
which means, ‘God is with us.’ 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son;* and he named him Jesus.
Living in Jordan, living in the Gulf has helped me so much to understand the context in which this birth took place. In America today, it is still hoped for that women will be married when they have children, but it is not taken for granted. No one goes out and kills a daughter or sister who has had sexual relations with a man before she is married. Parents don’t disown daughters who conceive before the vows are publicly exchanged.
Even now, in the Middle East, most expect women to be virgin at marriage, and to conceive only after the formalities of marriage. There are steep penalties to be paid for varying from that route. Banishment. Death. Dishonor. A bastard child, if she lives that long. These are all things Mary was facing as she entered her earliest months of pregnancy. Joseph had decided to set her aside – not to marry her. He was a decent man, but a man of the times, he didn’t want a pregnant bride. The angel comes – he tells Joseph that this baby is special, conceived of the Holy Spirit, that Mary remains virgin. And miracle of miracles . . . Joseph listens.
What a courageous woman. What a courageous man.
Christmas Ornaments from Here, There and Everywhere
Ten years ago when we put almost our entire life into storage, we had no idea we would be gone this long. We had no idea we would live in four different countries, and that we wouldn’t see our things again for lo, these many years.
Our first contract, I was allowed one thousand pounds. Do you know how little one thousand pounds is? Think clothing, think basic necessities – 1000 lbs. just isn’t very much.
I packed just a very few Christmas ornaments, figuring I could pick things up along the way. Fortunately for us, the next country, after Saudi Arabia, was Germany, the land of Christmas ornaments. Our tree is eclectic. It’s not necessarily a tree with appeal to anyone else; it is a very personal Christmas tree, with lots of memories and stories. Lucky for you, I won’t bore you will all of them. 😉
We are sentimental. When we can, we decorate the tree together, and we remember with each ornament. . . When he was young, our son would get so impatient with us, and our remembering!
Here is the very first ornament our son ever made in school – it is a dreamcatcher; his teacher was very into the American Southwest and American Indian traditions:
We met and married in Heidelberg, so we always have that ornament with us:
My ties to the Pacific Northwest:
AdventureMan’s love of Africa and the Middle East:
Religious symbols:
Beautiful German antique silver walnuts and pinecones:
And memories of places we’ll remember . . .
Whew! I’m tired, too! Think I will go join the Qatteri Cat in a catnap!
Seattle Sunset
“Quick! Look! Look at the sunset!” AdventureMan pulls over. “Don’t you want a photo for your blog?”
We’ve both still got colds and I am tired. At this point, I just want to get home. But . . . he is right, it is a glorious sunset.
Yes, that is me holding the camera.
When we got to the airport to pick up our Seattle rental, the helpful, courteous man behind the counter asked if we would like a small SUV.
“For the same price?” I asked. Part of me remembered by May rental when I ended up paying $70 every time I filled the tank.
“Same price, small Jeep” he said with a smile, and handed me the folder.
When we got to the rental cars, it was not a small Jeep. It was a Jeep that looked like a Hummer. AdventureMan loaded all the bags in (it’s Christmas, remember? We are loaded with bags.) We get in the car and AdventureMan starts driving out of the parking garage.
“I don’t think I like this car.” I say.
If you are married, especially if you have been married for a long time, you can keep reading. You are the kinds of people who understand how much a marriage has to survive to endure.
“It’s too big. I can’t drive this car.” I say.
“What do you want to do?” AdventureMan says patiently, but any wife who has been married a long time knows that whatever happens next has to be quick and relatively painless.
“I want to see if we can get something I can drive, too.” I say.
“You want us to go back and park and get another car?” he says, to clairify.
“Yes.” I say, knowing he is very tired and I am walking a fine line here, but I HATE this car, it feels cramped and you can’t see all around, it is sort of squashed feeling.
I quickly go to the Fast Counter, and the man, God bless him, has a Rav4, just one, and I can have it at the same price.
“You don’t want the luxury car?” he asks me as I am signing the papers.
“It was supposed to be a SMALL Jeep.” I countered. “That is not a small Jeep.”
“No,” the counter guy said “You almost got our top of the line Jeep for the economy car price.”
“I don’t care,” I reply (not as rudely as it sounds) “I don’t like it.”
I take the new keys back to AdventureMan, who gamely pulls the bags out of the big huge luxury Jeep and loads them into the more modest Rav4.
It was a smart decision. We both enjoyed the Rav4, being a little high up, having space, but still being small enough to fit into the narrow, short Seattle parking spaces. Anyway, that’s the Rav4 in the photo with the sunset.
Shivering in Seattle
AdventureMan isn’t sure he wants to settle in Seattle. He promised me a long time ago that since I had been such a good wife, following him all around the world, we could settle where I wanted, he didn’t care.
You know how promises like that are . . . as soon as I could, I quickly sold our Tampa Bay area house and bought a house in Seattle. 🙂 Even with the dramatic fall in house prices, our house is still worth more than twice what we paid for it. House prices are not slipping fast in Seattle. The market is slow, but the prices are holding at relatively high levels.
When we go to Seattle, AdventureMan shivers, and talks endlessly about Pensacola. He makes jokes about Seattle’s “two days of summer” and he wears caps that cover his ears. I know he will be a good sport about living in Seattle, but his heart is in the South.
His heart is one of the reasons I want to live in Seattle. In his little town in the South, most people his age are suffering seriously from heart disease and diabetes. The food is SO good in the South – but the major food groups are fat and sugar. We both love seafood, but I am not so sure it does us that much good when it is all deep-fried. Fortunately for me, there are usually also grilled grouper sandwiches, grilled tuna and blackened swordfish, etc. but when give the choice – AdventureMan will usually go for the deep-fried option. 😦
Today, however, he has every right to be cold. Seattle is shivering. This is not my photo, it was sent in to the Seattle Times, and I like it because it has the snow and the Space Needle:
The streets are covered with ice, and people are afraid of more snow is coming, with high winds. When that happens, trees fall on the electrical lines, many of which are still all above ground (ruining the views!) and leaving people without heat or electricity for days.
AdventureMan yearns for the relative heat and sunshine of Kuwait. See you soon!
Bridal Disaster: Fake or For Real?
When I saw this on The Fail Blog it caught me so by surprise that – I laughed. It has to be a bride’s worst nightmare. I get suspicious, however. I mean it LOOKS like a real wedding, but maybe this is all a set up. I’ve watched it a few times. I can’t make up my mind. What do you think?
I didn’t mean to be unkind by laughing, but I laughed so loud that AdventureMan had to come see. He can’t tell if it is real or faked, either.
I can’t begin to imagine – if this were real – what happens next?
Rejected Suitor Rapes Kuwaiti Woman
Al Watan staff
KUWAIT: A young Kuwaiti woman has filed a case against a man who raped her after she rejected his marriage proposal. The woman explained that the young man who asked to marry her had been found out to be a liar. Among other things, he lied about his nationality, claiming to be Kuwaiti when he was not. He also claimed to have huge sums of money when in fact he was not as well off as he initially claimed. After being rejected, the man reportedly waited outside her house and kidnapped her as she walked towards her car. He then drove her to a remote area and raped her.
What incredible courage this young woman has going public. What backing she must have from her family. This is, unfortunately, not a rare occurance. What on earth are these men thinking? Is he trying to ruin her chances of marrying anyone else? Is this rape a punishment?
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