Seattle Equivalent
My sister Sparkle sent me this photo in an e-mail, saying these are the Seattle equivalent to the perky electric palm trees Adventureman so loves. Thank you, Sparkle!
They are from a Seattle blog where they post a new photo of Seattle every day: Seattle Daily Blog Spot. Right now, they have some Valentine’s Day photos, interesting, and not what you would expect.
This is the photo that inspired Sparkle:
I have to admit, these are pretty cool. Do I want them in my yard? I think not. đ
Grins for the Day – for you AdventureMan!
I was always taught that puns were the lowest form of humor – and then I married AdventureMan. He is BAD. You will love these, AdventureMan!
“CREATIVE PUNS FOR “EDUCATED MINDS”
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an âoptical Aleutianâ.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of âmath disruptionâ.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a ânon-prophetâ organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. âThen it hit meâ.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a âseasoned veteranâ.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it’s your vote that counts In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got âa taste of religionâ.
24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice âsafe sectsâ!
When AdventureMan Retires
“When we retire,” AdventureMan begins as we are driving down the street, “I want a tree like that in our front yard.”
This isn’t the first time he has said such a thing.
You know, where you live there are rules, and sometimes those rules aren’t written down. If you violate the rules, people say mean things like “they must not be from around here.”
Like in my neighborhood, most of the houses have some grey in their color. It’s the Pacific Northwest. The sky is grey. Sometimes the sea is grey. People get used to grey, and they paint their houses grey, like blue-grey or brown-grey or green-grey, but always some kind of grey in the color. It’s just the way things are done.
Here, sometimes a house is painted very brightly, like egg yolk yellow, not a hint of grey. Bright bright orange, not a hint of grey. At first, it is shocking to the eye, but in six months, the color mellows with the bright sunlight, and fades to a soothing sand-yellow, or sand-orange.
This is what AdventureMan thinks would look great in our front yard:
Or maybe he is just yanking on my chain? đ
Sweet Home Alabama – As You’ve NEVER Seen it
Courtesy of my friend, Momcat, who shares my quirky sense of humor:
ROCKING RUSSKIES
Written by To The Point News
Thursday, 06 March 2008
Prepare yourself for this one – maybe with a Stoli martini or two.
Back in the days of the Soviet Union, the Soviet Red Army had an official choir composed of male soldiers and musicians. It still exists. The Red Army Choir performs throughout Russia to this day.
Now consider the Finnish rock band called The Leningrad Cowboys. A little while ago, they held a concert in Russia, in which – to the screaming applause of Russkie teen-agers – they got the Red Army Choir to join them on stage for a performance of “Sweet Home Alabama.” In English. You couldn’t make this up.
We’re talking seriously off the wall here. Better have that Stoli ready when you watch it:
(Prepare to die, laughing!) DA! Da! Da!
Older Dog
This came in this morning’s e-mail:
Â
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.Â
He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head;Â
he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down theÂ
hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
Â
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.
This continued off and on for several weeks.
Â
Â
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: ‘I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful, sweet dog is
Â
and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’
Â
Â
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
Â
‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep.
Â
Can I come with him tomorrow?’
Chris Rock: Hard to Make Fun of Obama
On this historic inaugural day – you’ve gotta keep a sense of humor. But making jokes about this President is not so easy, according to Chris Rock, a comedian I truly enjoy. Here is an excerpt from his interview with CNN, which you can read in whole by clicking on this blue type.
By Jacque Wilson
CNN
(CNN) — Chris Rock is best known for two things: being funny and being crass.
“If you’re the president you only have two jobs: peace and money,” Chris Rock said.
“This is what people come to see. I’m just doing my show,” the comedian said with a laugh.
He’s also known for his political commentary, but there’s one person he’s having a lot of trouble making fun of — president-elect Barack Obama.
This is apparent in his new DVD “Kill the Messenger,” which combines three shows from his international tour: New York; London, England; and Johannesburg, South Africa.
