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Study Finds Working at Work Improves Productivity

My friends, remember as you read this that it is from The Onion and it is SATIRE.

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a groundbreaking new study by the Department of Labor, working—the physical act of engaging in a productive job-related activity—may greatly increase the amount of work accomplished during the workday, especially when compared with the more common practices of wasting time and not working.

“Our findings are astounding: By simply sitting down and doing work, employees can dramatically increase their output of goods and services,” said Deputy Undersecretary of Labor Charlotte Ponticelli, who authored the report. “In fact, ‘working’ may revolutionize the way people work.”

Perhaps even more shocking, the study reveals that not working significantly decreases worker productivity, sometimes even resulting in no work getting done at all. Similar findings were reported in the areas of avoiding work, putting off work, complaining about work instead of actually working, pretending to work, and ****ing around.

You can read the entire article HERE.

November 11, 2007 - Posted by | Bureaucracy, Community, Financial Issues, Humor, Social Issues | , , ,

7 Comments »

  1. i totally subscribe to that !

    joud's avatar Comment by joud | November 11, 2007 | Reply

  2. Not if you are French; it doesn’t.
    To get that 200% ouput and on yesterday, wine tasting sessions at lunch hour are a must.

    Provoked's avatar Comment by Provoked | November 11, 2007 | Reply

  3. LLOOLLLL! I used to watch a French detective show and he was always having wine with lunch!

    intlxpatr's avatar Comment by intlxpatr | November 11, 2007 | Reply

  4. *gasp* You don’t say? :O

    This is just like that other study: Marriage is the primary cause for divorce! :/

    3baid's avatar Comment by 3baid | November 11, 2007 | Reply

  5. Very interesting!

    True Faith's avatar Comment by True Faith | November 11, 2007 | Reply

  6. now that’s truly profound. *dryly*

    huda's avatar Comment by huda | November 11, 2007 | Reply

  7. 3baid – *dying laughing* I suppose it is!

    True Faith – The Onion does some clever things.

    Huda – Go figure!

    intlxpatr's avatar Comment by intlxpatr | November 12, 2007 | Reply


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