Qatteri Cat Loves His Dad
We start our day together as a family – Adventure Man, me, Qatteri Cat – and all of Qatteri Cat’s babies, who end up on the bed by morning . . .He brought two babies in last night while I was still reading, and the other two appeared sometime as we were sleeping.
As we gathered in the living room to watch the sun over the Gulf, to see if we could spot any dolphins, Adventure Man sat with Qatteri Cat and began to play with him. Adventure Man almost lost a finger!
We got the Qatteri Cat when he was still a very young cat. He was found, sick and with an eye infection, on the Corniche in Doha, too young to be away from his mother, but with no mother in sight. A family adopted him, but the females in the family didn’t like him, and he spent much of his time alone, on a too hot or too cold balcony.
When we adopted him, he LOVED Adventure Man at first sight, but he was very wary of me. His back would arch if my hand raised. He watched my feet like a hawk. If my voice raised, his ears went back. And he was terrified of plastic bags, totally freaked out.
After a month or so, he would sit next to me, but not for long. He usually ended up biting me or scratching me in a panic to get away. It took months to calm him down, to calm his terrors, to gain his trust.
He is a very odd cat. He doesn’t eat meat, won’t touch it. He loves shrimp and sardines, and we special order salmon flavored cat food for him. He never begs for food. If I forget to feed him, he will nip at my feet – that’s his only signal, and he has to be very hungry to even do that. He never begs for food. He drinks very little water, so little that we have to encourage him to drink often.
Most of all, he wants to go out. He wants to roam free, he wants to be the CAT that God created him to be. But now, we have trained him too well – he is too trusting, and has no understanding about cars at all. He wouldn’t last long on the mean streets of Kuwait.
We also have to be careful, because underneath this contented cat, not too far from the surface, is that street-born cat. Most mornings I have a tough time typing, because he is snuggled up between my left arm and the computer. Occasionally, all of a sudden, in his imagination, my left hand becomes something else as it types along, and he attacks. His attacks, with teeth and claws, come as a surprise. It is a great trick NOT to try to remove my hand immediately, which only makes him bite and claw harder, but to stay totally still and say his name in reproving tones. It reminds him who he is and who I am, and he will let go. It happens less and less often, but we never forget there is still a wild cat not far below the thin veneer of civilization.
Most of all, he loves Adventure Man. He cries when he leaves, and he starts getting restless when it is time for him to come home. He waits by the door. When Adventure Man travels, he gets depressed, and Adventure Man talks to him on the phone when he calls. Sometimes I will ask “can you say hello to Qatteri Cat?” and he’ll say “not now, there are people around!” and he will leave the office and call back to talk with Qatteri Cat where no-one can hear him. Adventure Man gets most of his exercise these days chasing Qatteri Cat from room to room, throwing his ball, playing hide and seek.
OK, Skunk, this one was for you. 🙂
Friday Fun: Wishin’ and Hopin’
To hear this dusty old Dusty Springfield classic, you can go down to the U-Tube video below, or you can put on My Best Friend’s Wedding, just for the intro, where the song is acted out, all in pink if I remember correctly, a very 50’s rendition.
Here are the words, found at stlyrics.com. And a big thanks to Little Diamond who by finding all the lyrics to “Put the Lime in the Coconut” for me, taught me that anything, ANYTHING is available on the internet, if you have the time to search!
Artist: Dusty Springfield Lyrics
Song: Wishin’ and Hopin’ Lyrics
Wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’
Plannin’ and dreaming each night of his charms
That won’t get you into his arms
So if you’re lookin’ to find love you can share
All you gotta do is
Hold him and kiss him and love him
And show him that you care
Show him that you care just for him
And do the things he likes to do
Wear your hair just for him, ’cause
You won’t get him
Thinkin’ and a-prayin’
Wishin’ and a-hopin’
Just wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’
Plannin’ and dreamin’ his kiss is the start
That won’t get you into his heart
So if you’re thinkin’ heartbreak
True love is
All you gotta do is
Hold him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him
Yeah, just do it and after you do, you will be his
(You gotta)
Show him that you care just for him
Do the things he likes to do
Wear your hair just for him, ’cause
You won’t get him
Thinkin’ and a-prayin’
Wishin’ and a-hopin’
Just wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’
Plannin’ and dreamin’ his kiss is the start
That won’t get you into his heart
So if you’re thinkin’ heartbreak
True love is
All you gotta do is
Hold him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him
Yeah, just do it and after you do, you will be his
You will be his
You will be his
So on this lazy Friday morning, ponder this – Is My Best Friend’s Wedding really a comedy? Is there both truth and fiction in the above song lyrics (the song itself is a hoot – irresistable! Go take a listen!) And while we are laughing, to what extent do you sacrifice who you really are to attain a mate?
