A Question of Balances
This made me laugh out loud – send to me by a good friend in, of course, Washington State:
God was missing for six days.. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired, ‘Where have you been?’
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, ‘Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.’
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, ‘What is it?’
‘It’s a planet,’ replied God, ‘and I’ve put life on it.. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.’
‘Balance?’ inquired Michael, ‘I’m still confused.’
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. ‘For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.’
God continued pointing to different countries. ‘This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.’
The Archangel , impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, ‘What’s that one?’
‘That’s Washington State, one of the most glorious places on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of software.’
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, ‘But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.’
God smiled, ‘There’s another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.
Obama Magazine Cover Controversy
This is the New Yorker magazine cover that is causing so much controversy in the USA – it shows a newly elected Obama showing up to work in the oval office (US President’s office) in Islamic dress and trading congratulatory fists with his terrorist dressed wife. Obama and his election campaign group find it distinctly unfunny.
Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Presidency
Hilarious video from The Onion.
Wrong, So Wrong
I was wrong, so wrong, and I admit it. I had scanned the news online. When I finally got my hands on a hard copy paper, I discover there IS news, news you don’t find online, and so much of it. Because I can’t copy it online, you will have to bear with my hand-typed-in renditions of the page 2 “In the News” section from the Kuwait Times.
1. Rehab Centers
Kuwait: Dr Haya al Metairi called for establishing a specialized health center to treat and rehabilitate homosexurals. She urged the authorities to impart moral guidance and offer psychological counseling to affected people (sic) instead of incriminating the phenomenon of homosexuality. She said she has already submitted a demand of establishing the center to the parliamentary committee for curbing negative invluences. She also called for the implementation of a draft law to evaluate the degree that the patient is psychologically affected. (sic)
Once diagnosed, appropriate psychological treatments should then be administered accordingly after referring those ailing from sexual deviation to the relevant health centers. She also called for subjecting them to periodic checkups as well as conducting awareness campaigns to expedite their rehabilitation.
Al Metairi urged the Ministry of Health to subject local pharmacies to strict surveillance, reported Al Watan. She said most pharmacies sell banned female hormone inducting drugs over the counter that could fatally endanger the lives of consumers. She said such pills activate female hormones, leading to weakening the male sexual organs. Prolonged use of such drugs transforms a man’s physical appearance to resemble that of a woman and also negatively reduced the power of their sexual organs.
2. Diplomatic Appointments
Kuwait: Undersecretary at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs Khalid Al-Jarallah denied the involvement of wasta in admission tests held for inducting diplomats. He refuted reports that the ministry resorts to wasta, saying “The ministry never subjects itself to pressure from anyone, nor does it accept wasta in any form.”
He said appointing diplomats is a very sensitive issue as this select group represents the country abroad. Speaking on qualifications required to qualify for the posts, he said the maximum age required to qualify for the examinations is 24. No applicant under 24 has ever qualified for the written tests, he added. All candidates then have to mandatorily undergo a series of other appraisals and examinations before being finally accepted as diplomats, reported Al-Wasat. Written exams, which are graded by an expert panel of officials from the ministry are then followed by personal interviews and stringent brain storming sessions while grading the applicants on their personal capabilities.
3. No Blackouts
Kuwait: Fears of impeding electricity outages this summer dominated the Cabinet’s recent weekly meeting, officials said. The Ministry of Electricity and Water Mohammed Al-Olaim briefed the Cabinet with a detailed report on the current situation as well as details of the expected consumption as compared with the actual production.
He assured the Cabinet that he does not expect any electricity outage; scheduled or otherwise. He said the overall situation was under control with production exceeding the state’s consumption. “We are safely within the parameters of the green consumption line.” he added. He however slammed some local dailies of sparking unconfirmed reports of a power crisis, reported Al-Wasat. He said the reason electricity in some areas, was disrupted recently was due to technical snags leading to an overload, resulting from an excessive increase in day temperatures.
He said residents do not have to worry as technicians are on standby around the clock to deal with any contingency that might arise at any given time or place.
4. Donkey Ordered Out
Kuwait: The Minister of State for Municipa Affairs Dr. Fadel Safar saw a donkey grazing on a green patch while travelling through the capital recently. He called municipal officials and snstructed them to clear the mule off, reported Al-Watan. The officials in turn called capital police who arrived and took the animal to the Capital Security Directorate.
Laugh? Or cry?
Saving the Day
Wednesday morning, a million things to do, major projects, and I can’t think of a thing to write. I’ve scanned all the news, nothing I find that interesting/ shocking/ worth sharing.
I can Has Cheeseburger saves the day. I really had to stop, I laughed so hard at several:
more cat pictures
more cat pictures
more cat pictures
Grin for the Day
Thanks to some great long-time friends for this visual:
The American way of life!
Michelangelo’s famous statue, David, returns to Italy this week after a successful 12 week, 20 city tour in the United States of America.
The David statue after a visit to the USA
Grin for the Day
I am still scurrying around, catching up, trying to get life back to normal, but this morning I took a moment to catch up with I Can Has Cheeseburgers, and I found this. I hope it makes you LOL, as it did me:
more cat pictures
Followed by this one, which makes my heart sing:
more cat pictures
Daily Grin
Thanks to a good e-mail friend for this Sunday morning joke:
If College Students Wrote The Bible
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning — cold.
The Ten Commandments would actually be only five — double-spaced and written in a large font.
A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food. Paul’s letter to the Romans would become Paul’s email to abuse@romans.gov.
Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.
Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: they didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before to get it done.
“You are Looking A Little Different, Madame”
On a recent visit to Doha, I dropped in to say hello to my old tailor, who works in a tiny little shop in an obscure little area and does great work – in his own good time.
After exchanging greetings and asking about family members, etc. he looked at me and said “You are looking a little different, madame.”
I can see where this is going, and I try to head him off . .
“Yes, yes” I hurriedly reply, heading toward the door, “I am a couple years older, ha ha ha, it’s so nice seeing you!”
“Yes madame,” he says beaming at me, “You are a little bit FAT!”
“Bye!” I holler over my shoulder, as I grab AdventureMan and push him out the door; I can’t get out the door fast enough. NO! I am not fat! But who has a better eye than a tailor?
AdventureMan isn’t easy to push, especially when he is weak from laughing too hard. He is very kind to me for the rest of the day, knowing my feelings are fragile, and damaged.
Yousef’s Blonde Joke
If you think my blonde jokes are funny, you’ve got to see Yousef’s Blonde Joke.
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