Grin for the Day
Thanks to some great long-time friends for this visual:
The American way of life!
Michelangelo’s famous statue, David, returns to Italy this week after a successful 12 week, 20 city tour in the United States of America.
The David statue after a visit to the USA
Grin for the Day
I am still scurrying around, catching up, trying to get life back to normal, but this morning I took a moment to catch up with I Can Has Cheeseburgers, and I found this. I hope it makes you LOL, as it did me:
more cat pictures
Followed by this one, which makes my heart sing:
more cat pictures
Daily Grin
Thanks to a good e-mail friend for this Sunday morning joke:
If College Students Wrote The Bible
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning — cold.
The Ten Commandments would actually be only five — double-spaced and written in a large font.
A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food. Paul’s letter to the Romans would become Paul’s email to abuse@romans.gov.
Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.
Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: they didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before to get it done.
“You are Looking A Little Different, Madame”
On a recent visit to Doha, I dropped in to say hello to my old tailor, who works in a tiny little shop in an obscure little area and does great work – in his own good time.
After exchanging greetings and asking about family members, etc. he looked at me and said “You are looking a little different, madame.”
I can see where this is going, and I try to head him off . .
“Yes, yes” I hurriedly reply, heading toward the door, “I am a couple years older, ha ha ha, it’s so nice seeing you!”
“Yes madame,” he says beaming at me, “You are a little bit FAT!”
“Bye!” I holler over my shoulder, as I grab AdventureMan and push him out the door; I can’t get out the door fast enough. NO! I am not fat! But who has a better eye than a tailor?
AdventureMan isn’t easy to push, especially when he is weak from laughing too hard. He is very kind to me for the rest of the day, knowing my feelings are fragile, and damaged.
Yousef’s Blonde Joke
If you think my blonde jokes are funny, you’ve got to see Yousef’s Blonde Joke.
Warm Welcome Home
Everything went smoothly on my great trip back to Kuwait, as AdventureMan would say “the number of landings equalled the number of take-offs” and that is always a very good thing. My flights were more or less on time, I had space and time and endurance . . . the immigration line was short and my bags came off the flight quickly and . . . the best is yet to come.
We always love going to the airport. The airport in Kuwait is nothing like the airport in Seattle, all Nordic and Scandinavian cool, with restrained welcomes and hearty pats on the back . . . no, the Kuwait welcome is unrestrained, literally, although there are barriers, when someone important is coming home – a new bride, a returning university student, grandma and grandpa coming back from the Hajj, or maybe Daddy coming home from a business trip – the barriers, literally, fall.
Family members show up en masse and this is one time when voices are not lowered – everyone shouts and whoops with joy when the loved one appears on the arrival “runway.”
And today – today, it was my turn. As I exited the customs check, there were cheers! There was a huge crowd, waiting – for me! They threw rose petals! They ululated! It was the most wonderful arrival I have ever experienced. They even had TV lights, cameras!
oh! wait! who are those handsome uniformed young men being mobbed by their proud family members?
Ah well, I was welcomed by the sweet warm grin of AdventureMan, waiting for me patiently, and yes, yes, I did walk over some rose petals, and I was greeted with shouts and cheers and ululations, even if it wasn’t exactly for me . . . it was still, quite a thrill, and a wonderful way to come back to Kuwait.
When I arrived in Seattle, people told me I had brought Kuwait weather, as it was in the 90’s and low 100’s, very warm for Seattle in May. Returning the favor, the temperatures in Kuwait have dropped to about 38°C – close to 100°F, and there are scattered rain-plops. I don’t see any signs of showers, yet, but the night is yet young, and very very humid.
No Fone No Fine?
From today’s Arab Times, a dilemma for police enforcing the new no-mobile-phone-use-while-driving-law:
Mobile-user leaves cops baffled; Porn decoder seller nabbed
KUWAITI CITY : Police are reportedly confused because they don’t know what to do with an Egyptian motorist, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.
The man was talking on a cell phone while driving and when he discovered police were chasing him, he threw out the cell phone from the car window.
When police stopped him they failed to find the cell phone. The daily added the man might have realized that he would be fined KD 50 while his phone cost KD 15 and the sim card KD 5 so he decided to get rid of the phone.
Abandoned Baby
This is for my friend, Mrm, or Mirim the Mirim, a blogger friend with a fiendish eye for the sublime and the ridiculous. She hasn’t blogged for a while and I am concerned about her absence. I am hoping this photo, dedicated to her, will lure her back into the blogging world.
Actually, AdventureMan spotted the baby sitting on a garbage bin, but it was I who whipped the camera out and shot a photo.
Who would abandon this beautiful baby?
LOL Cat for Today
This one had me howling – it even looks like the Qatteri Cat, who thinks he wants to be outside . . . probably for the same reason. Poor QC vaguely remembers a time when he lived outside. He doesn’t remember the bad parts. 😦
Kuwait isn’t a good place for a cat who lives outside.
more cat pictures
Today’s Grin
You may have seen these before, but they never fail to crack me up – things people have actually said in the courtrooms:_
___________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his
sleep,
he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt’in me?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…. I was gett’in laid!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now, whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead
people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you
like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table, wondering why I was doing
an
autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh….are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
— And the best for last: —
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.
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