Update: Holy smokes, Skunk, it’s THAT easy???? Thanks again!
Blarney Blarney Blarney
There is a two syllable word that starts with “b” and has to do with bulls and excrement and you use it to imply that someone is saying something that is not true. It is not a polite word, but there is a perfectly good two syllable word that also starts with a “b” and that is “blarney.”
When Adventure Man is chatting me up about something, and I can see where it is going, him spinning all these illusions and wanting my buy-in and this is the perfect “b” word to use: Blarney, Blarney, Blarney. We always end up laughing.
And Blarney is the word-a-day for today:
This week’s theme: toponyms coined after places in Ireland.
blarney (BLAHR-nee) noun
1. Flattery.
2. Misleading talk.
[After the Blarney stone, a stone in Blarney Castle in Blarney village,
near Cork, Ireland which, according to legend, gives the gift of the gab
to anyone who kisses it.]
A Word a Day is in the blogroll to the right, or you can subscribe to A Word a Day here.
The Good Husband of Zebra Drive
In Alexander McCall Smith’s newest book about Mma Ramotswe, it is a time of transition and unease. Unthinkable things happen. Mma Makutsi quits her job as Mma Ramotswe’s assistant detective, and Charlie, the apprentice, quits to start his own taxi service. Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni feels a restless urge to try out his detecting skills and everything is in turmoil.
And underneath, amazing things happen. When you think differently, there is room for change, and forgiveness.
With Mma Makutsi back in her usual place, the heavy atmosphere that had prevailed that morning lifted. The emotional reunion, as demonstrative and effusive as if Mma Makutsi had been away for months, or even years, had embarrassed the men, who had exchanged glances and then looked away, as if in guilt at an intrusion into essentially female mysteries. But when the ululating from Mma Ramotswe had died down and the tea had been made, everything returned to normal.
“Why did she bother to leave if she was going to be back in five minutes?” asked the younger apprentice.
“It’s because she doesn’t think like anybody else,” said Charlie. “She thinks backwards.”
Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni, who overheard this, shook his head. “It’s a sign of maturity to be able to change your mind when you realize that you’re wrong,” he explained. “It’s the same with fixing a car. If you find out that you’re going along the wrong lines then don’t hesitate to stop and correct yourself. If, for example, you’re changing the oil seal at the back of a gearbox, you might try to save time by doing this without taking the gearbox out. But it’s always quicker to take the gearbox out. If you don’t, you end up taking the floor out and anyway, you have to take the top of the gearbox off, and the prop shaft too. So it’s best to stop and admit your mistake before you go any further and damage things.”
Charlie listened to this – it was a long speech for Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni – and then looked away. He wondered if this was a random example siezed upon by Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni, or if he knew about the seal he had tried to install in the old rear-wheel-drive Ford. Could he have found out somehow?
In another place, Charlie has just told Mma Ramotswe of his plans to start the No. 1 Ladies Taxi Service:
For a minute or two, nobody spoke. Mma Ramotswe was aware of the sound of Charlie’s breathing, which was shallow, from excitement. We must remember, she thought, what it is like to be young and enthusiastic, to have a plan, a dream. There is always a danger that as we went on in life we forget about that; caution – even fear – replaced optimism and courage. When you were young, like Charlie, you believed that you could do anything, and, in some circumstances at least, you could. . . . .
“I will tell all my friends to use your taxi,” she said. “I am sure you will be very busy.”
And oh yes, in the midst of all this, three mysteries get solved – a case of inventory gone missing, a case of a string of inexplicable hospital deaths, and a case of a husband potentialy gone astray.
GREAT summer reading, deceptively simple. You find yourself mulling over the situations, the responses and the outcomes, and trying out new ways of thinking. Give it a try – you don’t have to read the whole series to enjoy each volume.
This eighth book in the series is available from Amazon.com for a mere $12.70. It makes great summer reading.
Rules of Engagement
As you know, I am from a very close, very funny family. Earthling, my nephew, just got engaged.
We’ve all been waiting. Almost from the beginning, we knew this girl was THE ONE. We almost always know. They announced their engagement by sending a series of photos of a hike they took near Google Valley in California, including the photo of the bride-elect and her new ring. We are dancing for joy, that these two dear people have found one another and are committing their futures to one another.
And – the bride-to-be has started a blog called Rules of Engagement. She is a very funny, very clever writer, and will take you step by step through the travails of an American style wedding.
Enjoy!