“It was a tour nobody wanted to do… because the general perception is that comedy doesn’t translate,” Rock said.
But thanks to the Internet, the world is a lot smaller than it was even 10 years ago. And people are digging the same jokes, he said, including ones about John McCain and Sarah Palin.
As the DVD readies for release on January 20, CNN talked with Rock about his lack of Obama jokes, Inauguration Day and why racism will never die. The following is an edited version of that interview:
CNN: I watched the special last night, and I noticed that you did a lot of jokes about John McCain — his age, his war hero story — but not so many about Barack Obama. Is it harder to make fun of Obama?
Chris Rock: He’s just one of those guys, you know, like Will Smith. There’s no Will Smith jokes. There’s no Brad Pitt jokes. You know, what are you going to say? “Ooh, you used to have sex with Jennifer Anniston. Now you have sex with Angelina Jolie. You’re such a loser.” What do you say? “Ooh, your movies are big. You make $20 million.” There’s nothing to say about Brad Pitt.
CNN: Why is Obama like that?
Rock: It’s like “Ooh, you’re young and virile and you’ve got a beautiful wife and kids. You’re the first African-American president.” You know, what do you say?
Chris Rock is irreverent and very very funny.
Hala February Starts in January
From Al Watan
KUWAIT: The festival of Hala February for 2009 will be held from Jan. 29 until Feb. 24, said the festival”s high committee Sunday.
The committee”s general coordinator Waleed AlŮJassem told the press that the event would coincide with the third year of reign for His Highnes the Amir Sheikh Sabah AlŮAhmad AlŮSabah, affirming that the festival would focus on highlighting the nationalistic values among citizens.
An opening carnival, which last for three days, would illuminate this year”s celebrations, he revealed.
Head of the committee”s media team Waleed AlŮSagobi said that families could enjoy the festival due to the fact that the event coincide with the spring break for schools, affirming that the festival would be supported by a strong media campaign. ŮKUNA
Among a whole lot of other things, as part of my job for a non-profit, I once wrote press releases. As I learned the ropes, I also learned that the newspapers will print almost anything you provide them, as long as you have proven your credibility, and the information is “print ready.” One TV station did a weekly news item on articles I would send – it wasn’t rocket science.
I am so sorry to say this, but if you are having an event, it is worth your while to take advantage of this. If you provide news sources with an event schedule, guess what? They will print it! If they print it, people will come.
If you print it in English, even more people will come! Isn’t Kuwait looking for tourism? Is there now a Hala February website, with an event schedule in English? Wouldn’t that have been a perfect opportunity, if not to publish the schedule of events (hey, having the schedule ready one month in advance is not that hard) AND a website to go to for event additions.
I really try not to be critical. I really try not to be sarcastic. Forgive me.
Uncle Jay Explains the News (US) from 2008
Tongue-in-cheek funny . . . This came out mid-December, or I am sure there would also be a shot at more recent events . . .
The Most Memorable Present of 2008
You look, and all you see is a candle.
It came with a tag that said “You can burn this candle any time you want.” We laughed until we cried.
When our son was seven, his class took a field trip to a Christmas Market in the German town where we lived. He had saved his money, and bought us Christmas presents there. One present he bought was wonderful – little beeswax candles.
We were delighted. They were beautiful, and they smelled so good! To honor him, we lit one right away.
Big mistake. When he walked into the room, his smiling face turned to utter horror!
“What are you doing??” he cried!
“We are burning your Christmas candle!” we said, proudly.
“No! No! You are not supposed to burn it!” he said, his eyes big and sorrowful! (Bad Mommy! Bad Daddy!)
We quickly snuffed the candle, and saved it, using it only for decoration for many years. I probably still have it, with our Christmas boxes, in storage.
We told this story when we were all together for Thanksgiving, and we all had a good laugh. The laugh was even better when we got this candle, with its note, telling us we could burn it any time we wanted. đ
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