Real Simple
It’s a quiet Friday morning and we have time to loll around before we have to get ready for church. I am focused on writing a tough entry for my blog and Adventure Man is on the couch, paging through a magazine, Real Simple.
He starts reading from an article called “Is he driving you crazy?” which lists the top five complaints of women, and then men:
Women:
He’s not affectionate enough.
He doesn’t listen to me.
He doesn’t help around the house.
He raises his voice when we argue.
He never talks about tough issues.
Men:
She’s trying to control me.
She objects when I need time alone.
We don’t have enough sex.
She criticizes me.
She treats me like an idiot.
The whole article, with all the expert solutions, is available HERE.
Two of them cracked us up.
Her Complaint: He’s not affectionate enough
Expert: Even though your partner loves you, he might express his feelings differently. Generally speaking, “men feel closer when there’s sex. For women to feel affectionate, there has to be talk.”
His complaint: We don’t have enough sex
Expert: The impulse to get romantic declines for most couples but “men are more likely to feel an urge for sex,” says (expert). “Once women get going, they enjoy it but often they don’t have the same initial urge they might have had as teenagers.” So if he’s rushing you to bed, let him know that you’d like to cuddle and talk a bit first . . . If your needs are truly mis-matched, talk about how many “relations” you’ll have in your relationship. Ask “What’s your ideal range of frequency per week? If he says three to five, and you say one to three, then aim for an average of about three times.”
Here is what got us rolling with laughter – my husband is a consumate negotiator. It doesn’t matter what the reality would be, he would up the figure. So like he might say “30 times a week” knowing that half that would be twice a day. It wouldn’t matter that he really doesn’t want sex twice a day, he would have sealed a deal that guaranteed him sex twice a day IF he wanted it.
But he knows my tricks, too, and moments later he is showered, shaved, he smells wonderful AND . . . he is making the bed! He totally knows how to get what he wants.
Marriage – A Great Adventure
I remember the day we looked at each other in astonishment, the day we realized we had lived with each other longer than we had lived with our own parents. We think of family cultures as the culture we grew up in, but in our years together, we have created our own family culture, haven’t we?
We chose one another, in itself, a great adventure. We chose a life full of change and risk. We stacked the obstacles against our survival as a couple, and yet we prevailed, by the grace of God.
We laugh at how young we were to have made such a lifelong commitment. We laugh at how we walked into parenthood – no, RAN into parenthood, joyfully, with no clues as to the huge responsibilities, the agonies as well as the intense delights.
Happy Anniversary, Adventure Man. I thank God for our marriage, and our partnership.
These are for you.
Morning in the bush
Picnic Stop
The thrill of the chase
The Great Migration
Zanzibar
Some Misery Unavoidable
Accepting the bad times could make for a happy marriage
From BBC Health News
The key to a happy relationship could be accepting that some miserable times are unavoidable, experts say.
Therapists from California State University, Northridge and Virginia Tech say accepting these problems is better than striving for perfection.
And they blame cultural fairytales and modern love stories for perpetuating the myth that enjoying a perfect relationship is possible.
The report was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
The authors, Dr Diane Gehart and Dr Eric McCollum say it is a “myth that, with enough effort we can achieve a state without suffering.”
And they say healthcare professionals may not be helping the situation.
“The field of mental health perpetuates this myth with the very concept of “mental health,” which implies a state without suffering,” they say.
Potentially damaging
But this belief can eventually cause people to believe that with enough effort they can eliminate suffering.
And experts say this is an unrealistic aim in relationships, and striving to achieve it can lead people to feel they have failed.
Jan Parker of the Association of Family Therapy said: “The authors are right to point out that the pursuit of relationship nirvana can be potentially damaging.”
She said it was important to explore what people mean by a happy and healthy relationship, because nobody’s life or relationship can be in a permanent state of happiness – there will always be more difficult times.
She said couples need to build strengths, such as understanding, in their relationships to help them cope in these hard times and appreciate the good times.
Mrs Nadine Field, a consultant psychologist, said it was a “fantasy” that any relationship could be perfect and that striving for such an impossible state could lead to bitter disappointment.
She said this disappointment could then cause people to focus on the negative aspects of a relationship, and lead to more disappointment and resentment.
She said: “People need to try to understand their partners through communication, rather than demanding perfection of them.”
Read the rest of the article here.
Dead Man Walking
An Irish joke:
Paddy’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products she asked, “Darling, honestly what age would you say I am?”
Looking over her carefully, Paddy replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty-five.”
“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.
“Hey, wait a minute!” Paddy interrupted. “I haven’t added them up yet.”
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